


Love Unexpected

by CaliKayeTylers



Category: the GazettE (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Best Friends, Consensual Underage Sex, Fluff and Angst, I promise it's not cringy, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-28
Updated: 2020-03-17
Packaged: 2020-10-29 15:07:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 10
Words: 59,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20798612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaliKayeTylers/pseuds/CaliKayeTylers
Summary: In their last year of high school four friends are coming to the realization that they don't have much time left before leaving for college. Takanori is ready yet scared of the future knowing he's going to be alone. That is until a drunken dare takes his life for a twist he never expected.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to the first chapter of my new fic!! Trying my hand at some Reituki after everyone voted for it. I know the tag says underage but I promise this won't be creepy or cringy in any way so don't be put off by it. Let me know what you think! I will try to keep this updating regularly unless school gets in the way. Right now I have 10 chapters lined out for this fic so it won't be too terribly long, but hopefully exciting enough to hold your attention :)
> 
> Side note: I do not have a beta so please excuse any mistakes I've made...

Two weeks into senior year and it still didn’t feel real.  _ Seniors.  _ Just a few more months and they’d all be getting out of this hell hole and moving away for college. Had twelve years of their lives really gone by so quickly? Well, it hadn’t seemed quick while he was avoiding being shoved in his own locker and keeping his nose deep in his textbooks. The years had been exhausting, that much he would admit. His friends were the best, but they couldn’t always be with him, and Takanori had always seemed to have a target on his back. Maybe it was because he was a head shorter than everyone else, the runt so to speak. Maybe it was because he was a bookworm. Perhaps it was his appearance? All he wore were giant hoodies and skinny jeans. What was so wrong with that? Maybe it was just his lot in life. That was fine, because another year and he would escape. Go somewhere else and make something of his life. That was part of the reason why he’d spent the last decade working so hard. Takanori had plans. Plans to move out of this town and be successful enough to be able to take care of his mother. She’d spent the last seventeen years protecting and raising him, it was the least he could do to make sure she didn’t have to work her life away. And that is why he studied constantly and took every advanced, college credit class he could get his hands on. He needed that full ride scholarship. 

He’d already applied to his top three choice schools and had a few others that he would resign himself to if for some reason he didn’t get accepted to them. Either way, he and his mother would be fine. The only thing that gave him second thoughts was leaving his friends. It wasn’t like they were going to stick together anyway, but it still hurt him to think about parting. The four of them had been inseparable since kindergarten and now they’d be spread out, far from each other. Kouyou and Yutaka were looking towards moving to England, hoping to use their soccer scholarships. Kouyou just wanted to open a coffee shop and teach soccer to children while Yutaka was going to continue through school to be a chef. They’d both realize those dreams, Takanori was sure of it. And Yuu, the high school’s local bad boy, he would make his dreams happen too. He would move off to Miami and start a musical program to teach children to play. Music was his life after all, and the very reason Takanori had formed this stupid crush on him. Sitting in a cafe watching Yuu play his black acoustic guitar had mesmerized him, but nothing would come of it. His friend, though he liked to joke, was as straight as they came. Yuu knew about his feelings too. They’d talked about it and the raven haired had apologized profusely, but Takanori had just been happy not to lose a friend. His feelings had dwindled to a crush and now he didn’t think about it as much. Maybe someday he’d find someone else to care about, but for now he’d just decided to enjoy the time he had with his friends. He only hoped that they would stay in touch after graduation. He couldn’t imagine losing them. 

“Oi, Chibi. Don’t you wanna get out of here? Or do you just really love history?” Yuu’s voice broke him out of his thoughts and he looked up just in time to see the taller man brush a section of long hair behind his ear. The action no longer made his heart pound like it had in previous years but he could still appreciate how beautiful his friend was. It really was no wonder all the girls in school would be willing to cut off a leg to be seen with him. Were all of his friends put in place just to make him look worse? Kouyou with his fire colored hair and legs a mile long, Yutaka with his million megawatt smile and shoulders to die for. It really just wasn’t fair. 

Takanori looked up at the clock. He really had just daydreamed his way through the period bell. “Shit. No, I have to hurry. My last class is over in the science wing. It takes me a bit to get there since I’m not built like you walking trees.” He said, getting up to gather his things. 

An amused chuckle left Yuu’s beautiful lips. “Oh no. You’re not going to your next class. I have a much more important place for you to be. You see, my little Chibilet, my parents left this morning. So the house is mine for the weekend. What do you say we cut out early and have a night, just the four of us?”

“I say you’re crazy. Yuu, we just started classes. I can’t start skipping already. Why can’t we just do this tomorrow night or Saturday? We have class tomorrow and the other’s have a game. They don’t need to be hungover for that, do they? Why tonight Yuu?” He asked, standing with his hands on his hips. 

The other just shrugged. “They’ll be back Saturday morning. And despite your aversion to sports, the rest of us will be busy all day tomorrow. Come on Taka. Give me one more night. Kouyou said he’d come already, and Yutaka said he would if you did. Don’t we deserve a night for ourselves?”

He had a point. They’d all been so busy with their own things through the summer that they hadn’t even had a chance to be together without interruption to just do something dumb. To be stupid teenagers one last time. Honestly getting drunk off his ass and ignoring every obligation he had to becoming an adult sounded...too enticing. “Fine. But...don’t let me take my clothes off this time alright? No one wants to see all this.  _ And  _ I don’t want anything pierced. Got it?”

“You’re the one who made the bet then lost. Who knows, maybe tonight you’ll get a matching one. Now come on, we have to get out of here before classes start.” 

Takanori grimaced, rubbing a hand over the area just above his navel where his friend had given him his last piercing. He wasn’t a pretty thin thing like the others so it didn’t look good, but if he was being honest, sometimes seeing the little dangling jewelry made him smile. It made him feel rebellious. So he’d left it in. Following Yuu out of the school was easier than he’d thought it would be. No one bothered them as they walked across the grass to Yuu’s old, black muscle car. Takanori didn’t even know what kind of car it was other than a Chevy. He liked it though. The way the leather seats smelled, the way it roared to life as if demanding that everyone within the vicinity give it attention. Takanori ducked his head down into the seat as Yuu maneuvered the car out of the parking lot. No one was going to stop the raven from leaving, but Takanori didn’t feel so lucky. 

“Are we not going to wait for Kou and Yuta?”

“Nope. They’re going to finish out the last hour so it doesn’t look suspicious all four of us being gone. You and I are gonna stop for supplies.”

Takanori rolled his eyes. “You do what you gotta do. I’m not going to that store again. The guy at the counter says I don’t even  _ look  _ old enough to buy alcohol. He asked how he could justify selling vodka to a baby? I’m not a baby. I’m just short. You can go in all by yourself. Go be my tequila hero Yuu.”

The raven laughed, the sound a bit raspy. “Alright baby. I’ll go in myself. Don’t let anyone steal my car.”

“Yeah yeah, whatever.” Takanori snarked, propping his feet up on the dash. While he waited he pulled out his phone to text his mother. 

From: Takanori

Hey Mom, I've got all my homework done for today, is it okay if I stay at Yuu's tonight?

From:Mom

That’s fine. I’m working overnight the next two nights so I won’t be home anyway. Will you be home tomorrow or Saturday?

From: Takanori

Umm probably Saturday. Kouyou and Yutaka’s first game is Friday night and they really want me to go. So I’ll see you Saturday afternoon. Be safe at work. Love you!

His mother didn’t respond so she must have gone back to work. She was working a sixteen hour shift tonight then another eight tomorrow night so most likely she would sleep most of Saturday and Sunday. Takanori would go home and make sure she woke up to a clean house and a home cooked meal. 

“You text your mom?” Yuu asked, setting down a clinking paper sack in the back seat. 

“Mhm. I’m staying at your place until Saturday. I’ll be gone before your parents get back though.”

“Sounds good.”

They fell into a comfortable silence as Yuu turned on the radio, rock music blaring out the speakers. Takanori let his hand drift in the wind as it rushed past the old car. He used to dream of the four of them taking road trips together in this car. Just using all their savings for gas and convenience store food while they traveled around and saw all the sights. They’d sleep in the car, the windows rolled down, the stars above them. But now their time together was quickly dwindling and a road trip just wasn’t in the cards. 

“Yuu? Do you remember a few years ago when we made those plans to drive to the Grand Canyon?” He asked suddenly, a feeling of melancholy clutching at his chest. 

The raven smiled, eyes still focused forward on the road. “Of course I do. I was the first one with a license so you guys were going to make me drive the whole way. I don't know if my car would even run long enough for that. What brought this up?”

Takanori shrugged, he could feel his breath getting caught in his throat but thought he could swallow the panic down. “I just... we're never going to take that trip. Or any of the trips we talked about. Our time together is a- almost over.”

Before he realized what was happening Yuu had pulled the car over against the curb a couple blocks from his house and turned towards him. Long fingers wiped away a few years he hadn't known were falling.

“Taka, don't think like this. Nothing is going to change. Just because we are moving apart doesn't mean we won't be friends. We've talked about this. We'll still talk all the time and video chat. And even if Kou and Yuta get busy and we can't talk to them as often, I will still be here. You call me at any time and I will pick up the phone. I will  _ always _ be here for you. You're my best friend. You won't be alone.” 

Takanori choked out a sob. Why all of a sudden was this getting to him? He must have just looked as pathetic as he felt because Yuu slid across the bench seat and pulled him into a tight hug.

“Everything will be fine. You’ll see. Besides, there’s bound to be more gay guys in Cali. You’ll find yourself a man who worships the ground you walk on and forget all about the rest of us.”

Leave it to Yuu to make him laugh in any situation. “You never forget your first crush Yuu. So I’m stuck with you anyway. Maybe I’ll bring my future, obviously more attractive, husband to visit you in Miami.”

Yuu actually laughed, scooting back over to his position behind the wheel. “Well, like the complete gentleman that I am, I will tell your pretty husband that if he hurts my Chibi, I’ll break his face.”

By now Takanori couldn’t keep the grin off his face. “Yuu, you’re such a romantic.”

They continued to joke about Takanori’s Adonis-like future husband, both of them cackling by the time they were parked in Yuu’s driveway. It was time for the fun to begin.

____________________

“Truth! I pick truth!” Kouyou was giggling like an idiot by now, a bottle of vanilla vodka hanging loosely from his hand as he laid back on the sofa. Takanori couldn’t help but admire his friend. The taller boy’s orangish hair was getting long, now past his shoulders and looked so soft. His cheeks were pink from all the alcohol he’d already consumed and his full lips were spread in a toothy grin. Kouyou truly was the most beautiful man he’d ever seen. He was thin, but carried some muscles from all his years playing soccer. All that running had given him a pair of legs any person would die for too. Takanori wasn’t romantically attracted to Kouyou the way he had been Yuu, but even he had to admit those thighs were a gift from the heavens. Whoever ended up getting squeezed between those legs every night was one lucky son of a bitch. 

Yuu groaned, flopping back onto the carpet. “You always pick truth. I don’t know why we even play this game. You and Taka are too chicken and Yutaka is too much of a saint. This isn’t even fun when I’m the only one that will do any dares. And even then all of your dares suck.”

Kouyou huffed, lips forming into a pout. He got a bit emotional when he drank. Which was why they’d nicknamed him the Vodka Princess. “Fine. Give me a dare then. I’ll show you that I am not a chicken!” This was going to end badly. Takanori could already tell by the way Yuu was smirking. 

“We’ll see about that. I dare you to kiss Yutaka. I mean, you say all the time that you’re best friends and there’s no feelings between the two of you, so why not give him a kiss? A real one. I wanna see tongue action.”

Yutaka was silent, chewing on his bottom lip. Somehow alcohol actually made him quiet.

“You’re just a pervert Yuu. That’s why we don’t pick dare. You just wanna watch us make out because you’re too afraid to admit you like seeing guys kiss.” Kouyou snapped back at him, now sitting up and glaring at the raven haired. 

Yuu on the other hand seemed unphased. “I do. I’ll admit it. I like kissing them too, sometimes. I’m not ashamed to admit I may not be completely straight. It doesn’t bother me one way or another. But you, Kouyou, can you admit it?”

Kouyou’s head snapped back, his jaw going slack. Takanori didn’t know what to say, what to do. This had gone beyond truth or dare. While Yuu’s admission would have thrilled him a few years ago, hearing it now didn’t mean anything. He had always had his suspicions about the raven’s sexuality but now it didn’t matter. He didn’t love Yuu, so none of this mattered to him, but to Kouyou...this was everything. This was something Kouyou had never admitted and now Yuu was all but forcing it out of him. Part of Takanori wanted to say something and stop this before things went too far, but the other part of him wanted Kouyou to confess. Because unlike the other two, Takanori knew another secret. While Kouyou and Yuu were having their stare off, he glanced to Yutaka. The hope in those dark chocolate eyes broke Takanori’s heart. How many years had he silently sat by harboring these feelings for his friend? Would Yutaka be able to let it all out if Kouyou just answered?

During his musings, Kouyou had jumped to his feet. “You know what Yuu? Fuck off. You wanna hear me say it? Fine. I like guys! Okay? I always have, and always will. You may have problem flaunting it, but I do. I’m not like you. I’ve never even been kissed. I’m the first starter of our team and I’ve never even done something that simple. It’s embarrassing, but I’m sure as hell not going to waste it on a dare. There’s only one person I want to be kissing a- and he’s straight, and I don’t want to put Yutaka through this either. So just fucking leave it alone!” Done with his tirade, Kouyou collapsed back on the sofa, his face red with what may have been more embarrassment than anger. 

“Do you feel better?” Yuu asked, seeming as if he hadn’t just been screamed at. 

Kouyou scoffed, but then shook his head and laughed. “Yeah, actually I kind of do. I’m...sorry for yelling at you.”

Yuu shook his head. “It’s okay. I deserved it for pushing. But I knew you’d feel better if you just told us. Now I’m curious though, who is this straight boy you want to kiss? Is it someone on the team with you?”

The taller boy seemed to curl in on himself, his face, now flushed bright pink. “He, uh, yeah he is, but I don’t wanna talk about it okay? Do I still have to do the dare?”   
  


“Of course not. I wouldn’t have actually made you kiss Yutaka. I’m not that cruel.”

Takanori glanced at Yutaka who had stayed quiet during the exchange. His messy mop of dark brown hair covered most of his face as he fiddled with his necklace. It was a small silver coin that Kouyou had given him when they were in grade school and the other had never taken it off. He could tell Kouyou’s obvious rejection of Yuu’s dare was hurting him. Takanori was the only one who knew Yutaka’s secret, so Kouyou had no way of knowing how much his words hurt. Maybe...on the tail end of Kouyou’s confession...Yutaka could get this off his shoulders too. It was Takanori’s turn after all. 

“Oi, Yuta, truth or dare?” 

Big chocolate eyes bore into his own so full of confusion that Takanori almost wanted to laugh. No matter what happened, it was time for his friend to confess. “Uh, truth I guess.” He answered so quietly Takanori barely heard him. 

He pretended to think about it for a moment like he didn’t already have the question planned out. “Hmm. Truth… Okay, why don’t you tell us your biggest secret? Better yet. Why don’t you tell Kouyou the secret?”

Yutaka’s face paled and he looked like he was about to be sick as he started shaking his head. 

“What secret Yuta? You can tell me anything.” Kouyou tried to comfort him, reaching out to rub his back. “I know I kept something big from you guys but it really does help to say things out loud. Why don’t you try it?”

For a moment Takanori truly thought Yutaka was going to pass out. Hell, he could practically see the guy’s heart trying to beat out of his chest. Then he must have found some kind of deeply buried courage because he looked up at Kouyou, his hand clutching the tiny coin tightly. “I...like you, Kou. A lot. I’ve never told you because I didn’t want to risk you not wanting to be friends with me, but I promise nothing changes. I’m not like creeping around watching you or anything like that. I just never thought it would matter because I thought you liked girls, but now I needed to say this so I can move on… I want you to be happy. So tell us who this guy is you’re thinking about and I promise I will help you get him, okay?”

Takanori could have sworn he literally heard Yuu’s jaw hit the floor. So Yutaka hadn’t told him either? And Kouyou, he just kept blinking over and over like his brain just couldn’t comprehend what was being said. Takanori only hoped the taller boy could get his words together in a way that wouldn’t completely destroy Yutaka’s fragile heart. He chewed on his bottom lip, watching as Kouyou finally moved, lifting his hands to frame Yutaka’s face just before leaning in to seal their lips together in the sweetest kiss he’d ever witnessed. Every ounce of tension in Yutaka’s body seemed to bleed away and he leaned into Kouyou. Neither of them even seemed to realize they still had an audience, and Takanori was surprised that even Yuu’s smart mouth stayed quiet while their friends shared this moment.

By the time they parted for breath, Yutaka was full on blushing, and hid his face in Kouyou’s shoulder. He really was just too cute for his own good. 

“Um...so…” Kouyou started but Yuu interrupted him. 

“So Yutaka is the straight guy you’ve been waiting to kiss?” Yuu exclaimed, clapping his hands together. “This is like some sappy romantic comedy. How long have you guys felt this way about one another?”

Yutaka didn’t even lift his head to answer. “Since sixth grade.”

“Seventh for me.”

“You mean it’s been years? You could have been together that long ago? Now I kinda feel bad for not pushing you sooner Kou.”

Kouyou shook his head. “No, it’s okay because I never would have admitted it back then anyway. But I guess now… Yutaka, do you want to be my boyfriend?”

“S-shouldn’t we talk about this later? Maybe in private?” The brunette stuttered out, voice muffled in Kouyou’s t-shirt. 

“Yeah, we can talk about it later. I got a dare for Yuu to do anyway.”

Yuu rolled his eyes. “I’m sure coming from you it’s  _ real  _ good. Come on, let’s have it.” 

“I dare you to egg that creepy old dude’s house.    
You know, the one just outside of town?”

“Ohhhhh now that’s a dare worth doing!! Yes!” Yuu was on his feet so fast it made Takanori’s head spin a bit. Maybe he had drank too much already. “You all gotta come with me though. I’m not gonna brave that fucker’s yard without backup.”

Kouyou scoffed. “Oh come on Yuu. He’s like eighty. What do you expect him to do? Hit you with his dentures? Throw his cane at you? Quit being such a coward.”

Yuu’s eyes widened, his finger pointing back towards himself. “Me? I’m a coward? You’ve been sitting next to the boy you love since seventh grade and haven’t said a word and  _ I’m  _ the coward? Takanori, help me get the eggs from the fridge. We’re gonna do some good old fashioned vandalism.”

. Takanori got off his ass and hurried to follow the taller boy into the kitchen. “Yuu, I don’t think this is a good idea. I mean, I know that this guy is a creep, probably has chopped up bodies in freezers in his basement, but I don’t think this is worth getting arrested for. It’s our last year here, do you really want to spend it in jail?”

Yuu turned around with a cheesy grin and patted his cheek. “We’re not going to jail Taka. Stop worrying so much. This is gonna be awesome, and I guarantee the old creep isn’t gonna do anything to us. Don’t worry, I won’t let you become one of those chopped up bodies. Besides, it’s just eggs. It’s not like we’ll actually destroy anything or hurt anyone. I need my little Chibi with me for this. You good?”

Everything in his being wanted to say no, but in the end he just nodded his head. This was such a bad idea, but really...maybe it would be better if he went. At least he could stop Yuu from doing anything else stupid. And that’s how he ended up walking down the main road of their town, still drunk, with a carton full of eggs. 

Honestly throwing eggs at an old house wasn’t the reason he was so against Yuu doing this dare. Like his friend had said, it wasn’t hurting anyone, so he didn’t really care. What was bothering him was the man who owned the house. He’d never met the man, of course. Not many people had. Kouyou’s father owned a hardware store in town and the old guy had been a customer a few times. He’d told them the guy never talked, only brought his things to the counter, laid down his money, and left. His father said he was always wearing the same thing though; blue jeans, a long black hoodie, a face mask, and dark sunglasses. No one had a clue what he looked like or even sounded like. There were many theories of who the guy was thrown around school but what was really true, no one knew. The most accepted story though was that he was hideously disfigured and that’s why he always kept himself covered. Hell, Kou’s father didn’t even know what color hair the guy had. For whatever reason though, the guy scared the hell out of Takanori. He didn’t want to go anywhere near that house. 

He had to admit though, it felt good to be outside so late at night. It was just past midnight now and the sliver of a moon kept them well hidden from prying eyes. The temperature had dropped significantly too, the cool wind ruffling his hair as they walked. How many more long nights would they have like this? At the edge of town their chatter became louder again. Mainly Yuu still teasing Kouyou and Yutaka trying to defend his newly acquired boyfriend, because let's face it, they were totally going to date. Takanori was quiet, just enjoying the sounds around them. He could hear crickets and other bugs all around them, the rustling of wind through a wheat field. He hoped after moving away he'd always remember these small things. 

About a mile later, Yuu took off at a dead run towards the old wooden house that set back from the road. Takanori swallowed hard. The structure seemed to loom over the yard before it, just daring anyone to come within its reach. He definitely didn't want too. 

“It's okay Taka. At least it's Yuu's dare, not yours. We can just hide out here and let him and Kouyou have their fun.” Yutaka tried to reassure him, rubbing at his back as they hunkered down behind a giant rock that decorated the front yard. 

From their position knelt behind the stone, Takanori watched the two taller boys approach the house. It wasn't dilapidated or anything. The old creep seemed to actually take care of it, but it didn't make it any less scary looking. What if that old guy jumped out with a gun or something? The first egg hitting the front of the house sounded more like a gunshot to Takanori. Someone had to have heard it. If not the egg then the cackling that came after. Yeah, his friends had definitely drank too much. Egg after egg was launched towards the house, some landing on the porch, others hitting the front windows until Yuu and Kouyou were out of breath from laughing so hard and they stumbled their way back to the rock he and Yutaka found refuge behind. 

“Old creep is gonna have a hell of a time cleaning all of that off!” Kouyou beamed, turning back to high five the raven. 

“I bet he doesn’t even try. The sun’s going to make some fried eggs all over his house tomorrow. I may have to stop by after the game and see if breakfast is ready!” Yuu was howling, grabbing for Takanori’s hand to yank him from the yard. “Let’s get out of here.”

Takanori struggled to keep up with the others, cursing their long legs as he almost tripped over a dip in the dirt road. He glanced back after a few minutes to see that the porch light had come on at the old house. Someone was standing under the yellow light, a black hood over his head, staring at the splotches of egg all over the wall. For some reason Takanori felt like the figure was tired. Maybe from the person’s posture or maybe it was all in his head, either way it made him feel sad. He hadn’t even been the one to throw any of the eggs yes guilt started to eat away at his heart. What if the old guy really didn’t have the capability to clean his house? What if no one would do it for him? He started to imagine the guy having to look at the mess they’d created with no way to do anything about it. His mother would be so disappointed in him for letting the others go through with the dare. She’d taught him to respect everyone, no matter who they were. What would she say if she’d seen what they’d done? 

The return trip was far less relaxing than their walk out of town. The breeze didn’t seem so fresh and the songs of the cicadas seemed overwhelming. The night was no longer peaceful for him, yet his friends didn’t seem bothered at all by their actions. Even Yutaka seemed too elated to be holding Kouyou’s hand to realize the wrong they had committed. By the time they’d returned to Yuu’s house and decided to call it a night Takanori knew he wouldn’t be getting any sleep.He just couldn’t let this go. His mind churned all kinds of thoughts and emotions through the night as he listened to the soft snores of his friends. He had to do something, right? The first rays of sunlight were creeping in through the windows of the living room when Takanori settled on a plan. That evening while his friends were at the soccer game, he would grab a bucket and some rags and head out of town. He’d clean up all the egg quietly and hope the old guy didn’t come out. If he did, then Takanori would apologize for their behaviour and take whatever punishment the creep gave him. 

Hopefully he wouldn’t end up hacked into little pieces, thrown in a freezer in the basement. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Takanori finally meets the creepy old guy XD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone that read the first chapter and for your comments!! They're greatly appreciated. I hope you enjoy this one too!!! <3

The voice he woke up to was soft and sweet, which was a welcome contrast to the stabbing pain in the back of his skull. Really, he was never drinking again. At least...not on a school night. He’d barely got an hour of sleep by the time he’d finally been able to close his eyes and now Yutaka’s chocolate eyes were hovering over him filled with concern. 

“Taka? We’re gonna be late for school if you don’t wake up soon.” The brunette said, keeping his voice soft. Yutaka always reminded him of such a mother. 

Takanori rolled on to his side, his sleeping bag getting twisted around his body. Maybe he should just call in sick. It wasn't as if he'd get much work done anyway. Unfortunately, he wasn’t willing to bother his mother long enough for her to excuse his absence, so straight to school he’d go. “Yeah, yeah. I’m getting up. Just give me a moment. I gotta brush my teeth then we’ll go. Where’s Kou and Yuu?”

Yutaka stood up, reaching a hand down towards him. “Having a smoke outside I think. I told them I’d get you up. Did you sleep at all last night?”

“Not really, but it's okay. I'll make it through school and take a nap. I'm staying here again tonight so I'll have time before you guys get back from the game. I'm assuming you and Kou will come back. Or are you gonna sneak off to make out somewhere?” Takanori teased, letting Yutaka pull him off the floor before heading off to the bathroom. His friend followed but stayed outside the door. 

“No, we will be back after the game. Kou and I text some last night and decided it's best to just let this all drop for now. So no, we aren't dating either.”

Takanori could hear the disappointment in Yutaka's tone. Whatever conclusion they came to was obviously not what he wanted. Why in the world would these two prolong being together any longer? “Yutaka, why in the world would you guys not date? Haven’t you both waited long enough? Or did you change your mind about how you felt?”

Yutaka scoffed. “Of course not. I’ve loved Kouyou for too long to let it go that easily. It's just that...our school, hell, our town, isn't so forgiving of people like us. Isn't that why you never actually came out to anyone but us? I just don't want anything to get in the way of Kou and I getting into the same school. I can't take any risks. So we're just going to hold out until we graduate. That's the plan for now. It will be...difficult. All I wanna do is jump the poor guy, Taka. That kiss? I've never felt so good, so  _ alive _ , in my entire life. I honestly don't know how long I can live without more of it.” His friend's voice sounded like he'd wandered into a mythical place where everything was good and perfect and Takanori wished he could go there too. Wished he didn't have to be alone all the time. It just wasn't his time yet, and he would never begrudge Yutaka this happiness. 

Takanori put his toothbrush back in its holder; Yuu just kept one here for each of them now. “I respect your decision here Yuta, but maybe when you're alone, or with us, you guys could not be so distant. We aren't going to poke fun at you for wanting to be together. Might be a bit jealous, but we'd be happy too.”

The smile on his friend’s face just about blinded him. “Maybe I could talk to Kou about that. We just want to take things slow. We'll work it out as we go.”

Takanori found his shoes and bag, ready to head out the door, but stopped short. “Are you upset about what happened last night? Or is it just me?”

Yutaka's hand stalled on the doorknob and he shook his head. “No, it bothers me too. It was wrong, but there's nothing we can do now. At least no one got hurt. Don't worry about it Taka. Let's just get to school.” 

It wasn’t like Yutaka to let things go so easily, but he figured the attitude was less about worry for himself. He was more than likely worried that something would happen to Kouyou if they worried about it any more. It wasn’t like Takanori hadn’t had the same thoughts while laying awake all night. He didn’t want his friends to get in any trouble. That’s why he’d already decided he’d go alone to clean up their mess. After tonight he’d never have to worry about this again. He followed Yutaka out onto the porch where Yuu was just stubbing out a cigarette the taller boys had been sharing. 

“Yuu? Can I drive?” He asked, reaching up to twist a chunk of soft raven hair between his fingers. 

Caramel brown eyes narrowed on him and Yuu leaned down until their face lips were only millimeters apart. “And why should I let you drive? Can you even reach the pedals Chibi?”

Takanori smirked, this game didn’t work so well anymore. He calmly licked his lips and reached into the pocket of Yuu’s jeans to pull out the key. “I can and I will. You’re not a temptation anymore baby.” 

Yuu lowered his head again, rubbing their noses together, and Takanori laughed despite the way it made his head ache. “I love you, you infuriating little gremlin.”

“I love you too, grumpy old man. Now come on, let’s see if I actually can reach those pedals!”

_________________

His first class was almost barrable. At least Kouyou sat next to him during the hell that was his English class. It wasn't that he didn't like the subject. In fact, it was his favorite right after music. It was just that he couldn't keep his eyes open and he knew damn well this teacher  _ would  _ call him out if he fell asleep. So in an attempt to stay conscious, he tore a piece of paper out of his notebook and scribbled down a quick note before passing it to Kouyou. He might as well sate his curiosity because he knew the teacher wasn't paying attention to them. 

** _Yutaka told me you guys decided not to date? Was that your idea or his?_ **

He watched as his friend's eyes scanned the little note. A smile tugged at his lips as Kouyou's nose scrunched up in concentration. Takanori had always loved the faces the taller boy made when he was really focused on something. He understood why Yutaka found him so endearing. His tongue even poked out the side of his plush lips when he started writing back. Takanori suppressed a snort when Kouyou stared at the back of the teacher's head, making sure he wasn't going to turn around, before sliding the note back to him. Why was he like this?

** _It was his idea. He's afraid we might get looked down on for dating. Getting into school is extremely important to both of us, and I understand him not wanting to screw it up, but I don't see why we couldn't be together in private. I love him. I don't want unable to touch him when we're alone. He wouldn't even hold my hand in the car. What should I do?_ **

** _PS: You look like crap._ **

That last bit actually had him laughing aloud and everyone in the room turned to stare at him for a moment. 

“Sorry. Funny memory.” He murmured and apparently it appeased the the class. 

** _I didn't sleep because I was too worried about you idiots getting in trouble. Fuck you. _ **

** _Anyway, I agree with you. I kind of said the same to him this morning. Not that I have any doubts, but wouldn't it be better to find out if you two work together here rather than when you get to London? Maybe I can help you convince him. _ **

** _PS: You look tired. Will you be fine for the game tonight?_ **

He passed the note back, jotting down a few doodles to his homework paper before it was handed back. 

** _I would appreciate your help Taka. Please if you can, say something more to him. _ **

** _I'll be fine. I'm tired but not hungover tired like you seem to be. How will you make it through your classes without us?_ **

Honestly, Takanori wasn't sure he would.

** _Don't worry. I'll make it som_ **

“Matsumoto? Is that something you and Takashima would like to share with the class?”

Takanori grabbedhe paper before his teacher could get his hands on it and shoved it into his bag. “No, nothing to share. Sorry.” 

Thankfully the teacher actually let it go and continued on with class. He caught Kouyou trying not to laugh and properly flipped him off before going back to doodling on his notes. Productive was not something he planned to be today. 

________________________

The rest of his day went about as expected. Yutaka managed to keep him awake in his last class only by flicking him on the ear every ten minutes or so. Takanori both hated and loved the brunette for it. He wished Yutaka had sat beside instead of behind him so he could talk to him about Kouyou, but that would just have to wait until they all got home later that night. By the time the final bell rang, Takanori had to drag himself out of his chair and hold on to Yutaka’s backpack just to stay upright. How the hell was he supposed to clean all that egg when he could barely stay awake?

“Geez Taka. No more drinking for you. Come on, let’s get you home. You can just sleep until we get back tonight.” Yuu said as he relieved him of his bag and embarrassingly scooped him up into his arms to carry him across the parking lot. Normally he would have complained about the other picking him up like this, but right now he was too tired to care. He was definitely going to take that nap before heading out to the creepy old guy’s house. After all, he’d need energy to be able to run away if the dude tried to kidnap him. No way was he going to end up tied up in a basement. So instead of fighting, he wrapped his arms around Yuu’s neck and let the taller boy take him to the car. 

“Are you going to stay home for awhile or come back to the school to be with Kouyou and Yuta?” He asked as he was set down in the front seat and buckled in. 

“I’m going to stay with you for an hour or so then come back. I’m a little worried. That’s how bad you look.” 

“Thanks. That’s sweet of you to say. Just...carry me inside. Please.”

The ride to Yuu’s was less than ten minutes but as tired as he was, Takanori had drifted off before they’d made it out of the parking lot. He didn’t surface again until Yuu laid him down on his bed, and Takanori cracked an eye open just in time to watch the raven haired remove his shoes before crawling into the small bed with him. They hadn’t slept together like this in a while. Usually they’d all stay downstairs in the living room since Yuu’s room was too small for the four of them now. He’d missed this. Especially when Yuu’s arm draped over his waist and Takanori scooted close enough his nose was pressed to the other’s t-shirt. 

“Thank you, Yuu.” He whispered, letting his hands rest on his chest.

The voice from above him sounded just as sleepy as he did. “Mhm. Love you Taka. Go to sleep.”

That he could do.

________________________________

Yuu was gone by the time an alarm on his phone woke him up, but it was still light outside. His friend must have set the alarm before leaving because Takanori knew he hadn’t been conscious enough to do it himself. Looking at the clock, he sighed. It was just after six. The game didn’t start until seven so he had plenty of time. Now he just had to get his ass out of bed. 

He found a bucket and some rags in the garage and took Yuu’s old bicycle off the rack. The tires still looked fine though they hadn’t ridden in years. Hopefully no one would be outside to see him riding through town with a big ass bucket on a bike. 

Takanori let out a breath of relief as he pulled on to the dirt road leading out of town. Honestly he wasn’t sure what he was more scared of, someone spotting him, or the house to which he was headed. He truly was such a chicken shit. And the closer he got to the old house, the more he felt like running the opposite direction. Even in broad daylight he could feel the house looming over him,  _ watching  _ him. 

“I’m only here to help. No more eggs.” He whispered to the house. 

Who cared if he looked crazy as long as the house or its owner didn’t make him into chicken dinner?

_ Come on Taka, you can do this! _

After some mental preparation, Takanori left his bike at the end of the driveway and carried the bucket towards the porch. His heartbeat was hammering in his ears, but he wouldn’t stop. Couldn’t. The egg hadn’t been cleaned off yet and part of him wished the old man had already done it so he could say he’d done the right thing and run home. One thing that did lighten his anxieties was the missing red pickup truck. Maybe the guy had gone out for something. In that case he could clean up the mess and be gone before the man came back and caught him. Yes. Perfect plan. 

Except for one small detail he hadn’t had the common sense to think of. Water. How had he not thought of that?

With a curse, Takanori jumped off the porch and started around the side of the house. Surely there was a spout somewhere… Ah! Just towards the back of the house was a hose connected to a faucet. It wouldn’t hurt to use it right? No one would know. Takanori filled his bucket about halfway then made sure the water was turned off before hauling it back to the porch. The splotches of egg were bigger than he had thought they’d be. At least Yuu and Kouyou were professional in their vandalism. It took some scrubbing, and trial and error, but Takanori finally figured out what worked best. He’d been at it for almost an hour and only had two big spots left when the sound of a vehicle on the road distracted him. It seemed he wasn’t as lucky as he’d thought. 

Takanori turned back to his work as the old truck pulled up into the driveway and passed the house before parking. He tried to ignore the sudden rush of ice through his veins, the chill up his spine, but it was no use. As footsteps approached the porch, Takanori focused closely on the wall in front of him. Maybe if he just didn't look…

“You were here last night?”

The voice was deep, but didn't have that strained sound that Takanori would associate with an elderly person. Still it took everything in his power to simply nod his head. “I- I was here. I didn't throw any but I didn't stop my friends from doing it either. I am sorry for our behavior. I will finish quickly.” He managed to get out, his skin vibrating with how scared he was. 

“I saw all of you running away. Where are your friends then, if you didn't actually do this? Shouldn't they be here to help you?”

“They...don't know I'm here. I thought maybe...if I jus- If I just cleaned it up then maybe you wouldn't report us.”

A sharp, yet light, laugh hit his ears, catching him off guard. “I'm not going to report anyone, but maybe you should choose better friends.”

Takanori paused his scrubbing, itching to turn and defend his friends, but then he thought about what his hands would look like detached and put in a freezer and thought better of it. “Thank you. We won't bother you again. I swear it.”

“Mm. I'd appreciate that. What's your name?” The man asked, moving closer to the door and into Takanori's peripheral. He really didn't want to give out his name to someone who could still turn him in to the police, but he didn't want to be rude either. 

“Uh, Matsumoto. Takanori Matsumoto.”

“Ah, your mother works at the hospital, doesn't she? I think I've met her on one of my frequent visits. I wonder if she knows what her son has been up to? Where does she think you're at now I wonder?” 

That did have him turning around, water running down his arm as he gripped the rag in his hand. He took in the old man for the first time. He was taller than Takanori, that was for sure, and wore a big black hoodie with the hood pulled over his head so he couldn't even see the guys hair. He had a mask covering his lower face and weird sunglasses on his face. Takanori literally couldn't make out any kind of trait of the other man and it was unnerving.

“My mother is working. She works all the time. I'm not a bad kid!” He snapped, but the other man only held up his hands.

“I was only messing with you kid. Chill. When you're done here, I'm about to start dinner. You're welcome to stay if you're hungry.”

Takanori was stunned. Was this guy gonna cook  _ him _ for dinner? “Oh, um, I really should get back to my friend's house before they realize I'm missing. Tha- thank you though.”

Somehow, even though he couldn't see it, Takanori knew the man's expression showed disappointment when he spoke. “Oh, of course. Yes. Anyway, if you change your mind the kitchen is straight back from the front door. Thanks for coming and cleaning this up Takanori.”

The other man disappeared into the house, leaving Takanori feeling both unnerved and...sad. His heart felt heavy as he continued to wash away the rest of the egg. He couldn't even see the man's face, so why did he feel so sad for him? An overbearing sense of loneliness settled in his chest and he knew it wasn't his own. Maybe.. it wouldn't hurt to stay. After all, he was curious too. 

It took another half an hour for the last big spots and Takanori threw the water out away from the house and rinsed the bucket and rags, leaving them lay out on the porch to dry. His hand was on the doorknob when he paused and really thought this through. Out here he was relatively safe. If he went inside no one would know where he was. They wouldn't even know where to start searching if he disappeared. But that feeling of sadness just wouldn't stop twisting his insides. Was it possible that this guy  _ needed  _ him to come inside? Takanori couldn't shake the feeling that leaving was the wrong thing to do, so he took a deep breath and went inside.

The house wasn't what he expected at all. It felt.. warm. Inviting even. There were no handcuffs on the walls or tables to dissect children on. It looked like every other country house without all the knick knacks and old lady doilies. He could see into the living room where there was an impressive amount of video games as well as a big TV which seemed like a strange thing for an older man to have. The place was clean too, and smelled of a lemon cleaner. At least it did until the smell of something wafting from the kitchen caught his nose and made the monster in his stomach come to life. 

He found the man in the kitchen, putting what looked like barbequed ribs on to a platter. Takanori's mouth started to water as he stood stupidly in the doorway. What should he say? Was he really welcome to come in? 

“Could you get the bowl out of the microwave? Gotta get the corn of the grill out back then everything will be ready.” The man turned towards him and Takanori somehow knew he was staring him straight in the eye. “I'm glad you stayed. I hope you aren't a vegetarian.”

A chuckle fell from his lips as he moved to the counter and took a bowl of homemade mashed potatoes from the microwave, setting it next to what he assumed was a gravy bowl. He hadn't eaten anything like this in a long time. While his mom worked weird hours, Takanori usually ended up making something small for himself. Maybe he should try to learn to actually cook. 

“No, no. Definitely not a vegetarian. Um, thank you. For inviting me in. My moms working tonight so I'm staying with my friends. I'm sure we would have just had pizza again. This all smells so good. You're like a professional chef! Ah, I'm rattling on. I um… I talk when I'm nervous. I apologize.” He replied a bit sheepishly, rubbing at the back of his neck.

“I'm not even close to professional but I do okay. Hopefully it's edible. Not that I mind you talking, but why are you nervous? Did I say something wrong?” The man asked as he took a plate from the cabinet for the corn. 

Takanori shook his head. “No, of course not. I just...you're a stranger and I just walked into your house. And I mean you kind of have a certain reputation in town. I don't know how many of the rumors are true. I don't even know your name.”

“It's Akira. My name is Akira.” He answered calmly, but Takanori could tell what he'd said had bothered the other man. “Back in a second. Then we can sit down and talk about this if you want.” 

Before he could reply Akira was out the back door. He was quick despite the obvious limp he walked with. Takanori couldn't help but wonder what happened. His head was so full of questions as he took one of the glasses from the table and filled it from a pitcher of tea. He sat down at the side of the table figuring Akira would sit at the head of it. Honestly he hadn't meant to upset the older man. Sometimes his mouth spoke before he could filter it. He'd have to keep himself in check better. 

Akira came back in a few minutes later, the empty plate now filled with sweet smelling corn. He took his spot at the table and poured his own drink before his hands lifted to take off the mask on his face. Takanori held his breath, unsure of what to expect, but left only more confused when the fabric fell away to reveal a strip of white material covering Akira’s nose. A mask under a mask? It was confusing, but his mind didn't focus on that. No, instead he was too focused on the soft pink lips that came into his view. Those were not the lips of an eighty year old man. The shoulder length, soft blond hair hiding under that hoodie weren't either. It was difficult to imagine what was hidden behind that strip of material and glasses because the rest of Akira was downright hot. 

“Takanori? Are you okay?”

He shook his head, trying to come back to reality, and realized the other had started filling a plate already. 

“Oh uh yeah. I'm fine. Akira, I'm sorry for what I blurted out earlier. You've been nothing but nice to me. I may have misjudged you.” He said before beginning to fill his own plate. 

Akira smiled and Takanori thought he was going to have a heart attack. A man with a smile like that shouldn't have to hide behind anything. “It's okay. I know I'm a topic of conversation and usually not in a positive way. Come on, tell me some of these rumors that get passed around your school.”

Eh? Akira actually wanted to know the bad things being said about him?

“Well, for one they say you're like eighty years old. And I can tell from looking at you, that one isn't true.” 

The blond laughed again, a deep, rough sound. “You're observant. No. I turned twenty six this year.”

That left Takanori choking on his corn, which by the way, tasted like everything good in the world. “Twenty six?? You're only nine years older than me? How the hell? But I've heard stories about you forever.” Or at least it felt like forever.

“Sorry to disappoint. I've only been here for a little over five years now. My grandpa owned the house before I did. Maybe the rumors started with him. He was a bit reclusive after my grandma died. But I moved here from Oregon when you were in...middle school. Give me another. There has to be something worse than that.”

“Well, they like to say you keep kids in freezers in your basement after cutting them up into pieces.”

Akira’s mouth fell open before he burst into a fit of giggles that left Takanori unable to keep the smile off his own face. Really this man should laugh more. 

“I don't even have a basement! Are you serious?? I couldn't do that. I get squeamish when I see blood. I'm definitely not cutting up kids. And I only have one freezer so that's obviously not going to hold too many high schoolers.” He said between laughs. Takanori couldn't stop wondering how his eyes looked, crinkled at the edges while he laughed. He'd put money on it being a breathtaking sight. Fuck. He really needed not to think this way. “Are there any others?”

Should he really tell Akira the horrible ones? “Eh, just more like that. They uh, they say you were in an accident. That you cover your face and body when you're in public because it left you...deformed.”

The laughter stopped and Takanori wished he could rewind the clock a handful of seconds and not speak those words again because that almost palpable feeling of sadness was hanging over them again. Akira lowered his head, a sigh leaving his shoulders caving in on himself. 

“Well, at least they got one rumor right I guess. It’s- it’s just my face though.” Akira said, motioning to where his eyes and nose were covered. “I only cover everything when I go out because then people don’t try to search for the ‘defect’. It’s easier this way. My knee is fucked up, I can’t hide that, but everything else I can.”

Takanori could feel his own heart cracking the same as Akira’s voice. “What… Akira, can I ask...what happened?”

The older man smiled at him again. “You can, but I think that’s a story for a different day. Why don’t we talk about something happier? Unless you’d rather leave. I’d understand if you want to.”

“No, of course not. I’m not going anywhere. You said a story for a different day. I take that as you wouldn’t mind me coming back?” 

Now Akira was smiling for real again. “I wouldn’t. It gets lonely out here all by myself. I wouldn’t mind the company. You’re welcome to stop by anytime.”

“I will. No one should be lonely. Anyway, you mentioned meeting my mom at the hospital?” Takanori tried to change the subject before the heat in his cheeks could make him blush even worse. 

“I did. I have to go in one or two times a month for regular check-ups and I always try to schedule them with her. Your mom's the only nurse there that will look at me directly and treat me like a person. I mean...I understand why the others won't. I make them uneasy, but she doesn't even seem to notice. Your mom's incredible.”

“Sounds like you've got a crush Akira.” Takanori teased, biting into one of the messy ribs. This man was most certainly a professional. 

“I think she's a bit old for me. You're closer to my age than she is. I mean- fuck that is not how I meant that to sound. I'm not some predatory creep. Please forget I said that.”

Now it was Takanori cackling, trying his best not to choke on his food. The utter horror in Akira’s voice left him dying. He only was able to stop when a bread roll hit him in the forehead. 

“Did you just through a roll at me??” He asked, fake surprise on his face. 

Akira was grinning like an idiot. “I did no such thing. That would be childish.”

The rest of their meal was much more quiet. They talked about video games and music. Akira told him he loved reading but his poor sight made it give him a headache. Takanori offered to read to him in exchange for the other playing a bit of guitar for him. Some of dinner they spent in a comfortable silence, both alone with their thoughts. It was nice. Honestly one of the best evenings he'd had in a while. 

“Let me help you with the dishes?” He asked, getting up to clean off his plate. 

“Nah, don't worry about it. I don't mind doing them and you should probably be heading back to your friend's house. It's getting fairly late.” 

Takanori looked up at the clock on the stove. It was almost ten o'clock; he really should be heading back. But he didn't really want to leave yet. 

“It's fine. If they get back before me I'll just tell them I went home for awhile. You cooked so the least I can do is help clean up. Come on, bring the dishes over. I'll wash and you can dry.”

He knew Akira wanted to argue, but the blond stayed quiet and did as he was told. They talked more while they worked. Takanori asked about Oregon since he'd never been there. Akira's descriptions made it sound beautiful. Maybe he'd be able to go there someday. 

“Alright Taka. You gotta get going. I'm not...trying to get rid of you, but I had an appointment in the city this morning and did a lot of walking. My knee is killing me so I'm going to take something for it. The meds usually knock me out so I want you to go before I do that.” Akira told him, scribbling something down on a sticky note before handing it to him. “That's my number. Just let me know you made it home safe okay?”

Takanori took the note, feeling much better now that he knew Akira wasn't just tired of his company, and maybe he was also trying not to blush at the nickname the blond gave him. “Okay. I'll go then. Thank you for dinner Akira. And I am really sorry about the egg thing. It won't happen again.”

Akira genuinely smiled and somehow Takanori just knew it reached the other's eyes. “Well, if it does I'll know who to call to clean it up, huh?” 

“I take back you being kind. You're just an ass.” 

“Aww you're too cute when you pout. Get your bratty ass out of here!” 

Takanori felt so light hearted as he rode the bike back to Yuu's house. It was a strange contrast to how he'd felt when he'd left earlier that evening. He found though that he really didn enjoy his time. Whatever had happened to Akira to make him keep his face hidden, he didn’t care about it. He liked the guy. In a platonic way of course. After all, he was nine years older than him. Falling for someone like that would just be stupid on his part. All he had to do was make sure this little spark of camaraderie between them didn’t turn into more for him. He could do that. Plus, going to Akira’s would give him a place to go when Kou and Yutaka were at games and practices, or when Yuu was at work. A part of him still felt horrible for all the times he’d perpetuated the rumors about the blond, but he’d make sure from now on that he had no part of it, and would try to defend him, as long as no one got suspicious. 

After changing into his sleep clothes, Takanori grabbed a blanket and took up residence in the big recliner that Yuu’s dad had insisted they buy then never actually sat in. He loved it though. Ignoring the way his heart started to flutter, he typed in Akira’s number then pulled up a new text. 

From: Takanori

Hey, I made it to my friend’s house. They haven’t made it back yet so I’m safe :P Are you going to bed now?

From: Akira

Good. I’m glad you made it safely. Not quite. It’ll take about twenty minutes for the meds to work their magic. Takanori, is this weird to you? I know I gave you my number and asked you to come back over, but if this feels wrong to you at all, then please let me know. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.

From: Takanori

Not at all. Don’t worry so much. I think you’re a good guy Akira. If I ever think otherwise, I’ll let you know. I’m almost an adult. It’s time for me to start making decisions for myself, right? Well, I decided to text you, so that’s that. Is it...okay for me to text you every once in a while? Or was this a one time thing?

From: Akira

You’re welcome to message me whenever you like. I work from home, as you can imagine, so I’m fairly free all day. I’d be happy to talk anytime you like. 

They continued to text for awhile until Akira said that he was getting too sleepy to keep his eyes open. Takanori bid him goodnight and told him he’d probably text him in the morning. He’d just hit send on the last message when he heard Yuu’s car pulling into the driveway. 

  
  
  
  



	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of time with the boys, more about Akira, and a new character is introduced!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the comments and kudos!! I appreciate all of you so much!!

September was coming to an end and Takanori was convinced it had been the best month of his entire life. The warm weather had persisted longer than expected, allowing them to pretend it was summer just a bit longer. When she wasn't working, Takanori spent time with his mother, knowing full well the thought of him leaving was hard for her. They hadn't really talked about it yet, but he was sure they would before long. The rest of the time he spent with his friends. Though that had decided maybe drinking wasn't such a good idea anymore, they were still enjoying the moments together. Going out and doing things they hadn't in years. Kouyou had said they had to make this the best year possible and they had taken that to heart. Takanori had even gone with them to a soccer game out of town per Akira's advice. The blond had told him to go to support his friends whether he wanted to be there or not and surprisingly Takanori had actually enjoyed himself.

And speaking of Akira, Takanori was spending every free minute at the older man’s house. It was beginning to feel like his second home. Sometimes they hung out and cooked dinner together, others they played video games or watched movies. Occasionally Akira was working and Takanori was quite content to sit on the other end of his heavy wooden desk and do his homework. He’d found out Akira worked with a couple companies doing tech calls. Apparently it made good enough money, but what impressed Takanori the most was when Akira had shown him his other job. He was writing music on the side, selling pieces to bands all over the world. He was good at it too. Sometimes he’d let Takanori make up words to his music and they’d sing them together. Those were his favorite times, but he always wished his time would last longer. 

Which was why he’d done the unthinkable and lied to his mother. Yuu was taking Yutaka and Kouyou to the city for some kind of date day, leaving Takanori alone in town. His mother would be asleep or working all Saturday so he’d told her he was going to go with them. Just a little white lie. He just wanted to spend the day with Akira without having to worry about the time. He’d been looking forward to this Saturday for a couple weeks now, but first he was going to enjoy this evening with his friends. 

It had been a few years since they’d been here. As teens the four of them had come down to this specific bridge, hiding out underneath it with bottles of stolen tequila. Just a few minutes away was where he'd confessed his feelings to Yuu. Where Yutaka had drunkenly mumbled his first curse word, and where they had all gathered to be alone the day after Kouyou's mother's funeral. It was their own special place. 

From the bridge it was about a ten minute walk down the river and into the woods to their sacred place. They could hear the road of water cascading over the cliff before they could see it and Takanori began to feel excited. It was still warm enough they'd probably be able to swim for awhile before the sun went down. Yuu was going on about something none of them were really paying attention to, as they walked carefully down the pathway, winding down the side of the cliff. The water was foaming and bubbly at the bottom of the waterfall; the pool below clear as crystal. This was the only place other than a swimming pool where Takanori would get in the water. It was too beautiful not too. 

  
  


“I can't wait to get in there. It's almost October, why is it still so hot?” Kouyou whined, his long hair sticking to his bare shoulders. 

“Climate change is a real thing-”

“Shut up Yutaka.” The other three of them said at once. 

“You guys suck. You never want to listen to anything I have to say.”

A rather annoyingly loud groan came from Kouyou's throat before he was throwing his backpack into Yuu's arms. “If he's gonna start talking weather, I'm jumping in now.” 

Takanori found himself with an arm full of bags and clothes as Yuu stripped down to his boxers and grabbed for Kouyou's hand. Yutaka flipped them both off as they jumped off the side of the cliff into the water far below. 

“Why do I fucking care about him? He never listens.” Yutaka grumbled but Takanori just laughed. 

“Because your science talk is so boring Yuta. Talk about food. That's much more interesting. Tell me again how you make a souffle.”

That perked the other teen up, and by the time they made it to the small clearing at the bottom of the cliff Takanori was sure he was a master chef. Yutaka was so cute. 

“What took you guys so long!? Get in the water!” Yuu called, trying his best to dunk Kouyou under the water.

“Yeah! Take it off!” The blond cat called them and much to his surprise Yutaka actually did. Maybe being with Kouyou was a confidence boost for him. He flung his shirt and shorts behind him and ran towards the water straight into Kouyou's waiting arms. 

Correction. They were both so cute. 

Takanori took his time, making sure all their things were a safe distance from the water before pulling off his shoes. The soft, green grass was cool under his bare feet reminding him of the times they'd been here before. 

“Taka? Midget?”

Takanori was pulled from his thoughts and looked up to see Yuu standing before him. 

“Well hello Adonis. Sorry I was spacing off.” He said, pulling off the rest of his clothes. Looking at the other two in the water he smirked. “I wanna see four hands above the water now!” He called and Yutaka's hands immediately went up while Kouyou's moved to tickle his boyfriend's sides. Takanori was about to tease the brunette when he was shoved hard from the back and sent face first into the pool. 

______________

“Cheap ass beer has never tasted so good.” 

Takanori lifted his can up in agreement, clinking it against the side of Yuu's. Time had kind of gotten away from them and now the moon was bathing the area in an unearthly light. It wasn't like they couldn't find their way back to the road. Hell they could probably do it blindfolded by now. With a sigh he took another sip of the cold, thanks to Yutaka, beer and laid back, his head resting on Kouyou's stomach. Yutaka was slouched over in Yuu's lap while the raven’s fingers carded through his hair. If they stayed too much longer he'd be asleep. 

Kouyou's whole body suddenly jerked a little and Takanori sat up, noticing his friend had his arm thrown over his eyes. 

“Kou? Honey what's wrong? Are you crying?” He asked, reaching for the boy's arm. Yutaka must have heard him because even in his slightly intoxicated state he crawled over to his boyfriend. Kouyou rolled on to his side, head falling into Takanori's lap as his long arms wrapped around his waist. 

“I'm not ready to leave. I'm not ready for this to be our last summer together. Can't we just...make it all stop for a little longer? Just stay here and forget about school and moving a- and everything. I don't think I can do this!” The blond finally yells out, sobs choking his words and breaking Takanori's heart. 

Yuu moved over to them and hauled Kouyou up to hold him against his chest where he and Yutaka wrapped their arms around them both. Kouyou was shaking with every cry leaving his lips and every one of them felt it. After all, they were thinking the same things. 

“This won't be our last summer Kou.” Yuu whispered, pressing kisses to the blonde's hair. “No matter what happens or where we go we'll always come back together. We're best friends. That's never going to change. But we can't stay here. You know that.”

“B- but I'm going to miss you guys so much…”

Takanori could feel himself crying already. “We're going to miss you too. Both of you. So you and Yuta gotta take care of each other. Because...you're the strong one. He's always gonna be the baby. You can do this for him, right?”

Yutaka almost laughed. “For once I don't mind you calling me the baby, but I'm gonna take care of you too, Kouyou. Who knows maybe someday we'll all live in the same retirement home. Well, Yuu will have to pick where we live since he'll be there first.”

“Oi! At least I'll have the motorized scooter first. I'll chase you walker zombies down and hit you with my cane.”

Now they were all laughing and it felt so good. Cathartic even. The four of them stayed just like that, all cuddled up in each other's arms for what seemed like forever before they heard the unmistakable sound of Kouyou's snores. The blond had just worn himself out apparently. 

“If you guys can carry our things, I'll carry him.” Yuu said quietly and he and Yutaka picked up all they're stuff, ready to head back up to the car. Kouyou woke up just enough to help Yuu lift him onto his back, wrapping his lanky arms around his neck before passing back out. 

The trip back to the car was much more quiet than when they’d arrived. They were all tired, but happy, settling in their own thoughts instead of conversing between themselves. They didn’t even stay up late talking, curling up in their sleeping bags and saying quick good nights. Takanori smiled to himself seeing Kouyou and Yutaka had zipped theirs together. He was so happy the two had decided to date, at least in private. 

Yuu turned the lights out, allowing him some privacy, so Takanori grabbed his phone and typed out a text. 

**From: Takanori **

**Hey Aki. I just wanted you to know we made it home for the night. All tucked in bed. **

It didn’t take more than a handful of moments for Akira to reply and a grin to spread across the younger’s face.

**From: Akira**

**Thank you for remembering to tell me. It’s early for you guys. Did little Taka wear himself out?**

**From: Takanori**

**Couldn’t you go one day without teasing me? If you don’t stop I’m going to assume you’re flirting with me. **

**From: Akira**

**Takanori. Don’t talk about things like that. I know you’re only joking, but I’m already pushing my luck just being friends with you. If someone were to see you texting these things it could be misconstrued and then I go to jail. **

**From: Takanori**

**I know. I know. I’m sorry Aki. I won’t do it again. Can I still come to your house tomorrow?**

**From: Akira**

**I’m not mad at you Taka. We just have to be careful. I don’t need anymore rumors. Of course you can still come over tomorrow. I’ll be up around 7, so anytime after that is fine. Get some sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow.**

He couldn't just go to sleep though. He felt too guilty. Takanori knew full well Akira was straight, and even if he hadn't been, he still wasn't flirting. Sometime over the course of the month, he'd developed this stupid crush on the older man and had a bad habit of pushing it onto Akira. That needed to stop. Takanori needed to realize the crush for what it was then move on before something bad did happen. 

**From: Takanori**

**I am really sorry Akira. It was inappropriate and I know that. I promise I won't say anything like that anymore. I hope you sleep well. I'll be there in the morning.**

_______________________________ 

The next morning the guys left around eight so Takanori got up with them and took a shower. After seeing them off, he gathered his things and took them across the street to his own house. His mom was asleep so he tried to be quiet, managing to make it out without waking her. Honestly, after last night he was a bit nervous to see Akira again. Especially after finally admitting his little crush to himself. But now that he owned up to it, he could move on, right? 

Once he’d reached the house, Takanori went inside, calling out the blonde’s name. He received no answer though so he dropped his bag on the sofa and headed back outside. The truck was still parked in the driveway so he knew the older man was there somewhere. He checked the small stable where Akira’s horse, Tally, was munching away on her sweet corn mixture. 

“Hey pretty girl.” Takanori cooed, reaching out to let her smell him. Akira had introduced them a few weeks ago after he’d admitted to never having touched a horse. At first he’d been leery of the giant animal, but after a few days Takanori had finally worked up the guts to touch her. Tally’s muzzle had been so soft and he’d fallen in love with her. Now he went to see her every time he came over. “Where is your owner, hm? Where is that handsome blond?”

Tally didn’t seem to care that he’d even spoken, and Takanori sighed, patting her head as she went back to her feed. 

Leaving the stable, he looked around and noticed the door to the barn was slightly ajar. Maybe Akira was out working on his stupid car again. He seemed to be out there a lot lately. And sure enough the blond was inside. Takanori snuck inside quietly, the creak of the door overpowered by the rock music blaring from the speakers. Akira was indeed bent over under the hood of the cherry red Mustang. The sight made Takanori’s traitorous heart skip a beat. His baggy jeans hung low on his hips, grey tank top covered in greasy fingerprints. He could see the sheen of sweat shining on the muscles of his arms and Takanori had to part his lips just to breathe. Good lord that was one fine ass man. 

“Uh, Akira?” Takanori called over the music to get the blonde’s attention. 

Akira turned towards his voice, a grin splitting his lips. “Taka! About time you showed up. Come here, hold this light.”

Takanori was positively beaming. It seemed things would be okay between them, despite Akira not replying to his apology from the night before. 

“I thought we were going to clean out the tack room today?” He asked, taking the flashlight and aiming it where he was instructed. 

“It can wait. I got distracted. How was your evening with your friends?”

“It was fine. Things got kind of…emotional. It seems like none of us are ready to leave yet. I don’t know… Maybe I’m not either.”

Akira paused in his movements, eyes turning up to him. “You’re not thinking of staying here though, right? You’ve worked too hard to get stuck here Taka.”

Takanori lightly bonked the blonde’s head with the flashlight. “Of course I’m not. I’m just feeling nervous about leaving. San Francisco is a big place. The thought of being there all alone keeps creeping into my mind and it’s scary. How is ‘little Taka’ going to deal in such a big city? A- and my friends, I’m going to miss them so much. Maybe I’ll miss you too, just a little bit.”

“Just a little bit? Well, I'm gonna miss you too Taka.” He said, leaning over to bump his shoulder with Takanori's. “But I don't think you need to worry about all this. You're going to be great. You're gonna go to San Francisco and make it your bitch. And after your done with school and you're a famous designer, you better design me something that'll make me look so hot I won't be able to keep the girls off me.”

_ You don't need a new outfit for that. _

“Oh, will you come be my model then? I’ll make you some kind of crop top to show off those abs you’re always working on.” 

Akira scoffed. “Stop it. Me, a model? Only if you’re doing a horror themed fashion show.”

Takanori hated it when Akira talked like this. True, he had no idea what the other looked like minus the band over his nose and sunglasses, but it didn’t matter to him. Akira could have looked like Igor and he still wouldn’t have cared. His soul was too beautiful for him to think that way about himself. 

“I’ve told you not to say things like that about yourself. I don’t like it. Thank you though...for the vote of confidence. I’m going to try my best not to get overwhelmed. Will I still be able to text you after I move?”

The blond nodded. “I’ll be here whenever you need me Taka. Until you’re settled and get wrapped up in everything there and forget about me, then I will be here. Just...don’t let anything back here slow you down, okay? I mean, keep in touch with your mom, obviously, but as for me, don’t feel like you have to keep in touch with me. I can handle it. I only want what's best for you.”

Takanori ground his teeth together. All he wanted to do was walk away before he really did whack the other with this flashlight. Why was he like this? Why did he always try to make their relationship sound so insignificant to him? It made his blood boil. He cared for Akira. He'd come to love him as his friend, and it hurt that the older thought he'd just forget about him. Why did he even continue letting him come over if they were so destined to forget each other?

Before he gave himself the chance to do anything stupid, Takanori sat the light down and walked a few steps away. 

“Takanori? What's wrong?”

“What's wrong? Are you seriously asking that? Why am I even here? Why do you keep letting me come over when you already  _ know _ this friendship has a time limit? You should have just told me to fuck off from the beginning!” He snapped, his hands balled into fists as his side. 

Akira just stood there for a moment, seemingly dumbfounded. “I… That's not how I meant to make you feel. I'm sorry. I love being your friend. As weird as our friendship may be, I'm thankful for it. I don't by any means want it to end. I just know you're going to grow up and go out into a much bigger world than you've seen here and things change. I don't ever want you to feel bad if or when they do. I won't talk about it again though. Okay? Please don't be angry with me.”

It wasn't the sensible thing to do. In fact it was the complete opposite, but Takanori stepped forward, wrapping his arms around Akira's waist and hugging him tight. They'd never had this much contact before and he could feel the blond stiffen under his hold. Eventually though, as if knowing Takanori wasn't going to let go, Akira hugged him back, strong arms around his shoulders. It felt good, though he knew it was for all the wrong reasons on his part, and he took just a moment to truly appreciate what he'd probably never be allowed to touch again. The solid chest beneath his ear, the warm, rainy smell that clung to the other man, the way he felt completely and totally safe. 

All too soon it was over and Akira had pushed him back to arm's length. “You okay?” He asked quietly and Takanori would have given anything to see if his gaze was as sympathetic as his voice.

“Yeah, I'm fine. I'm- I'm sorry I yelled at you.”

Long fingers brushed the hair from his face; a gesture far more intimate than Takanori ever expected from the blond. “Do you wanna go inside? I can finish this later.”

Takanori shook his head, his hand unconsciously moving to the place where Akira's hand had grazed his cheek. “No, I'd rather stay out here.”

The blond only nodded and handed him back the flashlight. He liked that about Akira. If they had an argument, most of the time the older man didn’t like conflict, so instead of saying anything else he’d just change the subject and move on like nothing had happened. Takanori could appreciate that quality, it kept things from getting awkward. Besides, he hated fighting with anyone. 

Takanori was content. Unbelievably content. If Yuu could see him right now, covered in grease, his head under the hood of the car, the raven wouldn’t believe his own eyes. He’d probably ask if Takanori had fallen into the engine. Maybe he wasn’t technically inclined, but he truly enjoyed spending time like this with Akira; listening to the blond rattle on about this and that. He wasn’t exactly learning anything. Well, anything beyond the fact that he truly loved Akira’s voice. 

“Hey, um… Aki? Can I ask you something personal? I promise it’s not about your face.”

Akira let out a rather unattractive snort. “Go ahead. I’m an open book; for the most part.” 

Takanori sat on a bale of straw near the car. “Will you tell me about the girl in the photo on the fireplace? The one with the red hair? Is she your sister?”

“My sister? No, no. I don’t have a sister. That uh, that is Gina. She was my fiance.”

That was...exactly what he didn’t want to hear. He knew Akira must have had girlfriends in the past, but a fiance? He was going to get married? “Um. What happened to her?”

“You’re awfully curious today. She and I had differing opinions on what job I should take after high school.”

Takanoir’s ears perked up. It sounded like maybe he was going to actually get some of Akira’s history out of this question. “Oh? And what were these differing opinions?”

Akira sighed, wiping his hands on a rag and leaned back against the front of the car. “So… you  _ want  _ me to explain all of this to you, don’t you?” Takanori nodded. “Fine. Okay. So I was born in Portland. My parents were married at that point. My dad had a good government job so my mom didn’t really have to work. It was nice from what I remember. My mom and I spent most of the days together. Just after my fifth birthday my dad ran off with another woman and left my mom and I to fend for ourselves. My mom had never worked a real job since they’d been together since high school. She got two jobs, made enough money to keep us going since she wouldn’t allow me to work while I was in school. I… didn’t want her to have to work like this anymore, and she was already planning to get another job to help me pay for college.”

The blond paused for a second. It seemed talking about his mother was upsetting him. Takanori almost told him he didn’t have to continue, but Akira started talking again before he could open his mouth. 

“Anyway, I wanted to go to school for engineering. So I did the one thing that could guarantee someone like me a scholarship. I decided to join the army. I met Gina my sophomore year. It was love at first sight, as cheeky as that sounds. When I made the decision to enlist, I told Gina about it and asked her to marry me before I left for basics. At first she seemed to be all for it. She said yes, and things seemed to be on track for the better part of our senior year. It wasn’t until after Christmas that she decided she couldn’t handle the thought of me going. Gina wanted me to choose between the army and her. I’m sure you can guess what choice I made. So I lost my fiance.”

“Aki, I'm-”

“Don't say it Taka. It's fine. I did what I felt was right. I have no regrets.”

Takanori frowned. The blond seemed so honest with that statement but how could he? Losing his love like that? 

“How did you end up here then? Since you're obviously not in the army anymore, and I know you won't tell me about that.”

“You're right about that.” Akira snickered. “While I was at camp, I got word that my mom had been in an accident. A semi truck had t boned her car at an intersection. She died on impact. I was released for the funeral planning then went back. I finished training and when I came home, I found out through my mother's will that my grandfather had left this house for me. My life in Oregon was over and I knew a normal job wasn't in my future, so I moved out here to try and put my life back together. It was going pretty good until I met this little brat of a kid who keeps pulling me back from the edge of depression. Damn him.”

Takanori caught on to that last part and got up to smack Akira’s shoulder. “You're damn lucky I exist you egghead. I'm the best thing that's ever happened to you.” He joked, hands on his hips.

Akira grinned, reaching out to poke him in the side. “You probably are. I'll give you that one. You ready to go inside and eat? I think I'm starving.”

So dramatic. Takanori rolled his eyes, following Akira out to the house. “I'm glad you moved here Aki. I'm glad I met you.”

“Me too, Taka.” 

He was far too busy appreciating the backside of his friend to catch the little frown on his lips as they entered the house and started gathering things for an early dinner. Akira was more quiet than normal as they cooked. Usually he could hold a whole conversation by just himself, but Takanori figured talking about his past had worn him down a bit. It made him feel a bit guilty for making him confess it all. 

“Akira, let me finish putting the potatoes in the oven. Why don't you go sit down and rest for awhile?” He advised, nudging the other away from the sink. 

“What are you saying? I'm fine.”

“I can tell your knee is hurting. Just let me finish this for you. Come on, just go sit down and I'll bring you something to drink. Do it for my health.”

Akira rolled his eyes, but handed him the scrubby. “Alright. You win just this once. It's just the weather getting colder. Thank you, Taka.” For a moment Takanori thought the other was going to lean in to kiss his hair, but he just smiled and left the kitchen. 

After scrubbing the last of the potatoes he grabbed the big mug Akira always used and filled it with iced tea, taking it out to the living room. Sure enough Akira had his leg propped up on the little footstool they'd built together, messaging the sides of his knee. Takanori wished there was something he could do, but was constantly told there wasn't. 

“For you.” He said, holding out the mug for him. “It might feel better if someone else does that, you know?” 

“Thank you. Eh, wouldn't that be kind of awkward?” The blond asked, taking the tea. “Besides, I've been done with physical therapy for a long time. I doubt a masseuse would be interested in putting their hands on my fucked up knee.”

“I was talking about me, Aki. I give my mom and Kouyou shoulder messages all the time. Maybe I can help you too. You could at least let me try. I've got about twenty minutes to spare.”

He just knew Akira would protest, so he didn't give him a choice. Takanori gently lift the other's foot and sat down on the stool, letting it rest on his thigh. He wanted to see what he was dealing with but figured it better not to push, instead he put his fingers where he'd seen Akira do it before and gently pressed into his skin through his jeans. Akira was tense at first but slowly began to relax and Takanori worked towards the back of his leg with his fingertips. Before long he heard soft snores and realized his friend had actually dozed off. It felt like a person triumph. Takanori decided to let him sleep a bit while he finished dinner. He couldn't keep the happy grin off his face as he hummed to himself. This felt so good. Akira was starting to really trust him and Takanori cherished that fact. 

Later on that evening when it was time to head home he caught Akira giving him a weird look. Like he wanted to say something but was too embarrassed to do so. 

“Out with it. What is it you want to say?” Takanori tried to coerce the blond as he picked up his backpack and slung it over his shoulder. 

Akira kind of shuffled his feet and fidgeted with his fingers. “I just wanted to say thank you. You were amazing today. Thank you for putting me in my place and not taking no for an answer.” 

Takanori couldn't stop himself. He reached out, brushing his fingers through that soft blond hair. “I'm here anytime you need me Aki. You're my friend. I take care of my friends.”

The other caught his hand and gave it a small squeeze. “Be safe and let me know when you make it home.”

“I will. I promise.”

A few blocks from his house he got a text message and squinted at the bright screen to read it.

**From: Yuu**

**We're about ten minutes from home. My parents are out of town, mind if I stay at yours tonight?**

_ Talk about good timing. _

**From: Takanori**

**Of course not. I'll be here. Just come upstairs.**

**From: Yuu**

**Will do. I know it's kind of late, but I want to tell you something when I get there.**

For a moment Takanori's heart went crazy. Had Yuu somehow figured out about Akira? It didn't seem plausible. The raven would have said something before now, right? So what could possibly have his friend acting so serious? 

Half an hour later his bedroom door opened and Yuu, already in a t-shirt and polka dot sleep pants, creeped in. The other boy looked like head trying not to break into the biggest shit eating grin and failing. 

“So what did you want to tell me? I've been in such suspense since your text.” Takanori whispered, pulling Yuu down onto the bed beside him. 

Then the queerest thing happened. Yuu blushed. The cutest dusting of pink crossing his cheeks. How adorable was that?? 

“I um, remember when I told you I'm mainly into girls? Well, last time we went to the city I met this boy at a coffee shop downtown. He's a barista there. We got to talking when he was on break because we're applying to the same school this year. That can't just be a coincidence right? He's... beautiful, Taka. Looking at him is like staring directly into the sun and I don't ever want to look away. Today while Kou and Yuta were busy I met up with him again. We went to this big park and fed the ducks and I've never been so happy. I think… I think I'm in love with him Taka. He asked if he could come visit me here next month. Would you meet him?”

Honestly, could this day get any better?

Takanori tackled his friend back on to the bed, laughter bubbling up from his chest. “Yuu, you romantic buttercup, of fucking course I'll meet him. We all will. I'm so happy for you. I can't wait to meet your sunshine.”

Instead of being the regular smart ass he usually was, Yuu hugged him tight. “You're my best friend. I gotta make sure you approve, right?”

“Hell yes you do. I'll give him a good inspection to make sure he's good enough for my big dummy!”

“Oh shut the fuck up and go to sleep before you wake your mother.” 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new character is introduced and Akira finally opens up.

Yuu had been right. Though Takanori would never admit to that if anyone asked. This boy he'd met in the city, Kazuki, was literal sunshine; second only to Yutaka. The boy's hair was bright red on top with black underneath and he had piercings in his bottom lip and ears. He was very much Yuu's type. Flamboyant and beautiful with dark chocolate eyes you could just drown in. He was bubbly and smiled a lot which in turn made Yuu smile and Takanori felt so happy to see his friend like this. Yuu literally couldn’t pry his eyes away from the other boy. He’d never seen the raven like this before, not with any of his girlfriends. 

Once Yuu and Kazuki had arrived in town, the group of them had decided to meet up for lunch at their favorite pizza joint, but now they’d destroyed several pizzas and were just hanging out. The owner didn’t mind when they stayed, it wasn’t like the place was ever very busy anyway. Takanori had to admit his friend’s did a wonderful job at keeping him involved, despite him being the fifth wheel. Yutaka and Kouyou were always like this, never letting him feel like the odd man out, but he was surprised by how well Kazuki seemed to fit in with them. 

“So, Kazuki, you’re applying to the same school as Yuu? Do you want to be a music teacher too?” Yutaka asked, his eyelids heavy with sleep from eating so much. He’d leaned back against Kouyou’s shoulder, the blond holding him around the waist. 

Kazuki shook his head, a fond expression on his face. “I think someone ate too much. No, I couldn’t teach. I’ll leave that to Yuu. No, I’m going to digital design. I want to make video games. Or at least part of them.”

“Oh!” Yuu piped up. “Takanori is going to San Francisco for design too, but he’s more into frilly lingerie.”

“Oi! I’ll be designing whatever skimpy, sexy thing Kazuki wears on your honeymoon!”

Kouyou and Kazuki were cackling while Yuu looked absolutely horrified. “Takanori you can’t just say things like th-”

“What color do you think it would be? Whatever you design for me?” Kazuki asked, scooting around the booth until he was closer to him. 

Takanori put his finger to his chin, taking in Kazuki’s milky skin and imagining what he would look like with natural dark brown hair. “I think for you I’d go with a dark blue. Maybe something part velvet. Something soft to match your skin, and dark to match your eyes. I’d fix your hair up with a matching ribbon, leaving some of it to hang around your face. You’d look beautiful. I doubt Yuu would be able to breathe properly.”

The red haired turned to face his boyfriend. “What do you think Yuu? Would I look good in something like that? Yuu? Takanori I think you broke my boyfriend.” He said, waving his hand in front of the raven’s face. Sure enough, Yuu was just sitting there...staring into space. It took a few moments, but he finally shook himself out of it. 

“I- I don’t think we should talk about that right now. Um, anyway…”

The conversation started up again, but Takanori stayed out of it. He took the opportunity to check his phone. There were a couple of texts from Akira. Nothing important, but it made him smile nonetheless. 

**From: Akira**

**Good Morning Taka.**

**The storm clouds are rolling in. Have you been outside? I love storms.**

**From: Takanori**

**I haven’t been out in awhile. We’re at Marta’s for lunch. You want me to save you some? I’m not a fan of storms. When I was little the thunder would scare me so I’d go hide in my mom’s room. Good morning by the way. **

It was strange. Ever since Akira had told him more about his past things between them had changed. It seemed as if there wasn’t such a thick wall between them now. The older man was being more open with him. He seemed even more relaxed. 

**From: Akira**

**You’re afraid of thunder? I’m glad you’ll be with your mom this weekend then. Maybe wherever she’s going the storm won’t be as bad. Hm. I haven’t had pizza in a long time. We’ll have to have some delivered sometime. Do you like Yuu’s boyfriend? You know, it’s been eight days, Tally is starting to miss you.**

**From: Takanori**

**Tally huh? Are you sure she’s the one missing me? It doesn’t make you less of a man to admit you miss me Aki :P We should order in some night. I like him well enough. He’s nice and very sweet. Yuu’s head over heels in love with him for sure. Actually...I’m not going with my mom. She’ll be gone all weekend. Yuu will be with Kazuki in the city, and Yutaka is going with Kouyou and his parents out of town. I’ll be home all alone in the storm. Alllllll alone. What if I get scared and there’s no one to save me?**

Takanori bit his lip, trying his best not to break out in a shit eating grin. This was...new. Akira missed him. Was that a step in the right direction? Or was he still just being a delusional teenager? It took the blond just long enough to reply that he was beginning to think he'd gone too far again with the teasing. 

**From: Akira**

**Psh. I'm not afraid of being vulnerable. I've never been one of those guys. I do miss you. I feel like I'm going to be arrested for even suggesting it, but Taka, do you want to stay with me tomorrow night? I'll change the sheets on my bed for you and take the sofa for the night. If you're really worried about the storm then please come stay with me.**

**From: Takanori**

**I miss you too Aki. I've been so busy and I've missed coming to your house. It feels like I haven't been home in eight days. Unless it would make you terribly uncomfortable, I'd like to stay with you. But I'm taking the sofa. You're too old for that.**

**From: Akira**

**You're such a little shit. Yes, I want you to come spend the night. We'll make hot chocolate and wait out the storm. That's what my mom used to do for me. And if it does get bad, I'll take you out to my favorite place. I'll see you tomorrow but I'll leave you to your friends now. Enjoy the rest of your day. **

“Who are you texting over here? You're whole face just lit up like a Christmas tree. Are you seeing someone?” 

Takanori panicked, trying to turn his screen off but managing to drop his phone on the ground. Kazuki apologized, reaching down to grab it for him. 

“I'm sorry. I didn't mean to spook you. Here.”

“It's okay. No, I'm not seeing anyone. I was just talking to my mom. I don't date. Maybe once I graduate and settle down in a good job, then I'll start dating.”

Kazuki frowned. “You really want to wait that long? What if you met your special person and wrote them off because you haven't found that job yet? Ah, I'm sorry. You don't even know me and I'm being so nosey!”

“No!” Takanori said, a bit too loudly. “No, Kazuki, you're right. I should be more open to the idea. Just in case. I want someone to look at me like Yuu looks at you, but I'm willing to wait if it doesn't happen soon.”

The other boy seemed pacified with his answer because he turned back to the conversation Yuu was having Kouyou. Yutaka had fallen asleep finally, and Takanori could feel himself getting drowsy as well. He really needed to get up and move around. 

“Hey Taka, I'm going to take Kou and Yuta back to my house and show Kazuki around town a bit. Do you want to stay with them or with us?” Yuu asked.

“Oh I'll stay with them. I'm about to fall asleep over here. A nap sounds good.” He replied, finally getting up from the booth. 

By the time they were settled back at Yuu's house, Takanori's mind was swirling. He turned on the TV for background noise while his friends curled up together on the sofa. He couldn't help but think about everything Kazuki had said. Honestly he didn't feel like he was lonely, but it made him wonder if the feelings he had for Akira didn't stem from some kind of loneliness. His friends had found someone to be with, even if didn't last forever, yet he hadn't. Could his attachment to Akira be all because he was afraid to feel alone when his friends weren't around? 

He didn't want to believe that. The emotions he felt around the older man were far too strong. Takanori only wished he could read Akira better. He wanted to see his face, watch the expressions change, see the emotion in his eyes. Maybe this weekend would be a good chance to ask because it was killing him not knowing how the blond felt. How was he supposed to know how the other felt if he always remained so stoic when anything serious was brought up? Takanori just needed to see. 

________________________

“You're sure you'll be alright here on your own all weekend with the storm coming?”

Takanori rolled his eyes, washing up the last of the breakfast dishes. His mom was getting ready to leave and was worrying over him as usual. 

“Yes Mom, I'll be fine. I'm going to stay in and get a jump start on some homework. You don't need to worry about me just this once. Go to your seminar and enjoy a bit of a break. Go on, you're going to waste your whole free day here. I'll help you take your bags to the car.” He said, grabbing the handle to her suitcase. “Remember to text me when you get there.”

His mother laughed. “Now who's the mom. I will, don't worry.”

As soon as his mother's car disappeared from the driveway, Takanori took off upstairs to his room at a dead run. He usually didn't care so much about how he looked but this time he'd have the whole weekend, just him and Akira. He wanted to make sure he caught the other's eye. This was his best chance to figure out whether the blond had feelings for him or not. 

He tore through his closet and settled on a pair of grey skinny jeans, a long sleeved black and white striped shirt that showed off maybe a bit too much collarbone. The ends covered his hands too but that was fine because it was warm. Finally, he threw on a pair of black knee high boots. In the bathroom mirror he applied a little liner to his eyes and brushed out his hair. He'd decided not to straighten it all this time, letting it curl and wave however it wanted. For once, even he had to admit he looked fairly hot. After gathering an overnight bag, he locked the house and started down the road. Honestly he wanted to run, but he could be patient right?

Takanori didn't bother knocking on the front door, he'd given that up long ago, and entered the house. The living room and kitchen were empty, as well as Akira's bedroom. The blond had turned a spare room into his room so he didn't have to use the stairs as much. He found Akira upstairs in the old bedroom, sitting in the big bag window, a giant book in his lap. He didn't even look up when Takanori walked in. 

“Aki? What are you reading?” He asked softly so as not to startle the older man. 

Akira finally looked up at him, a smile on his face before it fell, his lips parting on an inhale, and Takanori knew dressing up had been worth it. Now of all times he just wished he could see Akira's eyes. 

“Taka...you look uh, um.” Was he really being so bashful? He actually coughed to clear his throat. “You look cute today.”

Takanori widened his eyes, putting his hands to his cheeks and using his best southern belle impression. “Why, Mr. Suzuki, you'll make a girl blush.” He said, turning his head away just a bit, but he caught the way the other man ducked his head with a grin. 

“Stop that Taka. Geez. I just meant that you look nice all dressed up. No offense to your friends, but I just don't play for their team.”

That hurt. It shouldn't, but it did. Takanori didn't let it show though. The way Akira looked at him sometimes gave him reason to doubt the other's claim. Sure, he'd almost married a girl, but people changed. What worried him now was what Akira would do if he realized Takanori was just like his friends. 

“Akira...do my friends being gay make you uncomfortable?” He asked, his gaze now trained on the floor.

“What?” Akira shut the book and turned towards him. “Takanori, have I ever said anything to give you that idea? I don't have a problem with them liking guys at all. I'm not a homophobe. Where is this even coming from?”

“Because I'm scared that you won't accept me either.” 

Silence. Dead silence. 

Takanori could feel himself start to shake. He didn't want to cry, but the rejective quiet left him feeling so empty. The white noise in his ears and most in his eyes blinded him to the fact that Akira had moved until those strong arms were around him once again. 

“Taka. You don't- I don't care what you are, who you love, what you do. You're my friend. Of course I accept you.”

A breath of relief fell from his lips and his hands gripped the blonde's shirt. “Only my friends know. I haven't even told my mother. She'd be... disappointed in me.”

“I don't think that's true. Your mother is a wonderful person. She loves you. She could never be disappointed in you. She will accept you just as I do. Thank you for telling me Taka.” He replied, rubbing his hands up and down his back. 

“Does this...change things?” 

Akira shook his head. “Not in the slightest. You're still my best friend, I still care about you, and you're still spending the weekend with me.”

Takanori lifted his head. “Thank you Aki. You have no idea how much it means for you to say that.” He smiled, wiping at his now probably ruined makeup. “So, what were you reading?”

“Ah, it's about World War I. Very interesting.” He answered, going to pick the book back up. “You can borrow it if you want.”

“Uh, maybe sometime. You read war books even after…?”

“Getting kicked out? Yeah, it's always been something interesting to me. Anyway, before it starts pouring, you wanna go for a drive? You can laugh at me hobbling down the stairs first.”

Takanori broke out in a fit of giggles just picturing that. “Oh, I do love watching you try to get down the stairs. Don't worry, I'll catch you. You're really gonna take me for a drive? In the truck?”

“Of course the truck.” Akira grabbed his crutch from beside the door and left the room. The weather must have been causing some discomfort because he knew how stubborn the blond was about using it. “I like to drive around before storms. We can't...drive into town, but I'd still like to go.”

“I'm up for it. And when we get back, I'll make us that cocoa and get you a heating pad. Are you sure you should drive?” He asked, staying just ahead of the blond. 

Akira scoffed. “Stop babying me Taka.”

Takanori stopped, turning to look up at him. “I'm not babying you Akira. I care about you. I don't want you in unnecessary pain. You're willingly using the crutch, so I know you're hurting more than usual. Why can't you just let me take care of you sometimes? It makes me happy to help you. Don't you want me to be happy?”

Akira was frowning. He could tell by the slight crease the middle of his forehead. “I can take care of myself. I'm the adult here, after all.”

“I- Fine. I quit then. You don't need help from a  _ child _ anyway.” He all but hissed the word before turning on his heel and leaving the blond alone. Outside the clouds were darkening and it felt unusually warm. Takanori wrapped his arms around himself. What he'd said was so wrong. He  _ did _ want to take care of Akira, but was it for the right reasons? Did he just want the older man to need him? Akira had a point. He'd been taking care of himself for years. And he...was a child. 

When the screen door behind him opened Takanori felt guilty eating at him. 

“I didn't mean to-”

“I'm sorry. Akira, I'm sorry. You're right. You're an adult and if you needed my help you'd ask. I'll stop trying to micromanage you. Okay?” Takanori asked, not daring to look at his friend.

“That's not completely true though, is it?” Akira’s voice was quiet. “I don't like to feel weak. That's the worst part about an injury like this. And sometimes I push myself too much. I need someone to tell me I'm an idiot. I do need your help. When we get home, I'll let you do what you said. And I didn't mean to allude to you being a child Taka. I don't see you that way.”

Takanori shook his head. “I am though. The way I just acted? Sometimes I am childish. You don’t need to apologize either. Let’s just call it even. Let’s get going before it starts to rain!” Akira seemed relieved and honestly, so was Takanori. They shouldn’t fight over something like this. 

The old truck was nothing like he’d expected. It wasn’t some dusty old farm truck. No, Akira apparently kept his vehicle just as clean as he did his house. There was even an underlying lemon smell that must have come from the cleaner he used. Takanori loved it. The bench seat was made of worn leather that was warm from the earlier sunshine and he sat himself towards the middle despite Akira’s questioning look. 

“Well, get in here Hobbles. We don’t have all day.” He teased, leaning over to roll down his window. 

“Fuck you Taka.” 

“I’m not old enough for that yet, remember?”

The older man grumbled to himself as he climbed into the ruck, rolling the other window down before starting it up. He loved the way it sounded like it was seconds away giving up and shook a bit as it came to life. They didn’t talk much; Akira pointing out a few things here and there, but overall the ride was peaceful. He’d never really spent much time focusing on the landscape whenever he and his mom or Yuu had traveled to the city. Usually his nose was stuck in a sketchbook, but Akira made him want to experience more. Made him want to see more of life around him. He wanted to see the world through the strangely optimistic gaze the blond seemed to possess. They’d been out for a little over half an hour when the first raindrop started their pitter-patter on the windshield. When Akira broke the silence, suggesting they head back to the house, Takanori wanted to tell him to just pull off into a field and they could stay there for the night, but he knew that wasn’t safe. So he just nodded, scooting back on the bench seat until he could rest his back against Akira’s shoulder, pulling his knees up to his chest. 

“Taka? You okay?”

“Mhm. I just realized something. For the first time I’m out in the storm and I’m not...nervous. I’m not scared of it.” Akira didn’t reply to his confession, but he did move his arm to wrap it around his chest, squeezing his shoulder. Takanori held on to him with both hands and just breathed. 

By the time they made it back to the house, the rain was coming down so hard they could barely hear each other speak. Akira took one look out the window and started laughing, the sound deep and so genuine Takanori couldn’t help the laughter bubbling up his own throat. It was one of those moments where nothing was funny at all but the release of emotion felt too good to stop and before either of them could get a grip there were tears on his cheeks. 

“We- we’re gonna have to make a run for it you know? Why don’t you go for it? I’m gonna get drenched either way.” 

Takanori shook his head. “No way. I'm with you all the way. It's just rain, right? You won't melt. I promise you that.” He teased and Akira finally opened the door. He stayed with the blond even as the rain poured down on them. He lost himself in the smile on Akira’s lips, his laughter. 

“You look like a drowned rat Aki!” He laughed, holding on to the front of his friend's soaked through shirt. 

“You might wanna look at yourself in a mirror before calling me names. Did you bring extra clothes? I probably have something you can borrow if not. Let’s just throw this wet mess straight into the washer so your things are clean when you go home.” Akira kept rattling on but all Takanori could focus on was the slightly tanned skin that came into his view as Akira yanked his shirt off. Rivulets of water ran down from his hair to his chest, drips Takanori wanted to catch with his tongue. He knew the blond spent a good amount of time working out, but he’d never seen the evidence of it and now all he could do was stare. Especially as the other stipped out of jeans, turning to toss his clothes into the washer. Trying to focus anywhere else, he ended up glancing at the blonde’s knee. He really couldn’t straighten it, could he? The whole top was covered in scars too. Whatever happened must have been quite painful and it hurt Takanori just to know Akira had gone through anything like that. 

“Do you wanna throw yours in?”

Takanori’s eyes snapped back up, seeing his own blushing face reflected in Akira’s glasses. “Oh, uh, yeah of course. I just...I’m not as comfortable taking my clothes off as you are, apparently.”

Akira frowned, then looked down at himself. “Oh. I'm sorry Taka. I wasn't thinking. Just...turn around okay?”

He wasn't quite sure what that was going to help, but Takanori turned around nonetheless. He could tell from the sound that Akira had grabbed his crutch again and was headed for his bedroom. “Sorry, I didn't mean for you to see all of that. Just yell whenever you're done, I'll stay in my room till then.” He said before the door closed and he was left alone. 

Takanori sighed. He hadn't meant to make the other feel bad. Honestly knowing how ashamed Akira was of how he looked, Takanori was thrilled to see him being so comfortable in his own skin. Maybe he could tell him that. Would Akira want to hear that from another man though? Would it only make him more uncomfortable?

After stripping out of his clothes and throwing them into the washer, he dug through his bag for his sleep shorts but decided to leave his shirt in the bottom. Wrapping the towel around himself, he knocked on Akira's door. 

“Hey Aki? Uh, could I borrow a shirt to sleep in? I guess I forgot mine.” 

The door opened without word and Akira was on the other side, roughing a towel over his hair. “Take whatever you want from the closet. I’m gonna get the stuff out for cocoa. Again, I’m sorry about undressing in front of you. I know it’s kind of nasty to look at. That’s why I don’t eve-”

Takanori held his hand up to stop the other from continuing. “Are you talking about your knee? Akira don’t be dumb. The only reason I was uncomfortable was because you’re built like a Greek statue and I couldn’t stop staring at you. Don't assume things. Okay?”

Akira just stared at him like a deer caught in the headlights. He tried to stutter out a response but a quick blush bloomed across what Takanori could see of his cheeks and he just nodded, turning away to leave the room. Takanori decided to let him go, making his way into the blonde’s closet. He would never admit it but he spent a good amount of time pressing his face into the row of shirts before pulling a baby blue one off the rack and slipping it on over his head. It completely covered his shorts, but was soft and smelled like Akira.

It came as a surprise but Akira actually sat down at the table and wrote a little music while Takanori followed his mother’s recipe for white chocolate mint cocoa. Once it was finished Akira insisted on showing him something upstairs, so he’d grabbed their mugs and followed him all the way up to the attic. 

“Aki? What are we doing?”

The blond didn’t answer, instead pushing a button on the wall. He heard a mechanical whirring before looking up to watch a shade slide off a giant skylight built into the ceiling. Outside the storm raged on, flashes of lightning illuminating the whole room. It was strange, storms still scared the hell out of him, but seeing it from safe behind the glass like this he didn’t feel so worried. 

“I like to sleep up here when it storms.” Akira said, pulling the cushions off the sofa that sat situated under the skylight. 

“Wait. You want to...both of us sleep up here?”

The blond stopped. “No, of course not. I thought we could just stay up here for awhile and watch the storm. I made up my bed for you, so whenever you get tired you can go downstairs.”

“Oh. Of course. Sorry.” Takanori waited until the bed was pulled out and heaped with blankets before handing the drinks to Akira and crawled in with him. “This is nice. I like watching storms, they just make me a bit nervous.”

Akira smiled. “I’m the same way. The noise...sometimes gets to me. Oh Taka, you made this perfectly. Thank you.” 

Takanori didn’t even notice the time that had gone by. They’d both laid back, watching the rain and lightning, talking and laughing. It truly was the perfect night. Especially when Akira finally dozed off. Takanori sat for an hour just watching the older man sleep. Everything in his being was screaming for him to reach out and pull those sunglasses off the other’s face. He wanted to watch Akira sleep, wanted to watch his expressions change as he dreamt. Maybe…no. He couldn’t do that. He couldn’t just invade his friend’s privacy like that. Instead he scooted down into the mass of blankets and settled on his side. There was a chance that Akira may be angry at him for staying in the same bed come morning, but it was worth it.

_____________________

The sunlight was even more beautiful than the storm had been and Takanori lay staring out the skylight at the oranges and reds of early morning. This truly had been the best night of his life. He turned to see the rays of light filtering across Akira’s face. At least the parts that weren’t hidden behind messy blond hair. 

Before he could tell himself again how wrong it was, he reached out to push the sunglasses up off his face. Takanori barely got a glimpse of black lashes before Akira was suddenly sitting up, his hands being slapped away. 

“Takanori? What the hell are you doing? What the fuck?!”

“I- Akira, I-” He stopped. He’d never heard Akira yell. Never seen him so angry. “I’m sorry! I just...I just wanted to see. Come on. Hasn’t it been long enough?”

“Long enough for what? For you to finally see if the rumors are true? Is that why you’re here? Why you’ve been spending so much time with me? You want a glimpse at the monster then run back to your friends and tell them I finally gave in?”

“What? Akira no! I just want to see your face! I want to be able to read your expression; to know what you’re feeling.” 

“I’m feeling annoyed!”

“Akira stop!” Takanori finally raised his voice as the blond stood from the bed. He got up too, grabbing for Akira’s hands and making him sit back down. “Stop this. You can’t truly believe that I am here for that shit. I’m here because I love spending time with you. I love being around you. Hell, Aki I love you. You’ve become one of my best friends. Don’t you trust me?”

His friend stared up at him from behind dark lenses. 

“Taka...what if it changes things?” He murmured, hands falling to his knees. 

Takanori stepped closer between the other’s knees, lifting his hands to settle on the tie of the cloth mask. “Nothing is going to change. I swear it. Please, just trust me.”

Akira nodded but didn’t move. Taking that as permission enough, he loosened the knot, letting the material fall from Akira’s face. Takanori wasn’t sure what he’d been preparing himself for but this hadn’t been it. The only thing maring an otherwise perfect face was what looked like white freckles dotting across the blonde’s nose. The scarring was so minimal but he wouldn’t down play the other’s insecurities. Stealing himself, he gently pulled the dark sunglasses off too, laying them on the bed. Akira had his eyes closed, but Takanori smiled, finally seeing the long lashes resting against blushing cheeks. 

“Aki, baby, open your eyes. Let me see.”

The blond took a deep breath and slowly lifted his lids. Takanori tried his best not to react but...it was more difficult than he’d expected. While the scarring on his face hadn’t been as bad as he’d expected, his eyes...were a bit more to take in. His right eye was beautiful, clear, a dark almost reddish brown. The left, though he could see what color should be there, it was covered by a milky almost bluish film. 

“You...can’t see out of it at all, can you?”

Akira shut his eyes again, turning his head down. “No. It’s completely useless. I told you, you didn’t want to see.”

Takanori cupped the blonde’s face, forcing him to meet his gaze. “I did. I  _ do  _ want to see. Akira your eyes are still beautiful. You’re beautiful. Don’t hide from me anymore, okay? Tell me what happened. I think it’s time.” 

He could tell Akira was still hesitant, but eventually he pulled Takanori’s hands from his face, holding them tightly in his own. 

“Not long after I finished basics I was deported. Everyone was. To the Middle East. I was nineteen and most of my time there passed rather quietly. I was just beginning my fourth month when we came back to camp and something was just...off. It turned out, somehow, someone had snuck into our camp and planted these...bombs in our barracks. They were crude and made mostly of nails and scraps of metal, but they did the job. I watched as the friends I made were killed. The shrapnel tore the hell out of my knee, scarred my face, and put a nail straight through my eye. I was lucky. Out of the fifteen of us, only three of us went home. The medical staff there did what they could. They managed to save my actual eye but I’m completely blind in it. Unfortunately they spent so much time on my eye and face that my leg got ignored. By the time I got back to the states I needed a total knee replacement, but I was so young they didn’t want to do it. So this is what I was left with. I’m alive, so I’m not complaining. I was given an honorable discharge and sent home. That’s when I came here.”

What the hell was he supposed to say? 

“Akira...I’m so sorry. I’m sorry for any negative thing I’ve ever said about you in my ignorance. I’m sorry for anything  _ anyone  _ has ever said. If people knew, maybe they would treat you with more respect.”

Akira smiled at him, a genuine smile, for the first time since they’d met and Takanori could see it reach his eyes. It was more beautiful than any sunrise he’d ever seen. He never wanted to see the blond with his face covered ever again. 

“I don’t need that. I’m fine here by myself. I am...glad I told you. Thank y-” His voice cut off and Takanori caught his bottom lip tremble just before he leaned forward, pressing his bare face against the younger’s middle. Feeling his friend’s shoulders begin to shake, Takanori brushed his fingers back through soft blond hair and tried to comfort him in the only way he knew how. God he really was in love with this man. 

“Thank you Akira, for telling me. For showing me. Please, when I’m around, don’t hide anymore. Okay?”

He received no answer, but Akira’s arms tightened around him for a moment and that’s all he needed. 

  
  
  
  
  
  



	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay new chapter! I hope everyone had a good Halloween!

Things had...changed. 

Over the past month, Takanori had found himself hanging out with his friends less and less in favor of spending time with Akira. It wasn’t like he didn’t want to see them anymore; they were all busy too. They still talked every day at school and texted, but it still felt, at least to him, that things were changing in their relationships too. Maybe this was just what growing up felt like. 

After their morning together when Akira had finally told him the whole story, it seemed as if his friend was for once, just free to be himself. He no longer wore a mask or sunglasses, at least not at home, and Takanori was so thrilled to see how happy he acted. Even if the teasing had gotten a bit out of hand. Though at least now if he made an inappropriate joke Akira just went along with it instead of chastising him. 

Akira had also become more comfortable talking about his problems and asking for help. He no longer felt ashamed that he needed to rest or let Takanori do some things for him just so he didn’t over do it. Which was how Takanori had ended up invited to the city with him. He’d just started his Thanksgiving break from school, walking home alone, when Akira had called him. 

“ _ Taka, are you out of school?” _

Takanori chuckled, shaking his head to himself. “No, I’m answering your call in the middle of an assembly. Of course I’m out of school, dummy.”

The deep laugh on the other end of the phone made him grin.  _ “I just wanted to make sure. I have a quick question for you. Since you don’t have school the rest of the week, would you have any interest in going to the city with me? I have an appointment with my opthamologist, last one for the year, and I wouldn’t mind having some company this time.” _

Akira really wanted to be stuck in the truck with him for the better part of four hours? He’d get to spend the whole day out in public with the blond? How could he possibly say no?

“Of course I’d like to go Aki. What time do I need to be at your house?”

_ “It’s not that simple Taka. You’re a minor still. If I take you out of town that’s considered kidnapping. You have to tell your mother. It’s time for you to tell her the truth, don’t you think? “ _

So that was his plan. Force Takanori into spilling the beans to his mother. He sighed, it truly had been long enough though, and Takanori did hate keeping this from his mom. She would be understanding right? “Fine. I’ll talk to her when I get home. You owe me ice cream for this though. I hope you know that.”

_ “I expected no less. Let me know how it goes. If you can that is. If she doesn’t want you talking to me anymore then please don’t Taka. I’m serious. Do what she says. If I don’t hear from you tonight then I’ll assume she didn’t take it well and I’ll leave you alone.”  _ Akira answered, but he could hear the disappointment in his voice already. 

“That’s not going to happen. Don’t spend your whole day worrying. I’ll call you later.”

_______________________________________________

“It’s nice to actually have dinner with you for once. You’ve gotten better at cooking too. This is wonderful, Takanori. Thank you.” 

Takanori was practically beaming as he sat a casserole dish on the table. It wasn’t a hard recipe, something Akira had taught him to make. Like chicken spaghetti only in a pan. He knew it would taste good at least, and he’d made cheesy garlic bread and zucchini to go with it. He supposed his cooking had improved since he’d become friends with Akira since they spent so many evenings preparing meals together. 

“You’re welcome. I’m glad you’re home tonight. There’s something I need to talk to you about.” He said, taking a seat opposite her at their little round table. “I um, I don’t like keeping things from you, so I’d like to come clean.”

His mother looked up at him, dark eyes narrowed. “I don’t like how that sounds already. Are you about to ruin dinner?”

He shook his head. “No. At least I hope not. I haven’t done anything bad or illegal, I promise. You see...I’ve made a new friend.” 

“Takanori, just spit it out okay? I’m not going to play this guessing game.”

“Okay. I’m sorry.” He said, placing his hands on the table. He just needed to breathe and tell the truth. “The night before the first game when I stayed at Yuu’s we got drunk. We were playing truth or dare and Kouyou dared Yuu to egg a house. One on the edge of town. That house that belongs to Akira Suzuki. You...know him, don’t you?”

She smiled for a moment before a frown settled on her expression again. “I do. He’s a patient I regularly attend to. You idiots egged his house? Why?”

“Because we were drunk and stupid? Anyway, I felt horrible about it so I went back the next afternoon and cleaned up the mess. Akira...invited me to stay for dinner. He seemed so lonely mom. I couldn't just leave. So I went in and we had dinner a- and we just talked. I've been...lying about where I have been spending my time when you're not home. I've been spending time at Akira’s this whole time. He wanted me to tell you, but I just...wanted it to last a little longer. I  _ really  _ like hanging out with him, mom. He's been a good friend and taught me a lot. Hell he's even taught me to cook! There's nothing creepy or weird going on either. I swear it.”

Takanori watched silently as his mother looked down at her food. Neither of them spoke for a few minutes; Takanori dying on the inside while she cut her pasta. 

“Takanori I'm not going to say that I'm not disappointed in you. We tell each other everything and this is huge to keep from me. I didn't know where you were, no one did. What would have happened if you never showed up?”

“Mom, I'm so-”

“ _ But  _ I will say that out of all the people you could have befriended this way, Akira doesn't bother me. He's a very good man. One of the best I've ever met. I would never worry about anything inappropriate happening, but Taka, please tell me you've been careful? Does anyone else know you've been spending time at his home?”

Takanori shook his head. “No, I haven't told anyone. And I'm always very careful when I go out there. I know because I'm a minor it could cause him problems. We've talked about it, trust me. I think though with your permission it would be less dangerous for him. Especially because...well, uh, he invited me to go with him to the city with him tomorrow. For a doctor's appointment. And I think I should go. It's a long drive and I could drive home so it doesn't wear him out as much. I promise I'll text you and let you know everything is okay.”

“Honestly, I agree.” She said, and the atmosphere of the kitchen seemed to relax. “I worry about him doing all that traveling alone. I'll tell you what Taka. I will give you permission to go if you tell Akira he has to come here for Thanksgiving. I hate to think of him out there alone for the holiday. He's going to protest but don't take no for an answer. Okay?” 

For a moment he wasn’t quite sure what to say. This conversation hadn’t gone how he’d expected at all, but here they were, with his mother giving him permission to hang out with Akira, even leave town with him. It felt too good to be true. 

And it still felt that way a few hours later when his mother bid him goodnight. It wasn't too late yet, but she had to work early, so he wasn’t surprised when she kissed the top of his head and left the room. As promised, Akira had kept his distance and left him alone for the evening, but Takanori was all too happy to dial in the blonde’s number. 

“Uh, this is Suzuki.”

Takanori couldn’t help but laugh. “What the hell Aki? Since when do you answer my calls like this?”

“Oh, Taka, I just thought maybe your mom was using your phone to call and curse me out. I’m glad it’s just you. Did you talk to her?” He asked, the relief evident in his voice. 

“Mhm, I did. We had a long conversation about you. She was disappointed that I had lied, and I still don’t feel good about that, but she is okay with us hanging out and being friends. She says it’s because you’re such a good person. I don’t think she would say that if she knew how much you picked on me.”

“Oh,  _ I  _ pick on  _ you _ ? I think you’re quite mistaken. I still can’t even figure out why I put up with you.” Akira teased, but he was smiling, Takanori could tell. 

“Because who else would put up with  _ you  _ in return? You love me and you know it. Anyway, I got permission to go with you tomorrow, as well as any other time you have an appointment out of town, but there’s a catch.”

“And that would be…?”

“My mom wants me to invite you over for Thanksgiving. She won’t take no for an answer Aki. You might as well just say yes.”

Akira sighed. “Taka...I appreciate her offer but I really don’t think I should. I don’t want to risk someone seeing me at your home. She has to understand that, right? It wouldn’t be good for either of you. The rumors people would start… I don’t want that. It’s okay that you can’t go with me. I’ll let you know when I get back to town, maybe we can hang out then.”

“Excuse me? Akira. Neither of us care about that. Please, I want you to come over and spend the day with us. It’ll just be the three of us and we don’t do anything fancy so it’ll be casual. Then my mom can see that we  _ are  _ friends. Please Aki…” 

A long pause. “And you’re sure no one else will be there? Thanksgiving is two days away. I’m not prepared to meet anyone else so suddenly.”

He was giving in! “I promise. You may have to meet them when you come over for Christmas though.”

Akira snorted at that. “Oh so now I’m invited for Christmas too?”

“Well, you have to meet my friends sooner or later if we’re gonna get married before I turn thirty.” Takanori teased him. This had become a running joke between them.

“Oh of course. How could I forget. Takanori do you realize how old I’ll be when your thirty? You sure you wanna marry an old man like me?” 

Takanori opened his mouth but no words came out, leaving him feeling like a fish out of water. For some reason Akira sounded so much more serious than he needed to be to continue their joke. So instead of being a smartass, he replied seriously too. 

“I’m sure. I’d much rather marry you as an old man than anyone else. I guess at this point I’m just waiting for you to ask me.”

“Be here by eight, Taka. I’ll see you in the morning. Sleep well.”

Maybe he’d said too much after all, but Akira didn’t seem angry. 

“Sweet dreams, Aki.”

_____________________________________

“So...everything’s okay?”

Akira’s brows came together in a frown. “What do you mean?”

Takanori leaned back in his seat once he was buckled in. “With your eyes.”

The blonde hadn’t said anything after leaving the doctor’s office. They’d continued to an indoor market where they’d spent probably too much time and Akira too much money, but he’d yet to say anything about the appointment and it left Takanori worried. 

His friend seemed surprised by the question. “Oh, yeah. Nothing’s changed. This was a just an end of the year check up. They were just making sure things weren’t getting any worse behind my actual eye. There’s scar tissue that they worry about, but everything’s good. I’m sorry Taka, I didn’t realize you were worrying. I should have told you.”

“It's okay. No more worrying. Why did you buy a pumpkin? Halloween is long gone.” He asked, looking into the backseat to the giant orange gourd. 

“Fresh pumpkin pie. I know your mom likes pumpkin so I thought I'd bring one over for dinner. You want to learn how to make one?”

Takanori nodded. “Of course. She'll love that Aki. I uh, I don't wanna complain but I think I'm actually starving to death. My mom gave me some money for lunch...if you wanted to go somewhere.”

Akira grinned at him. “Well, I can't let you die on my watch. I'm not letting you spend your mom's money on me though. I'll take you to my favorite cafe. As long as you're not against eating giant cinnamon rolls.”

“You better not be messing with me Akira. Cinnamon rolls aren't something to joke about. Take me to them!”

Akira delivered. Takanori was positively miserable as they had walked out of the cafe, but somehow still happy. He’d even convinced Akira to let him drive home without much fight. 

_______________

“Takanori? Honey are you dressed? Akira’s been sitting out in his truck for the past ten minutes. I think it would be better if you went and helped him than me.”

Takanori grabbed his hoodie off the back of his desk chair and yanked it over his head. What was that dumbass doing just sitting out there in the cold? He opened the door, finding his mother still on the other side looking slightly worried. 

“I’ll go get him.” He said, giving her a quick hug. “And if he tries to leave, I’ll kick his ass.”

“Taka! Watch your mouth.”

“Sorry!” He sang, heading for the front door. Sure enough the old red truck was sitting, running in their driveway. Takanori pulled the driver’s side door open and Akira startled, lifting his head from the steering wheel. “Aki, what the hell are you doing sitting out here? My mom said you got here awhile ago. Are you okay?”

The blond nodded, and Takanori realized he’d left off the strip of material usually covering his nose. It made sense, he guessed, both he and his mom knew what he looked like anyway. “I’m okay, I just can’t come in Taka. I’m sorry. Will you tell your mother thank you for me?”

Takanori squeezed in between the door and Akira. “I don't think so. You're not chickening out on me now Aki. What are you afraid of?”

“What if your mom calls the cops as soon as I go in for hanging out with her underage son?”

“Don't be ridiculous. Look, my hair is still wet from my shower. I'm gonna stand here in the cold until you come in. Will you really let me freeze to death?”

Akira let out a long breath. “You do seem to have me wrapped around your finger, don't you?” He said, turning the truck off and handing the container they'd put the pies in to him. He'd brought the crutch with him, winter must be harder on him. 

“Of course I do.” Takanori said as they walked towards the house. “Sore today?”

“Yeah, the cold is worse than rain, but I didn't want to take anything before coming over. I'll be fine for awhile. At least your mother already knows what's going on.”

“Does that mean you won't hobble up the stairs so I can show you my bed...room?” He teased, reaching for the door to hold it open for Akira. 

“Can you at least pretend to behave for awhile?”

“No. I can't. Mom! Akira's finally here!” 

Just as Akira was about to chastise him for yelling, his mom came out of the kitchen, drying her hands on a towel. “Ah Akira, it's so good to see you outside of the hospital. Here, Takanori take his coat. How are you? I'm glad you decided to come over.”

Akira was tense as he took his worn leather jacket and hung it up, so Takanori used the opportunity to squeeze his arm for just a second, a small comfort. 

“Thank you Mrs. Matsumoto. For the invitation. It's been a long time since I've had Thanksgiving with anyone but myself. I um, I brought pumpkin pie. You've said how much you like it before. Takanori actually helped make it from scratch so I hope you'll enjoy it.” 

It was strange to see Akira so nervous, and Takanori wanted to save him. 

“I'll set these in the kitchen. I'm waiting on one more thing in the oven so why don't you guys go ahead and sit down?” 

Takanori could hear his mother talking as she led Akira to the table at the other end of the kitchen. 

“I don't know what you did to my son Akira, but he got up early this morning and started cooking. I haven't lifted a finger all day. He won't even let me help.” She was saying and he heard Akira's nervous chuckle. 

“I d- I mostly cook and eat at home, so any time he's over I force him to help me cook. I'm happy to hear he's actually learning something. I enjoy teaching him though. Taka is...like a sponge. He's smart. And he sees straight through me. Let's me know when I'm being too stubborn.”

His mother laughed. “You two sound like an old married couple.” She teased as Takanori started bringing food to the table. 

“Dinner is served. Neither of us would touch it, but I know you like this green bean stuff Aki so I made sure to make you some.” He said, sitting the smaller dish down near him. Akira's smile was so bright Takanori had to force himself to look away. 

“Thank you Taka. You're always taking such good care of me.” The blond mused and he caught the almost suspicious look on his mom's face. 

“Well, somebody has too.” He joked, and quickly changed the subject to something that wouldn't get him interrogated later on. 

Takanori was surprised at how smoothly the evening went. His mother really did seem to care for Akira and knew a lot about him that was new to him. His friend didn't seem to mind talking more openly either with them. In the end his mom even convinced Akira that he had to come over for Christmas despite the fact that more people would be there. 

“Well guys this has been so nice. Akira, again, please come visit any time. You're always welcome here. Especially if you bring pie.” His mother teased, ruffling the younger man's hair much like she always did Takanori's. “I've got to be up early for work so I'm going to head to bed. You're welcome to stay though with Taka.”

Akira smiled, but stood up anyway. “It's getting fairly late, I should probably head home. Thank you for having me over and I will come by more. Be careful going to work in the morning, I think it's started snowing.”

Takanori walked over to the window and pulled the curtain aside. Sure enough a fine layer of power already covered the driveway. “He's right. The first snow of the winter. Come on Aki, I'll walk you out. Have a good night Mom!” He said and she waved to him as she headed upstairs. He watched Akira put his gloves on followed by his big coat. Takanori slipped on a hoodie figuring he wouldn't be out long enough to get too cold. 

Outside the air felt odd. Too still, almost warm, as the snowflakes gently fell to the ground. It was beautiful though and Takanori smiled as Akira put his hand out, attempting to catch the drifting flakes. Sometimes, like now, when he watched the blond he felt like he was seeing young Akira. A playful, happy,  _ free _ , younger man who hadn't been through hell and back. It made his chest ache, throat tight. He couldn't possibly understand what the older man had been through, but he could be there to comfort him at low moments. He  _ wanted  _ to be there. 

“Beautiful, isn't it? I love the first snow.” Akira mused, tucking his hand back into his pocket. 

Takanori nodded in agreement. “It is. I usually only see the snow from inside.” He tried to joke, but for some reason the moment seemed too serious for it. 

“If it continues through the night, I'll come pick you up tomorrow. We'll go for a ride. Tally and I always go out right after the first nice snow. I'd like to share that with you.” 

Butterflies fluttered their wings in his stomach. For Akira to want to share something so seemingly special with him… “I'd like that Aki. I um, I'm really happy that you came over today.”

Akira faced him then, the smile on his lips faltering slightly. “Taka, I need to tell you something. I couldn't...say it in front of your mother. Do you mind?”

“Of course not. What is it?” 

“It's just-” He cut off, inhaling a deep breath. Whatever he wanted to say, it was going to be difficult. Takanori took hold of his arm, leading him back up to the porch. 

“We shouldn't stand out in it for too long.” He explained. “Go ahead Aki. I'm listening.”

Akira bowed his head enough that the side of his good covered Takanori's view of his face. “This last year...has been hard for me. Living here alone with such minimal interaction with other people, it starts to wear on you after awhile, but it wasn’t until this year that I really started to notice. My doctor had even started talking about maybe putting me on an antidepressant to help. You know how I feel about taking pills, so of course I told them no. Your uh, your mom knows about this. Anyway, about the middle of summer I had decided to talk to my doctor again and see if the pills really could help. I have the prescription at the house, I just haven’t taken it. This...is where I was when we first met. I haven’t thought about those pills since we met. Do you understand what I’m saying Taka?”

Takanori shook his head slowly. He didn’t want to speculate. “I- not really.”

The blond chuckled, reaching out for his hands. “It’s because of you. Ever since you showed up on my porch I haven’t felt the need to take them anymore. I was falling further and further into depression and then you showed up and everything changed. You’ve made me think that maybe I should give people another chance. You...saved me Taka. Saved me from letting myself give up. I don’t know how I could ever repay you.”

Oh yeah, those were tears freezing on his cheeks. Takanori wiped his arm across his face. “You- you can make me a promise?”

Akira nodded. “Anything.”

“Promise me that when I go away for school you won’t lock yourself up in the house again. My mom...she’ll need someone to take care of, to talk to. Will you be here for her? Will you keep her company? I’ll come back. I’ll be home for Christmas and summer. She’ll tell me if you don’t do what I ask. Don’t make me come back here and kick your ass out of the house. Okay? And promise me that if you start feeling like that again that you’ll call me. Day, night, even if I’m in class or sound asleep, call me. I will be there even if I can’t physically be here. Promise me. Right now.” 

A small smile curved the other’s lips. “I promise Takanori. I do.” 

“Good, I’d hate to have to come back and-”

His words were abruptly interrupted by a soft pressure against his lips and Takanori's entire being was stunned. He felt the squeeze of Akira's hands around his own. Felt the way his head tipped back, the angle better for their lips to meet. But he was too scared to move to even kiss the man back and all too soon the pressure was gone and Akira was backing away from him. 

“I- Dammit. Taka, I'll...see you tomorrow okay? Have a good night.” 

Takanori heard the words but all he could do was stare as Akira left, truck disappearing around the corner. Why couldn't he move? This is what he'd wanted for months. So why was he crying? Why did his lungs burn? He just felt so incredibly...empty. 

_______________________

The next morning when Akira text to say he was on his way to the house Takanori huffed, tossing the phone into his bag without answering. Part of him wanted to tell the blond off. Just tell him to go back home and fuck off. But Takanori knew that wasn't an option. His heart wouldn't let him do it. Despite how confused and angry he was, he still loved the older man and that wouldn't be so easily thrown aside. 

Grabbing his thickest coat, gloves, a warm beanie and snow boots, he headed downstairs to put them in his bag. He noticed though that he had a new text, judging by the blinking blue light on the front of his phone. 

**From: Akira**

**If you want, I'll turn around. Just say the word Taka and I told you before I'd leave you alone. I can tell you're angry. Maybe it's best if we just keep our distance for awhile. **

Takanori felt as if his heart had shriveled up and fell out of his chest. This isn't what he wanted at all. As quick as his shaking hands would allow, he pressed the call button next to Akira's name. 

“Hello, Takan-”

“Please come get me. Aki, I'm sorry I ignored all your texts. I'm really sorry. I'm not angry anymore. I promise. We'll do what you said and just pretend nothing happened. I swear I won't say a word.” Takanori cut him off, the words falling like a waterfall from his lips. 

“Okay. I'll be there soon. Don't forget your coat.” Was all he replied before the line went dead again. 

Honestly, Takanori wasn't sure if he could keep that promise, but if it convinced Akira to come then it was worth it. They didn't need distance. They needed to talk, but he knew he'd have to trap his friend to get him to talk about this particular topic. 

While he waited, he sent a quick text to his mother. 

**From: Takanori**

**Hey, I'm headed over to Akira's. He's coming to get me so I don't have to walk in the snow. If it gets late, I may just stay the night there. Have a good day at work.**

**From: Mom**

**Alright. I won't look to see you tonight then. Just be safe if you're going outside. Both of you. **

Of course she would worry about Akira too. He really had the best mother on the planet. About the time he found his key to lock the door he heard Akira's truck pull into the driveway. His heart still fluttered.  _ Damn him.  _

Once they made it back to the house Akira wasted no time in getting dressed to head out to the stable. 

“I'm gonna go ahead and get her ready. Come out when you're all dressed okay?” He said, softly, as if he was afraid to speak too loudly. As if he was speaking to a wounded animal. Maybe he was. Takanori only nodded. Apparently they weren't going to talk about what happened at all. 

By the time he made it out to the stable, Takanori felt a bit like the Michelin man with how many layers he was wearing. Akira already had Tally all saddled up, running a brush along her neck. 

“Aki, I don't know if I'm gonna be able to get on the horse at all in this get up. I mean, I don't wanna be cold, but maybe I've overdone it. I can't even put my arms all the way down!” 

The blond chuckled, giving him a once over. “You look adorable though. Don't worry, I'll help you up, and it's not like we'll be running or anything. I think Tally figured out a long time ago that this old man can't ride much faster than a snail. Come here.” 

Takanori went to him willingly and let Akira help him up onto Tally's back. They never used a traditional saddle; more of just a thick blanket with stirrups. It had taken some getting used to, but eventually he'd relaxed and found it wasn't too hard to stay on. Once he was settled, Akira climbed on behind him, arms settling around him to grab the reins. Takanori held on to a bit of Tally's hair when they started forward but after a few feet Akira gathered the leather strips in one hand and wrapped the other arm around his waist. 

Akira was right. The view of the field behind his home while it was covered in fresh snow was absolutely breathtaking. And the air smelled so crisp and clean as Tally walked a little ways then stopped to sniff the powdery flakes. Takanori let go of her mane, taking Reita's free hand and covering it with his own. 

“Akira?” He questioned, voice seeming so quiet in their peaceful surroundings. 

“Hm?”

A deep breath. In and out. 

“Why did you kiss me?”

The air around them grew tense and Akira's entire being seemed so defeated. 

“Because...despite what you and your mother seem to think, I am not a good person Takanori.” He answered, tightening the reins and turning Tally back towards the house. 

“Where are we going? We've only been out a half an hour. You're not going back already, are you?” Takanori questioned but Akira ignored him, taking them back to the stable. 

It was a short ride but Takanori felt like it took an eternity, and Akira's silence made it uncomfortable. He just wanted to say something but what? His friend hadn't wanted to bring this up; had wanted to just forget the whole thing. Takanori was the one who had promised and now…

Akira still helped him off the horse. Still took the time to make sure he was okay despite the disappointment present in his expression. He didn't want to cry but he could feel the tears stinging his eyes already and though he knew what was coming next, Akira's words still cut through him like a stab to his chest. 

“Get your things from the house. I'm going to put her up then take you home.”

As much as Takanori wanted to protest, he found himself nodding, leaving the other alone with his horse. His feet felt heavier than normal as he traipsed through the snow and into the house. His things were still sitting on the sofa where they always did so he grabbed the bag and slung it over his shoulder. By the time he managed to dry his face and go back outside Akira was already opening the driver's door. He truly wasn't joking was he? Biting his lower lip to keep it from trembling, Takanori climbed into the passenger side, sitting as close to the door as possible. 

For a moment about halfway to the house Takanori thought Akira was about to reach out for him, but that hand was quickly placed back on the steering wheel. He couldn't keep it in any longer. A sob choked his throat, bringing more tears to his eyes as they pulled into his driveway. This couldn't happen! Akira couldn't just leave him hear and drive away. 

“A- Aki, please.” He managed to get out, his whole body a quivering mess. “Please don't do this. I'll do anything. I'm s-sorry I asked. I won't do it again. Please Akira, please!” Takanori turned to him now, moving closer and grabbing for his arm. 

“Takanori, please get out of the truck. Go home.”

The younger shook his head, his face now a mess from how hard he was crying, but he didn't care. He did the only thing he could think of, grabbing Akira by the collar and pressing their lips together once again. Except this time it was Akira who didn't return the gesture, instead taking ahold of Takanori's wrists and pushing him away. 

“Please...please. Aki don't make me leave. You don't want to do this. Please just talk to me. I don't want to leave!” He all but screamed, trying to get his hands away from that iron grip. 

Akira let him go only to brush a few strands of hair out of his face. “I don't want to see you again Takanori. Do not call me. Do not come to my home. We're done. Now get out of my truck.” He said so calmly it shattered whatever remained of Takanori's heart. His body shook with how much he tried to restrain himself, getting out of the vehicle and running for the door. He didn't give a fuck how pathetic be looked. It didn't matter. 

Inside, he watched through the front window as the truck disappeared and his legs finally gave out. For what seemed like hours he stayed there on the floor until there were no tears left to cry and he was left feeling like his soul had vacated his body. Empty. Broken. That's all he could think as he drug himself up to his room and locked himself in. He couldn't wrap his mind around this. What the hell was Akira so upset about? Why had he said such horrible things to him? 

What was he supposed to do now?

  
  
  



	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had to raise the chapter count because this one didn't turn out the way I planned! I hope you all like it anyway!

A week had gone by and he hadn't seen or heard from Akira. Honestly Takanori knew he wasn't hiding his disappointment well, and his friends were starting to ask questions. Getting through the school week had been tough enough without them questioning him at every turn. For the most part Yutaka had left him alone, trying to avoid his bad mood, and Yuu was hovering as usual but not asking any questions. 

Kouyou, however, was asking too many questions and by the end of the week, the blond had decided he'd be staying the weekend with him despite Takanori’s many protests. 

“I don’t know why you insist on staying with me. Wouldn’t you rather be with Yutaka tonight? I can guarantee I won’t be as entertaining as he would be.” Takanori said, throwing his backpack under his desk before unceremoniously flopping down on his bed. 

Kouyou only sighed, setting his things down much more gently. “Because you look like you need a friend today. You’ve been too moody lately and we’re starting to worry about you Taka. Besides, Yutaka’s parents caught us kissing in his room the other day and now whenever I’m over there we’re forced to stay in the living room where we can be supervised, and if I spend the night I have to sleep on the sofa! They even went so far as to ask my parents to do the same. They of course said they would, but don’t actually follow through with it.”

“Your parents know you’re basically adults. Besides, it’s not like you can get Yutaka pregnant or anything, so what would they have to worry about? By the way… have you two...you know?”

The blond blushed like crazy, looking very much like a tomato, but shook his head. “We haven’t. You know how Yuta is. Everytime I try to go a little further than just kissing he gets all giggly and ticklish and pushes my hands away. Honestly, he’s just not ready and that’s okay. I don’t mind waiting. It’s not like I’m not nervous too, you know? But I know it’s gonna be worth it so I’ll let him take as long as he needs.” 

Takanori pushed himself up to sit on the edge of the bed. “You’re a good guy Kou. I’m glad that it’s you he’s with. And don’t worry, I won’t tell Yuu. Although I think he’s too busy picking on me for never being kis-”

Kouyou frowned at his sudden inability to speak. “Taka? You okay?”

“Y-yeah, of course. I just- I’ll be right back.” He answered, leaving the bedroom in favor of the bathroom down the hall. What he’d said wasn’t true at all, was it? He had been kissed now. By the only person he ever wanted to kiss again. Takanori sat down on the floor, back pressed against the cabinet that held all their towels. He felt sick, his stomach turning as he once again replayed the last time he and Akira had been together through his head. No matter how hard he tried, he just couldn’t come up with a reason why Akira would just dump him off like that. They had talked about so many uncomfortable topics before, why was this any different? Why couldn’t he just tell him what was wrong and let Takanori try to fix it? Because honestly, at this point, Takanori would have done  _ anything  _ to fix this mess between them. He missed the older man so much it was starting to take a toll on his health. From lack of sleep, lack of appetite, nothing seemed worth doing, and he knew it sounded dramatic, but he’d never felt this kind of pain before. Didn’t Akira understand how badly he was hurting? 

“Takanori? You’ve been in there almost twenty minutes. Are you okay?” Kouyou’s voice came through the door and Takanori could hear the slight bit of panic in it. “There’s… Taka that creepy old guy’s truck is pulling into your driveway! Do you think he finally figured out it was one of us who threw those eggs?”

Takanori’s mind stopped registering whatever Kouyou was going on about the moment he mentioned the truck. He wiped his face and bolted out of the bathroom hurrying down the stairs as quickly as he dared. Kouyou was on his heels, calling after him, but he couldn’t stop. Not until he’d flung open the door and ran out completely ignoring the fact that there was snow on the ground and he was only wearing socks. Akira was there, just having got out of his truck, and when he turned to see Takanori standing there he didn’t move. 

“Takanori… I didn’t know that you’d be home. Is your mother here? I need to talk to her.” He said, sunglass covered eyes staring straight into his own. 

“You need to talk to her? You basically kick me out at the door and I don’t hear from you for a week and you expect to just come here and ask to talk to her without even acknowledging me? Do you really hate me so much?”

The blond’s shoulders sank and he walked towards him. “We’re not having this fight in your front yard. Come on, get back inside. You’ll freeze to death out here dressed like that.” He said, reaching for Takanori’s hands which he yanked away. 

“Don’t fucking tell me what to do. You don’t have the right.” He hissed through his teeth, turning to make his way back inside. Kouyou stood just inside the door, eyes wide as saucers and full of confusion. His mother was standing there too. She must have heard his yelling and came to see what the commotion was about.

“What is going on here? Takanori what have I told you about using that word in my home?” She said, her tone much more serious than normal. 

“I'm sorry, mother, I'm sorry. I'm just angry.” 

“I get that by the amount of screaming. Akira? What are you doing here? Will someone explain what's going on?”

Akira nodded. “I will explain everything, but I came to talk to you. In private.”

Takanori stepped in between the blond and his mother. “Whatever he has to say, I think I should hear it. I think I deserve to.” 

Her eyes narrowed and he knew he’d just blown whatever chance he’d had at being able to hear what Akira had come here to say. “No. If I think it’s something you need to know I’ll come get you. Take Kouyou and go to your room.”

“But mom-”

“Now. Takanori. Go upstairs.”

“Taka...come on.” Kouyou tried, taking his arm and pulling him towards the stairs. Part of him wanted to fight more. His mother had  _ never  _ sent him to his room before. To do it here in front of Akira and Kouyou made him feel like such a child. Felt a lot like being kicked in the chest. His mother’s face was the only thing keeping him from talking again and so he let his friend push him up the stairs and into his room. Takanori made sure to pull the door shut as loud as he could so his mother knew they’d gone into the bedroom; though he had no intention of staying there. 

“Takanori what’s going on? Who is that guy? And why is he here to talk to your mom?” Kouyou asked, flinching as the door slammed shut. 

Takanori ground his molars together, trying to think of the best way to hear the conversation about to happen downstairs. “I promise Kou, I will tell you everything, but right now I have to hear what’s going on downstairs. Any ideas?”

The blond bit at his lower lip. “Maybe the laundry vent? It’s close to the living room. If they went in there you might be able to hear them.”

“Yes! Kou you are a genius!” Takanori exclaimed. He had to go slowly so the door wouldn’t squeak, but eventually they’d both snuck down the hall into the bathroom. There was a vent there that dropped straight into the laundry room below, hopefully it would be close enough for them to hear his mother and Akira. He and Kouyou laid down on the ground, heads pressed together over the vent, and Takanori said a silent thanks to whoever was listening as he heard his mother’s voice clear, but quiet. 

“I have to leave for work soon Akira. What is it you wanted to talk to me about?” 

“It’s...about Takanori. A- and me.” Akira answered, and Takanori knew just what expression would be on his face. He didn’t want to have whatever conversation this was. 

His mother sounded surprised, and maybe just as confused as Takanori was feeling now. “About the two of you? Akira, I don’t have much time. Just be honest with me. I don’t like to beat around the bush, you know that.”

“I know, I know. It’s just difficult. I have loved the time that he and I have spent together, and I’m so thankful that you have allowed it to happen. I didn’t have any intentions other than just being Takanori’s friend. I didn’t mean for anything else to happen, but...I think I’ve developed feelings for him that I shouldn’t.”

Takanori’s breath caught in his throat and he just about gave them away with a coughing fit before Kouyou pinched his arm and made him stay quiet. So Akira did feel something for him? It hadn’t been his imagination? 

They heard a sigh. “You fell in love with my seventeen year old son? Akira, what exactly do you want me to do with this information? Have you talked to Takanori? How does he feel about it? You know this could cause you a lot of trouble, right?”

Akira was probably nodding. “I know. Trust me I’ve thought about this over and over for a while now. And I know how wrong it is. Of course I haven’t spoke to him about it. He never needs to find out. I only wanted you to know so you could understand what happened when the news gets out.”

“News about what?”

He heard Akira take a deep breath. “Once I'm done here I'm going to the police station. I don't want you to have to call them, and I don't want to be arrested where Takanori could see. He hasn't done anything wrong, but he'll blame himself for this.”

“The police?! Akira are you crazy?”  _ Thank you Mom.  _ “So you have feelings for Takanori. It's not like you've preyed on him. Feelings can be repressed. Maybe if you two just cut ties then they will go away. You can't turn yourself in for this Akira. I have raised my son to be mature beyond his years, he's had to grow up sooner than need be to help me. You're not in love with a child. And just because you feel it, that doesn't mean you'd ever act on-”

“I already have. I- I'm so sorry. I kissed him. Thanksgiving night.” 

Takanori frowned. The last time he'd heard that tone in Akira’s voice had been the morning he'd learned about his eyes. He knew what it meant. Akira was sitting down there trying his damnedest not to cry in front of his mother and there was nothing he could do. 

“Akira...look at me.”

Kouyou turned to him, eyes wide. “Your mom's using her 'mom’ voice on him. I didn't know it worked on adults.” He whispered, but Takanori hushed him. 

“I know you. This situation may not be anything I've ever expected to happen, but I know you didn't either. You  _ are _ a good man. You would never hurt anyone, much less my son. I saw the two of you at Thanksgiving, he loves you Akira. I raised a wonderful boy. Like you said, he's smart. Smart enough to know what he's feeling. I may not be enthusiastic about this happening, because I know in the end you're both going to be hurt, but if Takanori feels this way for you, then I will allow it. I trust you, and I trust Takanori to make the right decisions. There will be rules though. He's still a minor, and I'm still his mother. Stay here.” 

Takanori felt as if his heart would beat out of his chest, replaying his mother's words over and over in his head without being able to absorb them. 

“Takanori! Get your head out of the vent and get down here.” She called out and they both jerked away from the opening. So she'd known they were listening in the whole time? 

“Come on.” He said, taking Kouyou's hand and helping him off the floor. Takanori didn't let go even as they descended the stairs and walked into the living room. He could feel his face heating up the moment Akira's gaze landed on him. 

“Ah, here's my tomato of a son. I just got done saying how mature you are and this is how you act? Why are you hiding?” His mother asked, hands planted firmly in her hips.

Takanori let go of Kouyou’s hand, stepping around him and looking towards Akira. “Is it true? What you said about me? You really feel that way?” He asked, his throat tight. Akira nodded slowly as if he really wasn’t comfortable admitting it again. “Why didn’t you just tell me?”

“If it were up to me, you never would have found out. I didn’t want this to happen, but I couldn’t control myself, and I’m sorry.”

“So your plan was to go to the police without even talking to me? Without even taking my feelings into consideration? Akira, you’re smart, you knew how I felt long before you kissed me. Does that not matter to you?” He asked, moving to stand in front of the blond now. Takanori reached out for his hand and surprisingly Akira allowed him to take it. 

“Taka, no. Of course it matters to me. And I did know, but I thought if I just didn't reciprocate any of your advances that you'd get over it and we'd never have to get to this point. There are so many things wrong with this, you know tha-” Akira cut off as Takanori put a hand over his mouth. 

“Stop it. You always do this. You're always making excuses to try to placate everyone else. If you had your way, consequences be damned, what would you do right now?” He asked and when he was sure the other wasn't going to launch into another protest, he removed his hand. 

“I… I would kiss you again.”

Takanori smiled and leaned down to do just that but before their lips could meet, his mother interrupted.

“Hold on there boys. Like I said, there will be rules. Can you keep your faces apart long enough to hear them?”

Akira pulled his hand away, sitting back further on the sofa. “Of course. I'm sorry.” Takanori had to stop himself from rolling his eyes, taking a seat beside him. He wasn't about to disrespect her when he was about to get everything he wanted.

“What rules mom?”

“I have three. One, your studies come first. You're still going to graduate and get into that school. I won't let you blow that off and I don't think Akira would want you to either.”

“Your mother's right. I won't hold you back from that. We can deal with that when it comes time for you to leave.” Akira agreed. 

His mom looked relieved. “The second is I still want to see you. If I'm home for the night, I want you home too. Just like we have been doing. I know you're going to want to stay with Akira, that's fine. Just don't take advantage of me. And third, because you are still a minor, I have to stress that you refrain from having sex unti-”

“Mom!!”

“-l after your birthday. I know it's unrealistic to expect you to refrain altogether, but please wait.”

Akira went rigid beside him and Kouyou choked on his own breath. Takanori felt his cheeks flaming hot and he couldn't even make eye contact with her. 

“I uh…” Akira started. “I had no intention of anything like that happening for a very long time, if ever. So I promise we won't be breaking that rule. Taka is...young. There are a lot of firsts that I won't take from him. Basically, nothing will change between us.”

“What?” Takanori's head snapped up, eyes narrowed. “What do you mean nothing will change? I mean, I agree with the birthday thing, but shouldn't I get to choose when and if I decide to have sex? My firsts? You're basically saying that this.” He motioned to the small space between them. “Is as close as we will get? If you don't want me why tell her love me? Why go through all this if you simply care about me as a friend?” 

“Okay...guys I gotta get to work. You are welcome to stay and fight this out. Let me know what decision you make. Kouyou, please make sure they'd don't get blood on the furniture.”

Takanori stopped, watching as his mother grabbed her work bag and headed out the front door. The door slammed shut, the noise too loud in the quiet of the room, and made him flinch. 

“Takanori. Can we just have a civil conversation about this?” Akira asked from behind him. 

Before responding to him, he turned towards his best friend. “Kou, could you give us a few moments? I need to break up with my 'boyfriend’.”

The blonde's brows came together in a frown. “Taka, I don't think that's necessary. Why do-”

“Just let me handle this, okay? I'll be upstairs in a bit.” He replied, reaching out to squeeze the taller boy's arm. Kouyou looked so unsure but didn't argue, just nodded his head and disappeared back upstairs. 

“Takano-”

“Just let me talk first, okay?” Takanori asked, taking a seat next to Akira on the sofa, close, but not close enough for his own liking. “I understood my mom’s rules for us, but what you said… Akira I’m not sure that you needed to come here at all. If you don’t want any kind of physically romantic contact with me then it’s okay, but I think we have very different feelings towards each other. What my mom said was true. I do love you, but I  _ want  _ that physical relationship. I wanna hold your hand and kiss you, fall asleep with you. All of that. If that’s not what you want, then nothing will change. We forget all this happened and go back to being friends just like before. I think that’s more of what you want, right? I know you love me, but not the way I love you. I don’t want to lose you as my friend. I’m willing to go back if you will let me.”

Akira reached out for his hands, holding them in his much larger ones. “I’ve been in love before Taka, I know what it feels like. I am...very much attracted to you and if I cared less about you, I’d have damned your mother’s rules and had you right here on the sofa already. I do care about you though. More than you understand. That is why I said those things to your mother. I don’t want you to have any regrets when you go off to college. I want you to go to San Francisco with an open mind. Because one of two things is going to happen there. One, you meet someone else and you blow them off because you know I am here waiting for you. You’ll regret that choice and resent me for it in the end. Two, you don’t blow them off and you forget about me. That’s the option I would hope for. So no matter what we do now, the outcome is the same. We won’t work in the long run.”

Takanori tried to stay still, tried not to let it show how badly he was hurting, but he knew Akira would hear it in his voice. “You don’t  _ know  _ that I will meet someone else Aki. A- and even if I did, I would talk to you about it. I would never just forget about you. That person...they would have to make me feel like you do. They would have to make my heart beat faster every time I looked at them, make me smile even when all I want to do is breakdown, take my breath away with just a simple touch. If I find another person like that, then we can deal with it then. But right now, I want to give us a fair chance. I may not have been in love before, but I’m not naive, and I deserve to at least be treated like I have choices in this situation too. And if I had my choice Akira, even if I knew for certain my heart would be broken in the end, I would still want to be with you now. Is that not what you want?”

A few long minutes went by with Akira only staring at their conjoined hands and Takanori was already bracing himself for the worst when he finally lifted his head. “I do, Taka. I want to take that risk if it means I have the chance to be with you now.”

“Thank you Aki, thank you.” He whispered, moving to wrap his arms around the blonde’s neck. Akira held him close and for the first time he could feel how much the other cared for him. There was no way that he would ever find someone else. No matter how long they were apart. He couldn’t love someone else this much. 

“Taka? Can I kiss you?” The words were mumbled into his hair and Takanori pulled back. Akira was silent as he slid the sunglasses off of his face and laid them on the coffee table. He couldn’t keep the smile off his face as he ran his fingers back through his hair, but Akira looked just as happy as he felt. 

“Now you can.”

Akira took his time, one hand moving to his lower back, the other resting against his cheek. Takanori could feel his hands shaking though. Was he this upset to be kissing him?

“Aki, you don't have to do it.”

“I want to. I'm just nervous. It's been years since I've kissed someone and I've never kissed a guy before.”

Takanori smirked. “Well hopefully it's better than your last kiss or I'm out of here.” He teased, trying to lighten the moment. 

“Oh my kiss was bad huh? Like yours was any better? I think we both deserve a redo, don't you?”

He nodded, slowly leaning forward until he could feel Akira's breath warm against his lips. His heartbeat thundered in his ears but Takanori covered those last millimeters and pressed his lips gently to the blonde's. He didn't really know what he was doing so when Akira got with the program and took over, he was thankful. Warmth spread throughout his body as he was lowered to the sofa and pressed to the arm rest. Their lips met again and again until Takanori felt like he couldn't breathe but Akira's body was still pressed against him and he didn't care if he died here. 

“Fuck. Taka you are so hot. So sweet. You're addicting. You know that?” Akira whispered against his jawline, sending shivers all across his skin. He couldn't even bring himself to respond. All he could manage was a soft whimper as he pulled the blond back to his lips and this time when Akira's tongue danced over his bottom lip, Takanori's parted for him, and his head tilted to deepen the kiss. 

“Um, excuse me. I hate to interrupt but you guys stopped talking so I came to see if you'd killed each other.”

They both turned to see Kouyou standing across the room from them, arms crossed over his chest. Akira moved off of his but Takanori caught the way he winced, straightening out his leg once he'd sat back to his side of the sofa. He made a mental note to not allow the older man to kneel like that again. 

“Sorry Kou...we got carried away.”

The taller blond arched a brow at him. “I can see that.” He smirked. “Are you going to introduce me to your insanely hot boyfriend you’ve never mentioned to your best friends?”

Takanori didn’t miss that remark at the end. Kouyou was calling him out. “Um, yeah. Kou, this is Akira Suzuki. Aki, one of my best friends, Kouyou Takashima.” 

He watched anxiously as Akira stood up to shake Kouyou’s hand. 

“I’ve heard a lot about you Kouyou. It was you and another boy that through the eggs at my house, right?”

Kouyou visibly paled and Takanori had to keep himself from breaking into a fit of giggles. He knew full well Akira was only going to give him shit about it, but Kouyou looked like he was about to faint. 

“I… your house? No, we egged the old guy’s house just outside of town.” Kouyou stuttered out. 

Takanori got off the sofa, coming up to wrap his arm around Akira’s waist. “Eh, Kou, meet the old guy who owns the house you egged.” He chuckled, pointing a thumb back to his now boyfriend and watching his friend’s eyes just about roll out of his head. 

“But... you're- I think I need to sit down.” He mumbled, moving around them to sit on the sofa. “Dude I am so sorry about your house. We were so drunk and-”

“Kouyou, stop.” Akira laughed. “It's fine. I've been stupid before too. Besides, Takanori came and cleaned it all up.”

Kouyou frowned. “You did? When?”

“Uh yeah. The next evening. During your game. I just couldn't leave it like that. So I went out to clean it up. That's when I met Akira. We've...been hanging out ever since so I have to say I'm glad you threw the eggs.” Takanori replied, unable to keep himself from looking up to Akira with a smile. 

  
  


“Taka.” Kouyou looked straight at him, a serious look on his face. “Don't you ever say Yuta and I are sappy and gross again. Not when you're looking at this guy like he's holding the moon for you.”

“Shut up Kou!” Takanori snapped, hiding his face behind his boyfriend's shoulder, but Akira only laughed and turned around to face him. 

“Be nice to your friend. I should probably be heading home. Will you text me tomorrow?”

“Why? I don't want you to leave. Stay with me tonight. Please?” Takanori pleaded, going so far as to stick his bottom lip out. 

“I would...but Kouyou's already here with you an-”

“Kouyou wouldn't care if he was allowed to call his boyfriend to come stay at the sleepover too.” Kouyou called from the sofa, reclined back with his phone in his hand.

Akira sighed. “You really want me to stay and meet another one of your friends?”

Takanori nodded. “I do, but only if you're up for it. Why don't you go home and get what you need to stay and I'll have Yuta come over and I'll tell him everything before you get back. That way they won't have a million questions for you. I really, really want you to stay with me. And no more of the separate bed shit. Just you and me and my tiny bed.”

“That does sound nice. Though I have to admit Taka, I still don't feel a hundred percent okay with all of this. I feel like a creep.”

“Does it feel wrong when you kiss me?”

Akira frowned, shaking his head. “No, but that doesn't make it right either. Just give me time, okay?”

Takanori raised up on his toes, placing a kiss to the older man’s cheek. “Take all the time you need. I'm gonna… I'll text you after I've talked to the guys okay?”

“Alright. I'll see you after a while then.” Akira replied, giving him one last kiss before taking his coat and leaving the house. 

______________________

“Thank you for telling your friends about me Taka. I'm not sure I was up for that.” 

Takanori paused in pulling his sleep clothes out of his closet. Akira was standing in his room looking extremely uncomfortable despite the hint of a smile on his face. 

“I wasn't sure if you'd be upset that I told. I just didn't want them to ask you about all of it. And they definitely would have.” 

Akira nodded. “I wouldn't have blamed them. I really like your friends though. They're as nice as you say. I'm going to go change and brush my teeth. I'll be back, okay?”

“Sure thing.” Takanori said, voice sounding much more sure than he was feeling. This was...stressing him out. Sure, they'd slept in the same bed in Akira’s attic but  _ this  _ was different. He was so nervous he rushed through getting dressed and crawled into bed, flipping the covers up over himself and facing the wall. 

The door to his room opened a few minutes later and he heard Akira chuckle before the older man came and sat on the edge of his bed. He started tucking the blankets around him and brushed his hair back from his face. 

“Goodnight Takanori. Sleep good okay? We'll talk tomorrow.” He whispered, leaning down to press a kiss to his hair. 

Takanori immediately flipped over, trying to sit up though the blankets made it difficult. “Akira? Where are you going? I thought-”

“It's too much, right? Sleeping together like this is a big step. You're so nervous I could see you shaking from the doorway. I'm going to head on home and we can talk about it later.” He replied, standing from the bed. 

“No! Aki please stay. I am nervous but not in a bad way. I'm excited nervous and I want you here next to me. I promise I'm not upset. Please? Just lay down here with me.”

His boyfriend seemed to have to think for a moment before he lift the edge of the covers and slowly crawled under with him. Takanori's heartbeat steadied the moment Akira’s arms fit around him and he felt the other's beating against his back. The older man was nervous too and somehow that made Takanori feel more relaxed. 

“Your...bed is very small.” Akira snickered, the arm around his waist tightening even more and bring their bodies flush together. Takanori knew he was going tomato again so he opted for just staying still. “You're very small too. Small and warm and you smell so good. Taka are you sleeping? I wanna kiss you again.”

“Um...right now? L-laying down like this? Together?” He stuttered out, attempting to put more distance between himself and the blond, but Akira wasn’t having it, pulling at his arm and trying to roll him over. Eventually he couldn’t fight anymore and let himself be rolled onto his back. He could barely make out Akira’s face in the darkness, but somehow knew he was smiling. 

“Yes, right now. Just like this. I know you’re nervous. I promise, all I want is to kiss you. I’ll keep my hands to myself and everything. Trust me?”

_ Stupid question.  _ “Of course I do.”

And once again Akira’s soft lips found his own, the kiss so gentle it made Takanori’s heart squeeze almost painfully in his chest. He could feel the eagerness behind that kiss but Akira did just as he’d said, holding himself up with one arm while the other hand cradled his cheek. Part of him wanted Akira to touch him, but the rational part knew he’d probably start hyperventilating. Wouldn’t that just be so sexy? 

All too soon the blonde pulled away, laying flat on his back and leaving Takanori more than confused. 

“You uh, don’t wanna kiss me anymore?” He asked hesitantly, rolling on to his side so he could try to make out the other’s expression.

“Oh I do, but I also don’t want to overwhelm you. I figure if I let you come to me, then I can be sure I’m not forcing you into anything you don’t want.”

“That’s stupid. Of course you’re no- Oh.” This  _ bastard _ ! He was only doing this to see if Takanori wanted to kiss him too. Unfortunately, he couldn’t even be stubborn this time because he  _ did  _ in fact want to kiss Akira more. “Fuck it.” He said, sitting up so he could lean over and kiss his asshole boyfriend, who was grinning like an idiot against his lips. 

When he tried to pull back, Akira’s hands grabbed his hips, pulling him on top of the older. For a moment he panicked, but then he relaxed, his knees sitting into the mattress on either side of Akira and he sat up a bit, the angle allowing him to deepen the kiss more. He was completely losing himself in that kiss, his brain just shutting out anything that wasn’t how his boyfriend’s tongue felt, licking into his mouth, but before long Akira pulled away, a laugh released from his lips. 

“What are you laughing about? Am I that bad at kissing? It’s not like I’ve had lots of practice you know!”

“No, no, Taka. You’re fine at kissing. I just didn’t realize this would work you up so much.” He answered, obviously trying to stifle another laugh. 

Takanori was confused, but reality hit him like a freight train the moment he tried to climb off his boyfriend. His sleep shorts weren’t exactly thick and the movement left his erection rubbing against Akira’s stomach. He whimpered at the contact and covered his face with his hands. 

“Oh god. Aki I’m sorry. Just let me g-”

Akira sat up, pulling his hands away and putting them on his shoulders. “Stop. Shh. No need to apologize. Nothing to be embarrassed about. It’s just me and you here, remember? Do you...um, do you need help? Or will you be okay if we stop now?”

“I um… Can you excuse me for a little bit? I'll be back.” Takanori replied, moving off Akira and getting out of bed. 

“Taka, just come back okay? I don't want you to feel embarrassed or guilty. Just come right back.” Akira’s voice was so serious Takanori just nodded before leaving the bedroom. 

Once the door was locked behind him, Takanori slid his back down the wall until he got the tile. Despite Akira's words, he was embarrassed. He was so turned on if they'd kept kissing things probably would have got messy on his end. Akira though, hadn't seemed so bothered by it. Was it just because he was older? More experienced? He definitely...knew how to kiss. Fuck, just thinking about it had Takanori delving a hand into his shorts. 

Less than three minutes later he was washing his hands, splashing cool water on his heated face. Takanori looked at himself in the mirror and tried to smile at what he saw, tried to picture himself the way Akira did. He couldn't though. He really was just so...bland looking. In the end he turned off the light and padded back down the hallway. 

“Aki? Are you asleep?” He whispered. The older man had moved to the side of the bed nearest the wall and lifted the blankets when he spoke. 

“Nope. Just waiting for you. Come here.”

Takanori didn't hesitate this time, crawling under the covers and snuggling up against his boyfriend. Akira held him close, pressing little kisses into his hair. 

“You feel okay now?”

“I do. Thank you for not letting me freak out.”

Another kiss, to his forehead this time. “Nothing worth freaking out over. I'm just glad you're more relaxed now. It's been a long day.”

Takanori only nodded, tilting his head up to kiss the underside of Akira's jaw. They didn't need any more words. For once they would both sleep peacefully, uninterrupted, and in the morning he would wake up to Akira smiling down at him and Takanori would realize he was happy. Truly happy. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh this one took awhile! Finals are finally over for the semester so I hope I didn't make you all wait to long 😞

“How did you- Akira you've got frosting all over you. You're worse than Taka, I swear. Honey, do something about your boyfriend.”

Takanori looked up from where he'd just finished pouring chocolate into silicone molds, his lips curving into a grin. Akira was trying to help his mother frost cookies but it seemed he was indeed wearing more icing than the cookies. Watching his boyfriend try to wipe all the frosting off, Takanori rolled his eyes, walking around the kitchen island. 

“I'll help him alright.” He said, raising up on his toes and licking at the frosting on Akira’s cheek. 

“Oh get a room. Go wash up, company will be here soon.” 

Takanori stuck his tongue out at his mother and grabbed Akira's hand, pulling him out of the kitchen. It wasn't until they were closed into the bathroom that Akira finally spoke up. 

“Taka you can't do things like that in front of your mom. She's going to think more is going on.” He said as Takanori grabbed a washcloth and ran it under warm water. 

“Aki don't be stupid. My mom doesn't care. I made her a promise and she knows I keep them. She's fine with us together. I'm not going to act any different just because she's around. Stop being so paranoid.” He replied, starting to wipe the frosting off his face. Akira really had made a huge mess. 

“I just...don't want to disappoint her after everything she's done for me. It's more than just allowing me to be with you.”

Takanori offered him an understanding smile. “I know baby. But I promise she's not going to be disappointed in you. This isn't something you need to worry about. We've talked a lot about this and at this point she pretty much considers you family. You know why?” Akira shook his head. “Because I love you, and I have no intention of ever letting you go.”

Akira smiled, but the sadness could still be seen in his eyes. Takanori couldn't understand why the older man wasn't as happy as he was. “Akira this isn't just about my mom, is it? What's eating you? I can see it. Something's on your mind. You've gotta talk to me.”

“I know. I'm sorry. The holiday just...it makes you think of family, you know? And I don't have any family left. Taka, I don't want this to be my last Christmas with you, but I know it's probably will be. It's not that I'm not happy to be here. I don't want you to think that. I'm only afraid that having this as a memory is going to kill me later on.”

The younger kept quiet for a moment to think. He knew in the deepest reaches of his heart that he and Akira were meant to be together forever, but there was no way for him to convince Akira of this; to make him truly believe it. So instead of trying, Takanori pulled the older man against him, arms around his waist, and held him tight. Akira seemed a bit surprised by the sudden hug, but then returned it. 

“Just remember that I love you.” 

Akira nodded, placing a kiss to the top of his head. “Tell me again what’s going on today? How many people will be here?”

“Well, my friends will be here, and their parents. I know it's a lot, but once dinner is over all the parents go back to Kouyou's place and drink or gossip or whatever parents do.”

“I don't think I want to hang out with all the parents. And I don't drink. So I'll probably head home after dinner if that's okay?”

Takanori smiled, brushing blond hair out of Akira’s face. “No one expects you to go with them Aki. My mom knows your want to stay here. But if you get tired I won't be angry if you want to go home. I wish you'd stay though. We always just watch a movie and fill up on candy before heading to bed. I wouldn't mind you sleeping here again.”

“I appreciate that you understand I may need time alone. We'll just have to see how it all goes.”

Once all the frosting was cleaned from his clumsy boyfriend, he and Akira made their way back to the kitchen just in time for the doorbell to start ringing. Takanori could tell from the way Akira shifted on his feet that he was nervous, but he doubted anyone else could tell. And he was so proud of the older man for not wanting to put on his sunglasses. He'd decided a few nights ago that he wasn't going to hide anymore and Takanori almost cried he'd been so happy. 

It was still so strange for him to see Akira interact with other adults though. He was no longer so dorky and giggly as he was when it was just the two of them, and it was quite impressive, at least to Takanori. He watched, pride stirring in his heart, as Akira dazzled each and every parent that came through the door. 

He'd been slightly worried how his friend's parents would react to  _ seeing _ Akira, but none of them seemed even the least but bothered. His mother had spoken to the others beforehand about his relationship with the older man and though they had the same parental concerns she did, no one let on if they were disapproving. The more he and Akira mingled, the more his boyfriend came out of that shell until he was making the other adults laugh and tell stories too. It gave Takanori a wicked case of the warm and fuzzies.

Even Kouyou's father, who was once a naval officer, was laughing, clapping Akira on the shoulder. 

"So Kouyou tells me you're an army grunt huh?" Kouyou's father, Dominic asked, pulling Akira off into the living room. Takanori followed, unwilling to leave the blond alone though he knew damn well Akira didn't need him hovering. 

"I am sir. Been out for years now though. Discharged before I turned twenty-one. Were you really stationed in Hawaii?"

The older man nodded. "I was for a while. Not all it's cracked up to be. Where'd they stick you? You would've just been out of basics?"

Akira scratched at the back of his neck, something he did when he was getting nervous. "Yes sir. I was posted in Baghdad." 

Takanori watched Dominic's expression change, a darkness falling over the cheery smile. He didn't quite understand. Confusion was written all over his face as the older man reached out to squeeze Akira's upper arm, their eyes locked. 

"I'm glad you made it home, son. And...if you ever need to sit down with someone who understands, you find me. No matter what time of day or night. Don't keep anything to yourself if it gets hard. You got that?"

Akira was stoic except for the slightest tremble of his bottom lip. "Y-yes sir. Thank you, sir." He said, bowing his head. One last squeeze and they were left alone in the room. 

"Aki? You okay? What was that all about?" He asked, hands rubbing up and down his boyfriend's arms. 

Akira smiled, a genuine smile, and leaned down to press a kiss to his lips. "It's nothing you need to worry about sweetheart. I promise you, I'm fine."

Takanori frowned. "You've never told me much about the time you were in service. Do you...think I'm too naive to listen?"

"What? Taka, I've never thought that. It's not that I don't want to talk to you about it. I don't want to talk to anyone about it. I know what happened back then and I have no reason to bring it into my future. Maybe someday if there's a reason, I'll tell you, but it's not important. Not to me."

"But…" Takanori chewed on his bottom lip. He didn't want to harass Akira about this, and he knew it was selfish, but he wanted to be the one Akira talked to. "If you...have things you need to talk about, even not related to this, would you come to me? Or would you pass over me for an adult?"

Akira's eyes narrowed, and Takanori felt as if the other was reading his mind. Could Akira see how childish he was? How selfish? "Takanori I have talked to you about more things in my life than I have anyone else and we've only known each other for four months. Of course I would go to you. I've always been honest with you, and I will be now because I can see this is a big deal for you. There are things that happened when I was overseas that neither you nor anyone else that wasn't there will ever be able to understand, and you have no idea how  _ thankful  _ I am that you can't. That's what Kouyou's dad meant. He knows that. Taka, you may not be able to understand like he could, but you can comfort me in ways no one else can. You don't have to understand what I went through to help me now. You just have to be you. Alright?"

Takanori nodded his head, wiping at his eyes with the back of his hand. "Thank you."

"No need for that. Come on, give me a kiss. Okay? Everything's fine." Akira replied, arms circling his waist. Their kiss was too soon interrupted by the call for dinner, but Takanori felt better; he felt as if he was deserving to stand next to Akira as his equal. 

Later that night after their parents had left for Kouyou's house, Takanori snuck through the living room on his way upstairs. Kouyou was sprawled out in front of the fireplace on top of his sleeping bag, Yutaka's head laying on his shoulder. Yuu was cuddled up with Kazuki on the sofa and Takanori draped a thin blanket over them before turning out the majority of the lights, leaving only the Christmas tree on. 

Upstairs, Akira was sitting on the edge of his bed. He held a picture frame in his hands, studying it with a smile. The photo was of Takanori when he was about four, dressed for Arctic weather, and his mom pulling him on an old metal sled. 

"You were such a cute baby. Can I see more of your photo albums someday?" He asked, placing the frame back on the bedside table. 

"Sure. Do you have any pictures from when you were a kid to share with me in return for getting to see my pudgy little face?"

Akira chuckled, scooting back against the wall. "You still have the cutest little face. I do have a few, yes. You're welcome to see them, but right now, I have a present for you."

"Akira, I said no gifts!"

"I know, I know, but this one was really cheap and I think you'll want it." 

Takanori sighed, crawling into bed to sit with him. "Alright, show me then."

His boyfriend grinned, pulling something out of his pocket and laying it in Takanori's palm. A key? Just a regular old silver key? Why would Akira give him a k-

"Oh my gosh. Is this what I think it is?!" He all but squealed, putting a hand over his mouth. 

"Shhh" Akira chided. "I thought it was time you had a key to the house. That way you can come even if I'm not there. Even if you never use it, I like the idea of you having it."

“Does this mean we’re officially going steady now?” Takanori teased, unable to look away from the key in his hand. 

Akira sighed heavily, falling sideways onto the pillows. “You’re impossible. No one talks like that anymore. And excuse me if I’m wrong, but I thought we’d been official for a bit now.”

“Yeah, I think we have. Hey Aki? Thank you for deciding to stay tonight. I know today must have worn you out, but you were so great. Yutaka’s mom even said she expected to see you here next year, so I guess that means you’re stuck with me huh?”

“Forever and always, I hope.” He replied cheekily. “I was nervous, but having you next to me is a huge confidence boost. You stayed with me, so now I’m staying with you.”

Takanori smiled then got up, placing the key on the keyring where he kept his own house key. Once that was done he turned back to Akira, placing his fist in the palm of his left hand. “Come on. Time to play.”

His boyfriend sat back up, mimicking his actions. 

“Rock, paper, scissors.” They said together and Akira’s hands went up in the air with a shout.

“Yes! Your stupid scissors can eat it!”

Takanori rolled his eyes and climbed back into bed. “Fine, fine. You can be the little spoon tonight, but after this we’re changing the rules to no more than three nights in a row, no matter who wins.”

“Deal.” Akira shook his hand before rolling over to face the wall. 

Takanori watched the way Akira’s t-shirt pulled tight across his shoulders, the yellow fabric highlighted in the dim light from the window, and couldn’t bring himself to be upset about losing again. He actually loved losing. To be able to have his arms around Akira as they slept was still so unreal to him and there was no way he’d truly complain about it. 

________________________

“What are we even doing? Where are we going? What the hell is going on with you guys?” Takanori tried in desperation to get someone to answer him as his friends pulled him down the hallway. Their last class period had just ended, shouldn’t they be heading somewhere other than...the locker room? “Hello?! It’s my fucking birthday and I demand to know what’s going on!” 

“Stop struggling Taka! Just trust us!” Yutaka said as they stopped and Yuu finally picked him up over his shoulder to carry him the rest of the way into the room while students all around them were starting to stare. 

Once inside the locker room, Yuu dumped him onto a bench and the others started pulling clothes and makeup out of their bags. Before Takanori could even begin to question what was happening, they'd dressed him in a satin red suit with a black undershirt, black shoes and lace black gloves on his hands. Kouyou was yanking on his hair, styling it up off his forehead while Yutaka applied makeup to his eyes. Yuu stood beside them, arms crossed over his chest like he was standing guard and waiting for Takanori to try and run. 

“Will someone please tell me what’s going on? I don’t dress like this. These aren’t my clothes. Where did they come from?” He tried to ask, but Yutaka put a finger to his lips to shut him up again, a pout on his face. 

“Don’t you trust us Taka? We only want you to have the best birthday eve-” He cut off as Yuu smacked the back of his head. 

“Keep your mouth shut. Don’t you know how to keep a secret? Hurry up, we’re running late already.”

A few more agitated minutes and they were pulling him up to look in a mirror. Takanori stopped struggling then, staring at himself with wide eyes and open mouth. Was that really  _ him _ ? He actually looked kind of good, for once. 

“Proof that I can make even Takanori look hot.” Yuu smirked, leaning against his shoulder. “Wish we’d had time to bleach your hair, but this looks good. No time to admire my wardrobe choices though. Come on.” 

Takanori didn’t even bother asking where they were going now, knowing full well that no one would tell him anyway. Other students did double takes and stared at him as they made their way towards the front doors of the school. He even heard a few girls squeal. Maybe Yuu really did have an eye for fashion. That or maybe his fellow classmates were just noticing his existence for the first time and thought he was a new kid. That was probably more likely. 

His friends stopped him just short of the front door, speaking in obviously excited voices. 

“Whatever you do, don’t do that squealy girl thing. Try to be cool, okay?” Yuu said, patting his back. 

“Oh leave him alone. It’s okay Taka. Squeal if you want.” 

Kouyou nodded. “Yuta’s right. Whatever you want.”

“Happy birthday Midget.” Yuu kissed his cheek, nudging him towards the door. “Our little boy is growing up!” He shouted as Kouyou and Yutaka opened the double doors for him. 

At first his brain couldn’t quite comprehend what he was seeing. His eyes roamed over the shiny exterior of a cherry red Mustang, the sun gleaming off its flanks and making it appear almost alive. The last time he’d seen it...had been more than a month ago. Akira must have been working on it every second they weren’t together. 

Akira.

His boyfriend stood beside the passenger door, his face devoid of glasses or mask, and he wore a sharp black suit, obviously tailored for him, as well as a red tie that matched Takanori’s outfit. His blond hair had been slicked back, the ends looking pointy. In his hand was a single red rose, such a beautiful contrast to his suit. 

And he did  _ not  _ squeal. 

He merely whimpered. 

There were people, students, teachers, everywhere watching them but Takanori couldn’t be bothered to notice. His steps were slow as he approached the older man, measured, when all he wanted to do was run, and as he grew closer he could see the smile on Akira’s face brighten. 

Akira held the rose out to him and Takanori accepted it, closing his eyes for only a moment to breathe in its scent. “Thank you. It’s beautiful. A-and the car and you look…” He could feel the stinging behind his eyes and had to stop. The last thing he wanted was for everyone to watch him get emotional, but apparently it was too late. Akira brushed a tear from his cheek with his thumb. 

“Happy birthday Takanori.” 

“Than-” He cut off, Akira capturing his lips in the sweetest kiss they’d ever shared. 

In that moment it didn’t matter that he’d just outed himself in front of his classmates, no one was going to poke fun at him when his boyfriend turned up like this. He heard someone start to clap behind him then the sound became louder, surrounding them, and Takanori felt himself blushing when Akira pulled him even closer. It was like that moment in a movie every girl dreamed of, and now it was his own. 

“I want to take you out tonight. On a proper date. Would you be okay with that?” Akira asked, his voice soft when they parted. 

Takanori nodded, his hands laying flat against Akira’s chest. “I would be more than okay with that.”

His boyfriend grinned, turning a bit to open the door for him. Takanori took that moment as he slid into the front seat to look around them at all the faces of his peers. Yeah, no one would be bullying him come Monday. Hell, he'd probably be all the kids were talking about. 

"I can believe you did this. I mean, the car? The rose? The suit? God that  _ suit _ . And in public."

Akira flashed him a cheesy grin. "Were you surprised then?"

"Sufficiently flustered. Where are we going anyway? Am I dressed okay? This must be weird, I never dress like this."

"Takanori, you look fine. More than fine honestly. You're gorgeous. And I'm so happy to be able to finally tell people that you are all mine." He replied, reaching over to take Takanori's hand. "We're going to the city actually. I have reservations for us at a restaurant you'll hopefully like." 

“All the way to the city just for dinner? Isn’t that a bit extravagant?” He asked, brushing his thumb back and forth over Akira’s knuckles. 

"Well, you only turn eighteen once, so I figured a bit of extravagance would be fine. This isn't your day to worry. Just enjoy."

Takanori smiled, looking down at their joined hands. "Okay Aki. No more worrying."

___________________

Sometime during their two hour drive, Takanori had nodded off. He awoke to a hand gently shaking his shoulder. 

"I fell asleep? I'm sorry." He murmured, just then remembering not to rub his eyes. He'd probably already messed his hair. 

"It's fine. You were tired from school I'm sure. Are you ready to eat? I think I'm starving." Akira said, taking off his seatbelt. 

Takanori nodded. “Me too.” He said, slipping his seatbelt off. Akira had already come around to his side of the car, opening the door for him. The restaurant wasn’t what he’d been picturing. It was fancy, sure, but as he looked over the menu he realized it was all italian food. Which meant they had-

“Spaghetti! That’s what I’m getting. It’s my favorite.” 

“I know it is. That’s all you ever talk about is how I never make it. So I thought for your birthday you should have it.” 

Takanori looked over the top of his menu, watching Akira’s eyes scan his own. He looked so perfect in that suit. He was perfect, wasn’t he? 

“Thank you Aki. For everything.”

Before he could respond, a waiter came and took their orders and now words of gratitude were lost in easy conversation as they waited. The food was great and Takanori admittedly ate too much, so when the waiter asked if they were interested in desserts, he quickly shook his head and Akira paid the bill. 

"Aki I think you might have to carry me out of here. I'm feeling sleepy again."

"You know I can't carry you. I'd love too, but I can't. You'll just have to roll out to the car." Akira teased. It wasn't completely false. He  _ could _ easily carry him, if it weren't for his knee. Which Takanori liked to whine about how Akira wouldn't be carrying him into their new home after their wedding, and Akira always said he would try anyway, even if they both ended up on the floor. 

"Will-" He was cut off by a surprising yawn. "Will you be okay driving home? I don't know if I'll be able to stay awake after eating like this."

"Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that." Akira suddenly seemed nervous and Takanori felt an uneasy feeling in his stomach. "You have to let me explain before you react. I booked us a hotel room for the weekend-"

"You what?!"

"It's not what you think. I'm not expecting anything. I don't think either of us are ready for that yet. I just thought it might be nice to spend some time away from town. A whole weekend just to ourselves. You know, order takeout, lay around in bed and just relax. I figured you could use it after being back at school for a couple weeks, but if you don’t want to, or it makes you uncomfortable, then we’ll just go home. I don’t want you to think I’m pressuring you into anything.”

Takanori hesitated for a moment, his nails scratching over the fabric of his pants. This really wasn’t such a big deal, so why was his heart racing? It wasn’t as if he and Akira hadn’t spent countless nights alone by now, but those were in his home or at Akira’s house; places where he felt comfortable. Could he feel so confident in a strange hotel room? 

“It’s okay Aki. I think… I think I’d like to stay here. At least for tonight and see how things go.” 

The smile on his boyfriend’s face seemed to light up the dimly lit restaurant. “Thank you for trusting me. I promise it won’t be any different than when we’re at home. Although the shower may have better water pressure.” He joked, standing up from the table. “Come on, let’s get you to bed before you go into a pasta coma.”

“I think it’s too late for that.” 

_________________________________________________________

The hotel room was elegant; designed in dark reds and golds. Takanori tried to appreciate the fact that Akira had booked them such a nice place to stay, but all he could focus on was the four post, king sized bed that seemed to be calling his name. He’d admitted to Akira on the way to the hotel that he hadn’t slept much at all the night before, too nervous about his birthday to sleep, and his boyfriend had told him it was fine, that he didn’t mind letting him go to bed. 

And that’s exactly what he’d done. Takanori had changed into his sleep clothes in the giant bathroom, loving the heated tiles beneath his feet, then crawled up into bed while Akira tucked him in and kissed his forehead saying that he was going to take a shower then join him. Takanori had barely heard the end of the sentence before he’d drifted off. 

He woke up warm, snuggled down in the covers, feeling more rested than he had in awhile. The sun was streaming in through the windows and Takanori could see that the city had been blanketed in a soft layer of snow overnight. That was perfect. It meant they could spend the whole day here. Akira’s idea was looking more and more appealing by the minute. But where was the blond?

Slipping out of bed, Takanori checked the bathroom but it was empty too. Part of him began to panic until he saw the little note laying on the table beside the door. 

**Taka, **

**I went down to a bakery around the corner for **

**breakfast. I’ll be back soon. Love you.**

**Akira**

Ah, well he couldn’t very well be angry about that now, could he? Takanori smiled at the little note and carried it back to the bed with him. He grabbed his phone from the bedside table and saw he had a few messages in the group chat with his friends. They were being nosy and inappropriate as always. 

**Stud Muffin**

Takaaaaaaaaaaaaa please tell me that man isn't defiling my baby right now? Has he murdered you? Are you alright?

**Quacker**

Leave him alone Yuu! He's busy getting that perky little ass pounded. Taka don't let him interrupt if Akira's...eating dessert.

**Sunshine Angel**

You guys stop it! Leave them alone and don't be so crude! Be careful Takanori. If you're going to...do it, use protection! 

**Stud Muffin**

That's our mom… Kouyou, you're dating a mom.

**Quacker**

I am. And I love him. 

**McMidget**

Won't you all shut up?? We're not doing anything like that! 

But...I think I want too…

**Stud Muffin**

In all seriousness Taka, no one here is going to judge you for it. You two love each other. There's nothing wrong with you having sex with Akira. He'll treat you right. 

**Sunshine Angel**

Yuu, for once, is right. Aki's a good guy. We trust him with you. I'm going to do you a favor and wrangle the idiots so they can't bother you today. 

**Quacker**

Stop calling us idiots! We'll leave him alone. Talk to you tomorrow Taka! 

**Stud Muffin**

Be safe babe. See you Monday.

**McMidget**

Thanks guys...really. I'll tell you what happens on Monday! 

Takanori text his mother, letting her know he was fine, before turning off his phone and setting it aside just as the door opened and Akira stepped in. 

"Oh, you're awake. How did you sleep?" He asked, setting a couple boxes down on the end of the bed.

"Just fine. Like I was wrapped in a cocoon of warmth. When did you come to bed?" 

Akira narrowed his eyes like he was trying to remember. "Maybe an hour after you did? I took a long shower and just relaxed in front of our fake fireplace. Then I got in bed and curled up against you. Slept like a log. I brought breakfast. Nothing too heavy. I did make sure to get a chocolate filled croissant though, since it is your birthday weekend and all."

Now that Takanori would get out of bed for. And of course, despite his words, Akira had well overdone it. Croissants, macaroons, little quiche, a couple of cannolis, but everything smelled so good. Between the two of them they devoured over half of the pastries. 

"Well, since I feel like a puffball again from all your food do you mind if I take a quick shower?" He asked, scooting off the edge of the bed. 

"Of course. I'm going to clean up and sit out here, pretending I don't want to be in there with you." 

"Akira! Geez. You can't just say things like that." Takanori whined, gathering his things and heading into the bathroom. The shower was amazing. Jets in the walls and ceiling, heated floor. It was heaven to be honest, and he spent more time than he had planned. He knew Akira must be tired of waiting on him. 

Stepping out of the shower, Takanori slipped into a soft black robe and ran a towel through his hair. A thought went through his mind, one that he'd been mulling over for some time, and a smirk formed on his lips as he stepped out of the room.

"Hey Aki? Did you know I have a birthmark?"

The blond lifted his head from phone, his eyes narrowing. "I...wasn't aware. Is that something I was supposed to know about?"

Takanori shook his head and loosened the tie on his robe. Then he pulled it open just enough to show a strip of skin all the way down his side. He then pointed to a small darker place on his skin where thigh met pelvis. "See? It's small, but noticeable."

Akira arched a brow at him. "I can't see it very well. Why don't you come closer?"

He did as he was told, stopping just between Akira's knees where he sat on the bed. Before he could say anything, Akira grabbed his waist and pulled him up on the bed. He landed flat on his back, his boyfriend hovering above him. 

"Jokes on you Aki. I know you can't sit on your knee like that for very long." Takanori teased, running his hands up through his boyfriend's hair. The sunlight made it shine, giving him some kind of halo effect that truly was realistic. Akira was his angel. 

Akira rolled his eyes. "This beds fairly soft. I could stand it for awhile, but you're right. I can't. Does it ever bother you that I can't do certain things?"

Takanori scoffed. "Akira, you're asking the one person on Earth who literally believes there is nothing you can't do."

"But you know that isn't true, Taka. I can't carry you. I only have a few years probably before I won't be able to drive. Lots of little things. Hell, I can tell you even sex with me is going to be boring."

"Stop that. I have never been bored a moment when I'm with you. I don't care about those things. And when it comes to it, I will be happy to drive for you. I don't want to hear you say these things. Let's change the subject, okay? I have a question. Would you...let me undress you? Feel you?"

Akira frowned. "Taka I told you I don't expect any of tha-"

"I know. I'm not asking because I think you want it. I'm asking because I  _ want  _ to do it. You don't even take your shirt off when we sleep together. I literally haven't seen any part of you naked since that time we got caught in the rain and you stripped in front of me. I just wanna look at my extremely sexy boyfriend. Okay?"

"Well let me know when you find him then."

"Akira!"

"Okay! Okay." He said, sitting back on the bed. "What do you want me to do?"

Takanori sat up. He didn't like the tone Akira was using at all. Why was he so hesitant? Was it his age still? Or was it that he was-

"I'd like for you to take your shirt off. Come sit up here, just relax." He started, watching as the blond moved to sit against the pillows before reaching for the end of his shirt. "I promise I won't push too far, and if at any moment being with another guy like this isn't okay for you, then please tell me."

Something dark swirled in Akira's eye, his expression hardening, and Takanori had a feeling he'd figured it out. The kissing and holding hands, everything above the clothes had been okay, but now that he wanted more, Akira was realizing this wasn't something he wanted. Takanori knew the other loved him, but loving someone didn't have to entail sex. 

Takanori kept his eyes on the bed between them, pulling his robe tighter around himself. "It's okay, you know? It is Aki. I'd rather never have sex and be your boyfriend than be with someone else. Let me get dressed and we can talk some more. We can kiss and cuddle like before okay? Just please don't look at me this way. I love you."

Tears were gathering behind his closed eyes now and he wasn't sure how to keep them at bay. He was telling the truth; sex didn't matter as long as he'd always have Akira to hold him and tell him he loved him. 

"Takanori."

Hearing his name felt like his head was being pulled up be unseen forces, lifting to meet Akira's gaze. The blond had removed his shirt, holding it out to Takanori. He took it, gently clutching it to his chest. He could still feel the warmth the warmth from his boyfriend's body in the material. 

"Is this what you've been thinking in that head of yours?" Akira asked, reaching out to cup his cheek in his much larger hand. "Baby, come here." 

Takanori didn't protest as Akira pulled him to sit sideways on his lap. Nor did he complain about the arms that wrapped around his waist. 

"Listen to me, okay? You're being a guy has nothing to do with my hesitation. And before you say it, neither does your age. I want you more than I've ever wanted anyone in my life Taka. Trust me, in my head I've already had you in every way possible. I've kept my distance with you because I'm afraid I won't be able to stop myself once we start, and though it doesn't bother me, I've never been with another guy before. I'm terrified that I'll hurt you or that because of my issues it won't be perfect for you."

"It will be. It's you and me. Nothing could make it more perfect. Why don't you just let me decide how fast things move or how far? That way you don't have to worry about hurting me and I can take things at my own pace. You can tell me if you want me to stop and I will."

Akira was chewing on his bottom lip, brows drawn in concentration, but finally nodded. "That seems like a good plan. What should I do? Can I touch you too?"

Takanori nodded, feeling a small flame of hope building in his chest. "Of course. If you want too. Can you just...take your jeans off?"

This time Akira didn't argue, slipping out of his jeans and tossing them off the bed before laying back, hands behind his head. Takanori's tongue just about lolled out of his mouth. Akira's muscles flexed under tanned skin as he moved and Takanori's eyes roamed from his strong shoulders to the taunt expanse of his stomach. He felt his cheeks turning red and glanced away from the tight blue boxers he wore. 

A chuckle reached his ears. "Taka, if you're going to blush like that just seeing me in my underwear, how will you ever get me naked?"

"I'm not blushing!" He snapped. Reaching to the bedside table, Takanori took the little remote control and closed the curtains, leaving the room in a dim light from the fake fireplace. He could still see but he knew Akira would have a harder time. "Take them off Aki. I want to see all of you."

"Alright, but if you squeak I  _ am _ going to make fun of you."

"Whatever. I won't even do that!"

His cheeks burned though, so hot Takanori was half afraid he'd come down with a fever. He just...hadn't been this close to another naked man since he and Yuu were in elementary school; the first time they'd skinny dipped in their hidden pool. But Akira wasn't a ten year old boy and Takanori could not stop staring. Before he could even register the movement, he'd reached out, fingers ghosting along the line of Akira's hip. His boyfriend flinched and Takanori yanked his hand back. 

"Did I hurt you?"

Akira shook his head. "No, your hands are like little ice cubes. Here, let me." He said, holding out his hands, and Takanori slid his own into them. Akira pulled at his hands until he scooted closer. He knew what his boyfriend wanted, but with the way his heartbeat was going frantic in his chest, Takanori wasn't sure he could actually do it. 

"Aki...I can't…"

"You don't want to?"

He shook his head. "I do. I just- I can't."

The blinding smile appeared on Akira's face and no matter how dark the room was, it seemed as bright as the sun now. He sat up a bit more, his hands grabbing Takanori's waist through the thick robe. Akira helped him move until he was straddling him, sat higher on his stomach for now. Fingers were quick to undo the tie of his robe before he could protest, the halves being parted and pushed from his shoulders. Panic flared up in the back of his mind, but soft lips grazing his sternum forced it back. 

He tried to stay still, but his squirming under Akira's kisses left him sat suddenly in the blonde's lap. Takanori gasped, yanking at blond strands as his ass made contact with the hard length of his boyfriend's cock. A shiver rushed through his body and straight to his own erection caught between them. Was Akira really this turned on by him? Was that even possible? 

"Akira. Aki is this okay?" He panted, his face buried in the other's hair as Akira's tongue circled his nipple. 

"Of course it is." He replied, pulling away to look up at him. "It's just us Taka, remember?"

It was. Just Akira and himself locked away from the rest of the world. No one could judge them or ridicule them here. They were free. 

"I wanna taste you Aki. Okay?"

"Whatever you want babe. I'm not going to stop you." He replied, loosening his hold on his hips. 

Takanori took a deep breath and slid the robe all the way off, throwing it over the side of the bed. Nerves made his movements stiff, but seeing the lust in Akira's eyes as they traveled over his body helped his confidence. Before he could chicken out, he scooted down Akira's body until he could settle between his legs on his knees. 

He knew his boyfriend didn't want him to feel any pressure, and honestly? The moment he'd laid eyes on him Takanori had wanted to get his mouth on his cock. He needed too. But he needed to say something first. 

"Aki, I'm not going to be very good at this. So tell me what I can do to make it better for you." 

"Don't even worry about that. Trust me, you'll do just fine. Can't you tell how hot it makes me just thinking about being in your mouth?" 

Takanori was sure his face was tomato red by now but Akira's words had the desired effect. He was determined. Poking his tongue out, he licked at the head a couple times before putting his mouth over it and sucking a bit. Above him Akira's eyes closed, a long, breathy moan releasing from his lips and it was the single sexiest thing Takanori had ever witnessed. Especially knowing he was causing it. 

After a minute or so Takanori had made up his mind that he truly enjoyed doing this, and he experimented a little, licking at times, sucking at others, anything that strung out those moans from his boyfriend. It didn't take too long before Akira's muscles began to tense and he dug his fingers into Takanori's hair, gently directing his head. He loved the way it felt when the blond took over, his hips lifting to push deeper into his mouth. About the time Takanori thought he'd choke, Akira would pull back out and he'd be fascinated by the sight of his cock dripping with his own saliva. It only made him want it more and he'd literally dive back for it. 

He could tell when Akira started getting close by the way his breathing became labored and his grip tightened in his hair. Sure enough a few erratic thrusts later he came undone, calling out Takanori's name to the ceiling as he filled his mouth and Takanori was forced to try to swallow only to choke, cum and saliva dripping from his lips. His eyes were watering but he could see how blissed out his boyfriend looked and pride flared up in his chest. He wiped across his lips with his arm before crawling up beside Akira, laying down with his head on the other's shoulder. 

Takanori wasn’t sure if Akira wanted to be touched right now or not, but he took the chance anyway, sliding his right hand over his chest to rest over his heart. Akira immediately covered it with his own, turning onto his side a bit. 

“Are you okay? I wanted to warn you but it kind of snuck up on me. I’m sorry.” He said, bring Takanori’s hand up to kiss his knuckles. 

“I’m fine. I’m sure that wasn’t the sexiest thing to see, but I’m fine. Happy even. That I could make you feel so good.”

“I don’t think ‘good’ quite covers it. To be honest, I’m sorry you were uncomfortable, but you did look sexy. Leud, erotic, very sexy.” Akira let go of him, his hand traveling down Takanori’s stomach to stroke deliberately slow at his cock. He really was on the verge of exploding at this point. "Nothing I dreamt of could have ever come close to that. Thank you."

Takanori scoffed. "You don't have to thank me for something like this Aki."

Apparently Akira didn't agree; he was already pushing Takanori on to his back, their lips sealed in a searing kiss. In the back of his mind, he was aware of how perfectly the blond fit between his thighs but his worry was too prominent. 

"Wait. You can't-"

"I know my limits Taka. Don't worry about me. Like you said, just relax."

Relax? How the hell was he supposed to do that when the kisses being trained down his chest and stomach were driving him absolutely insane? The moment those soft lips parted and he watched his own cock disappear into the wet, hotness of Akira's mouth his entire body jerked. The sensation was like nothing he'd ever felt before. Akira was mimicking what Takanori had done to him and now he understood why the blond had come undone so quickly. But just before he found his own release he felt something that made his entire body freeze and he sat straight up, reaching for Akira.

"Aki stop!"

His boyfriend pulled away, licking over his reddened lips. The display would have been arousing had he not been more focused on clamping his legs shut.

"What's wrong? I thought you were enjoying that? Did I do it wrong?" He asked, voice so sincere. 

"What were you trying to do? I- I  _ was  _ enjoying it, but you-"

Akira smirked. "I just wanted to feel you a little more. It was just my finger Taka. I'm sorry to surprise you, but I wanna know what you feel like inside. Won't you let me feel?" He asked, closing the distance between their faces until the tips of their noses brushed together. 

Oh. 

Takanori slowed his breathing, allowing himself a moment to think. It wasn't sex; Akira wouldn't push for that yet. This was something he'd done himself before so would it really be a big deal to let Akira do it? 

"Okay." He finally conceded, closing the gap and kissing his boyfriend. He could taste himself on Akira's lips and it flooded him with heat once again. "Please continue."

Akira laid him back down before making a show of sucking his middle finger into his mouth to get it wet. Just the thought left Takanori panting, but he was momentarily distracted by the heat of the other's mouth on his cock again. This time when he felt that pressure against his hole, he tried to relax. The tip of Akira's finger wiggled its way inside and Takanori grabbed for the bed sheets. The intrusion burned, but in a familiar, if not more intense, way. His hips bucked up, forcing Akira's throat to tighten around him as that finger slid just a bit further, hitting just the right spot, and he came unglued. 

His voice reached the ceiling, filling the room, and he was just so able to keep his eyes open to watch his boyfriend swallow him whole. The pressure left him a whimpering, shaking mess, but Akira was grinning like a fiend. He crawled back up to the top of the bed, pulling Takanori into his arms as he rolled on to his back. 

"You feel exquisite. So hot and tight. I can't wait to bury myself inside you someday. It's going to be like entering heaven. You're so perfect Taka. So perfect and all mine." Akira murmured, nuzzling his hair. Takanori could only whine deep in his throat at the mental images Akira was feeding him as the last of his orgasm left him like putty in the other's hands. 

They didn't go any further the rest of their stay, but couldn't keep their hands off each other either. Room service was ordered and they spent the rest of the weekend lazing around in bed as well as making use of the shower again. Takanori felt as if he was on cloud nine and dreaded going back home, but he knew this was only the beginning. They would have many more weekends to be together. 

As the Mustang sped towards home, Takanori reached over to take Akira's hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. They didn't need words. Not now. He was sure Akira could feel how happy he was and he could tell the feeling was mutual. For now, things were good. 

  
  
  



	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait!

Almost three months had gone by since his birthday and though he’d been busy, Takanori wasn’t about to complain. Sunday afternoon when they’d returned from the city, his mother had been grinning, holding a thick envelope in her hand. His acceptance letter. The three of them had celebrated that evening, but that night he hadn’t been able to sleep. Akira knew why though he had elected not to say anything. Words wouldn’t help. He wasn’t ready to say goodbye. 

Now, with graduation only a few weeks away and the weather getting warmer, he and his friends were taking full advantage of it, spending as much time together as possible. Which was why he was now packing a backpack. They were going to the waterfall, and even though Takanori had stressed that it was a bit of a walk and some steep climbs, Akira had agreed to join them anyway. He didn’t want his boyfriend to over do it, but he was extremely happy to have him tagging along. 

“Taka! Akira is here. I’m leaving for work!” His mom called up the stairs and he heard the front door close then footsteps downstairs. Knowing Akira wouldn’t come upstairs unless Takanori asked him to, he grabbed his bag and headed down to the living room. The blond was there in black jeans and an old shirt, looking at something on his phone. 

“Hey there. Reading anything interesting? We could have just come and picked you up at your house, you know?” He asked, setting his bag down and wrapping his arms around Akira’s waist.

Akira hummed, threading his fingers through Takanori's. "It's okay. Besides, I wanted to see you for a bit before we left, and your mom's gone tonight so I figured I'd just stay here after we got back. Unless you'd rather not share your bed."

That thought made his stomach drop. It wouldn't be too long now before he wouldn't have Akira in his bed anymore. 

"I want to share my bed with you every night Aki. I'm...not ready to move away from you. How are we even going to do this? I don't want to only see you at Christmas. I can't go that long without you. A- and what about after I graduate. I can't do the work I want to do from here. We're never going to be together again, are we?" The words tumbled out of his mouth before he could keep them at bay. 

He felt Akira release a long breath before turning around. His larger hands framed his face and he smiled, but Takanori could see the sadness in his eyes. "This isn't the day to think about these things Taka. We should just enjoy the days we have left together."

Those words felt like the last nail in his coffin and he could already hear the dirt being shoveled down on top of it. All this time Akira had been reassuring him that things were going to work out, that they'd be fine, and now he couldn't do it anymore. 

Takanori tightened his arms, pressing his face into the other's chest. "I'm going to miss you so much. I don't know if I can handle it."

Akira hugged him close, pressing kisses to his hair. "You can handle anything Takanori. I'm...going to miss you terribly, but it's going to be okay. Someday it won't hurt anymore and I know you're going to do wonderful things out in California. I'll see you again someday; probably on the TV or in some magazine."

"But I won't see you." He sniffed.

"It's better that way. I promise it is."

A honking from outside was the only thing to break them apart. The others were here to pick them up. 

_______________________

It was strange having two extra people with them. The four of them had never shared their special place with anyone, but it felt right to take Kazuki and Akira there. The six of them were a family of sorts and Takanori knew it was hanging over their heads that this might be the last time they were together like this. Would they get another chance to be alone in their own space again? 

Takanori squeezed Akira’s hand as they climbed out of the car. He wanted his boyfriend to know he was going to take his advice and enjoy every second of their time together without the sulking. He must have understood because a kiss was placed on his cheek just before his hair was ruffled from behind. 

“Yuu!” He whirled around, fake punching the raven haired in the stomach. 

His hands went up in surrender but he was still laughing. “I only have so many more days to torture you. I’m not about to go easy on you now.” Yuu teased, patting the top of his head. “I wonder if the water is going to be really cold still. It’s been so nice the last couple of weeks.” 

“Of course it’s going to be cold Yuu. It doesn’t matter how nice the days have been. It’s still only reaching low sixties at night. So the water wo-”

Kouyou cut his boyfriend off with a hand over his mouth. “For one time, can we not talk about how the weather works?” He asked and Yutaka huffed, but nodded his head. 

"Oh come on guys, Yutaka's facts are interesting." Akira knocked shoulders with Yutaka who smiled shyly at him. 

Yuu snorted. "You've only had to hear them for half a yea-" He cut off, his eyes focusing on the ground suddenly. 

Kazuki frowned, placing his hand on Yuu's shoulder. "Babe? What's wrong?"

"Half a year." He replied, looking at his boyfriend in the eye. "We've only known you and Akira for half a year. It...doesn't seem fair that this," he waved his hands around to encompass them all, "finally feels right, when we're all about to leave. It doesn't seem like enough time."

Yutaka was the one to break the silence. "That's because it's not." He spoke, his voice was gentle as he reached out for Yuu's hand. "But we  _ have  _ time. Like you said before, we're moving apart, but there are ways to still be together. This is  _ not  _ the end of our friendship."

"Yuta's right." Kouyou added. "This is just the beginning of something new. And now thanks to Kazuki and Aki, none of us have to go at this alone. Then in a few years, Taka will be making enough money to fly us all wherever we want to meet!"

They all laughed at that, some of the tension now broken, but Takanori's eyes met Akira's and he understood what he saw there. What Kouyou had said was only half true. Takanori wouldn't have him when he left. He would be alone after all and they'd probably never see one another again. 

"Well, come on then. No sense in worrying about all this now. Let's go enjoy the day, hm?" Kazuki suggested, his voice sounding chipper, but Takanori could tell that even as a newcomer, he didn't want to leave this group behind either. 

The others silently agreed, everyone gathering up their things from the trunk. Yuu locked the car and, with Kazuki, took the lead. Takanori and Akira stayed in the back of the group. The weather was unusually warm, like the cosmos was smiling upon their outing and offering them this reprieve from the cold temperatures of a few weeks ago. He was sure Yutaka was telling Kouyou all about it judging from the hushed voices in front of them. 

“It’s beautiful out here. I’ve never really explored the areas around town other than my own land. How did you guys find this place? Taka?”

Akira’s quiet voice reached beneath the veil of melancholy that had settled over him, pulling him from those dark thoughts. “I’m sorry. Um, what did you say?”

The blonde’s brows drew together in a frown. “I asked how you and your friends ended up finding this place of yours. Are you okay?”

_ How could I ever be okay? _

“Yeah, of course. Just lost in my own little world for a moment. We uh, well, we used to come to hide out under that bridge we parked by but eventually started exploring the area around it. Honestly we just happened to stumble upon it. There’s a good size stream that broke off from the river that runs outside of town and it’s strong enough it has eroded a fairly big pool at the bottom. It’s deep too. Yuu and Kouyou never make it to the bottom; they always jump off halfway down the hill. It’s loud down there, but secluded. It feels like our own little world when we’re there. I just want to stay here forever.” He finished, his mind trailing back to all the times they’d come here together, the history this place held even in their short years. 

“Things are going to be okay Taka. You have to believe that. You won’t be able to enjoy your future if you’re stuck in the past. Trust me.” Akira said, his voice low enough for the couple ahead of them wouldn’t hear. 

Takanori shook his head. “How am I supposed to enjoy the future without you?” There were tears burning behind his eyes again, but he looked up to meet the other’s gaze anyway. “Why did I even meet you if you were only going to be ripped out of my life? What am I supposed to do? How do I make it not hurt?”

Akira stopped walking. “ Taka… I don’t have the answers. Don’t you think it’s killing me too? Maybe I should go back to the car.”

For the first time since the realization that he and Akira weren’t going to last sprung into his head, Takanori looked beyond his own feelings. It hurt ten times more to think that Akira was feeling this pain too; that they were standing so close but, at the same time, they were so far away from one another already. He finally reached out for Akira’s other hand and brought it up to lay against his cheek. A few stray tears landed on that warm hand and he could see in Akira’s expression that yes, he was feeling this just as much. 

“No. Stay with me please. Just a little longer. Aki.” He sniffed, trying in vain to take a deep breath to clear his tight throat. “Will you stay with me tonight?”

Akira’s fingers brushed back through his hair, gripping the back of his head and pulling him into a tight hug. “You don’t even have to ask. I’ll be with you every night.”

“Um, I hate to interrupt, but you guys okay?”

Takanori lift his head from Akira’s chest to see the clear concern on Yutaka’s face and nodded. “Yeah. I just needed a moment. We’re coming.” He took Akira’s hand once again and followed Yutaka to where the rest of the group had stopped to wait for them. Takanori expected at least Yuu to make some kind of joke, but apparently today wasn’t the day for it. He only smiled and started walking again. 

By the time they were halfway down the side of the cliff, just as expected, both Kouyou and Yuu stopped. 

“Alright, this is where we get off. Akira, you jumping with us?” Yuu asked, stripping his shirt off and handing it to Kazuki. 

His boyfriend shook his head. "No, thanks. I'll stay with Taka."

"No, Aki, go with them. If you wanna do it, then you should." He replied, already taking the bag from the blonde's shoulders. 

"I'll do it if you jump too."

Takanori scoffed. "Uh, no. I can't jump off that cliff. I'll die. I'll hit the water wrong and die. I can't swim well."

Akira was rolling his eyes. "You won't die. Come on Taka. Just once? Jump with me. I'll make sure you don't drown. You trust me, don't you?"

"That's not fair Aki. I trust you...but it's really high…"

"Taka's afraid of heights." Yutaka interjected, and Akira's teasing expression softened. 

"Do you  _ want _ to jump Taka?"

"I-" He started, biting down on his bottom lip. "I've always wanted to…"

"Alright. Then we'll just do it together." He stated simply, yanking his shirt off. 

There was a cough from behind him and Takanori turned to see Yutaka glancing away and Yuu's jaw hanging open. 

"Alright. I'll admit it. Taka officially has the hottest boyfriend here. Damn. Who knew a crippled old man could look like  _ that _ ." Yuu said, clapping his hands together in applause. Akira was blushing up to his ears, arms wrapped around himself. He'd never seen the other act so shy. 

"I think you're right, Yuu. I definitely have the sexiest boyfriend on the planet." Takanori replied, lifting up on his toes to press a kiss to Akira's lips. 

"Taka…" He wormed, but he was smiling again. "Will you jump?"

"For you, I will try." He answered, and Yutaka took their bags and clothes with a proud smile. 

Takanori kept his shirt on but stood next to his boyfriend and watched Yuu and Kouyou jump off the side of the cliff. They yelled all the way down into the pool below. Akira was grinning like a mad man but Takanori still didn't want to jump. 

"Aki...I can't do this. Even with you. I can't do it." He whispered, a death grip on the blonde's hand.

Akira leaned down, his lips ghosting over his ear. "You can do anything Takanori. Anything you want. No matter how long we're together I will always believe in you. You took a chance to be with me much bigger than this. Just don't close your eyes and keep ahold of my hand."

"If...if I jump...you have to come home with me tonight."

"Of course I will."

Takanori glanced up at him then, a sweet smile on his face. "If I jump, you have to come home with me and- and I want to have sex...with you."

His boyfriend's eyes widened almost comically. "We'll… we can discuss those terms later. But I promise we  _ will  _ talk about it. How's that?"

He'd take that. After all, this really wasn't the place to have that discussion. Things decided, Takanori stepped a few feet back and ran at the edge of the cliff, never letting go of Akira's hand. It felt like an eternity before they hit the water but Takanori understood now why Yuu and Kouyou would do this. In those precious seconds after your feet left the earth the feeling of complete freedom was euphoric. It was as if none of the problems in your life could touch you. Then a moment later you were plunged into the cold water below, all of your senses coming alive at once. The feeling was too much for a person to explain. 

Before he had time to realize that maybe the water was still too cold for them to be in, Takanori was yanked back up to the surface. Akira had ahold of him, keeping him steady while he caught his breath. 

"You okay? Takanori, are you okay?"

The worried tone of Akira's voice made him stop rubbing at his eyes. A grin plastered itself on his face as he took in his boyfriend's concerned expression. In that moment he knew letting Akira go simply wasn't an option. No matter what argument the other may make, Takanori was  _ not  _ going to let it happen. 

"I'm fine Aki. I'm fine. I can't believe I did it!" 

Akira chuckled, nuzzling his nose against his cheek. "I can. I told you, you can do anything. Come on, let’s get you out of this water before you turn into a popsicle.” 

“Too late.” Takanori chuckled. “I’ll race you to the edge!” 

Despite his amazing dog paddling skills, Akira made it to the shallow end of the pool before him, standing up so the water only reached his waist. Drips of icy water ran from his hair across his chest and Takanori didn’t care that anyone was around, he wanted to lick them up. Why was he so worked up today? Hell, why had he told Akira he wanted to have sex? Was he truly ready for that? He...felt ready. Honestly it’s all he’d been able to think about the last week or so. The only thing Takanori worried about was that he was only feeling this way because he knew their relationship would end soon. He didn’t want that to be true, but knew it probably was. 

“I was afraid I was going to have to do another lap before you got here.” Akira teased, reaching out ruffle his hair. 

Takanori swatted his hand away with a huff. “It’s not my fault. I told you I can’t swim  _ and  _ I’ve got short arms!”

“And you distracted him. He just about drowned staring at you.” Yuu snickered as Takanori flipped him off. 

Akira shook his head. “I doubt that. Taka never says anything about how I look. Although I will admit that I have that problem. I’ve got the cutest boyfriend on the planet so I spend quite a bit of time staring at him.”

His jaw hung open, unable to form words for a moment before he smacked his boyfriend’s chest. “Stop that! I tell you all the time how much I like how you look. You never stare at me you liar.”

“Uh.” Yutaka started. “Yes he does. Almost every time you aren’t looking at him, Akira’s staring at you. It’s the most adorable thing. He looks just like a puppy.” 

Takanori watched as his friends all nodded their heads in agreement and Akira turned the color of a tomato. He’d never seen the blond actually get embarrassed. How could he be even more attractive?

“Okay okay. Lay off my boyfriend. He’s sensitive.” He said, pushing Akira towards the bank and onto the grass surrounding the pool. 

Takanori grabbed the towel out of his backpack and wrapped it around himself before slipping his wet shirt off. Yutaka and Kazuki had laid out a few blankets on the grass, using their bags to hold them down. Yuu of course went straight for the cooler of beer, tossing one to his boyfriend. Usually Takanori didn't drink while they were here, but today felt different, so when offered he took the chilled can and popped it open. They spent quite a while there on the blankets, talking and reminiscing. None of them brought up their impending departures, instead focusing on stories from their pasts. Takanori had laughed so much his sides ached, but it seemed a small price to pay for such a relaxing day. 

At some point they'd braved the cold water again and Takanori had pulled Akira through the waterfall to the small rocky outcrop behind it. The roar of the water was loud, but they could hear each other clearly in the small cavern. His chest was right with nerves, but he couldn't let them stop him from saying what he needed to. 

"Akira...I've made a decision." He started and the blond turned to him with a soft smile. "I don't want to break up when I leave. I  _ can't _ handle that. I- I know we won't see each other much, but we can make it work right? We can video chat and talk on the phone and I'll be home for the holidays. We love each other enough to make it work. I know we do."

The smile left his face, replaced by an expression he could only realize as pity, before he sighed and reached out for Takanori's hands. "We do, Taka. We do love each other that much, but more than that, I love you enough to let you go. This isn't realistic. I know you're hurting, I feel it too, hanging over my head like a thunder cloud, but I know that I won't last in a long distance relationship like that. I can't talk to you on the phone then go to bed alone. I can't wait for months to hug you, to kiss you. And that would only be through school. What if you make it big and leave the country? I couldn't deal with that and it isn't fair to either of us to try."

He knew Akira was right, but he couldn't stop the tears that rolled down his face. "I don't want to hurt you… I don't want you to be in pain because of me. But Aki I don't know if I can handle losing you. And I want to be selfish and hold on as long as I can."

"Then do that. I know the next few weeks will be hectic because of graduation coming up and then getting ready for California, but in the meantime, spend your nights with me. When the time comes to end this, I'll make sure it's not any harder on you than is necessary. Come here."

Takanori went willingly, sitting sideways across his boyfriend's lap. Akira wasted no time wrapping his arms around him. "Will I ever see you again?"

Akira's breath hitched just enough to be noticeable. "I don't know Taka. Maybe if you visited your mom a few years from now we could see one another, but not too soon."

He guessed that made sense…

_______________________

The mood as they followed the trail back to the bridge was somber. Everyone seemed to be in their own world, thinking their own thoughts. Takanori had slowed his pace, noticing that Akira wasn't moving as quickly as when they'd arrived this morning. It was getting late, almost ten o'clock now, so he knew his boyfriend was probably hurting from the amount of physical activity they'd done throughout the day. 

"On a scale from one to ten?" He whispered, leaning closer to the blond. This had become their way for Takanori to ask if he was okay without badgering him. 

He caught Akira's wince as he stepped down again. "Eh, I wanna lie and say a five, but honestly more like a nine. I should have brought the crutch...like you told me too."

Takanori didn't throw an 'I told you so' in his face, only moved closer and put his arm around the older man's waist. "Use me. I won't let you fall Aki. We're not too far from the car now. We'll get back to the house and I'll get your meds and run a hot bath. How does that sound?"

Akira nodded, leaning more of his weight onto Takanori. "It sounds wonderful, but only if you'll join me in the bath."

"I think I could spare a few minutes." A kiss was pressed to his temple before they fell into silence again. 

When they finally made it to the car, he and Akira piled into the backseat along with Yutaka. It was a fifteen minutes drive back to town, but Akira was asleep before they pulled up to Kouyou's house. Takanori liked it when his boyfriend slept on his shoulder this way. It made him feel like for a moment he could protect the other. As Kouyou and Yutaka gathered their things from the trunk, he ran his fingers through Akira's hair. 

"Aki... we're home. You gotta wake up." He muttered so as not to startle him. Takanori chuckled. Akira was so out of it he didn't even budge. He tried again, shaking his shoulder a bit. "Come on honey. You can't just sleep in the car all night."

Once again Akira didn't respond and Takanori felt panic flooding his heart. 

"Akira! This isn't funny. Wake up now." He said loudly, catching the attention of Yuu and Kazuki who turned around with concerned expressions.

“Taka? What’s going on?”

He was in full fledged panic mode now. Akira’s breathing was shallow, his chest barely moving, and he wouldn’t  _ wake up!  _

“I don’t know! He won’t wake up! Yuu, go to the hospital. Please! Please hurry!” He all but screamed at the older boy. Yuu, to his credit, didn’t argue. Takanori kept trying, watching through teary eyes as he continued to get no response from his boyfriend. What the hell was going on? The worst scenarios filtered through his mind and it wasn’t until he felt Kazuki’s hand on the back of his head, his fingers massaging into his hair, that Takanori realized he was hyperventilating. 

“Yes...hello. Um, I’m about three minutes from the ER. My friend fell asleep and we can’t get him to wake up. I’m not sure what’s wrong...” 

He heard Yuu’s words as if they were reaching for him through a tunnel, hollow and far away. Takanori gave up trying to shake Akira awake, pulling the blond to him and cradling his head against his chest. “Please Aki...please wake up. Please, I need you.” He mumbled through his tight throat. 

“It’s going to be okay Taka. He’s going to be fine. Akira’s so strong. He’ll be oka- okay.” Kazuki was trying his best to comfort him and internally Takanori was thankful for the gesture, but outwardly all he could do was cry. Never in his life had he been so terrified and it felt like his heart was sitting in the back of his throat. 

“K-Kazi...call my mom...please. I want her to know where I am since she’s probably home already.” 

Kazuki nodded. “Of course.” He replied and immediately was on his phone. 

By the time they arrived at the hospital, two male nurses were waiting just outside the ER doors for them. They took Akira inside on a stretcher, past a set of doors where another nurse stopped Takanori from following any further. 

“I need to be with him!” He protested, trying to maneuver around the woman. 

She only looked at him kindly, sympathy in her dark green eyes, and put a hand on his shoulder. “I know that’s what you think right now, but he’s in good hands. I promise as soon as the doctor knows something, I will let you know. You have to give them time to help. Can I get you anything in the meantime? Come with me, I’ll take you to the waiting room. I’ll make sure your friend’s join you. Your mother as well since I’m sure she will be here soon. Are you friends with Mr. Suzuki?”

Takanori shook his head as the young woman led him into a small waiting room and handed him a glass of water. His stomach felt too upset to drink it. “No, he’s my boyfriend…” 

The woman offered him a comforting smile. “It’s good to hear that he has someone to look after him. My name is Hannah. Just come out to the desk and ask for me if you need anything okay? I’m going to go back and see how things are going.”

A few quiet moments went by before Kazuki and Yuu entered the waiting room, sitting down on either side of him. 

“Sorry, we hurried. Have they said anything yet?” Yuu asked, reaching over to take one of his hands. 

“No. The nurse that brought me here said she was going back to check on him but she’s still back with the doctor. What am I supposed to do, Yuu? What could have caused this to happen? I feel wrong just sitting here. I need to do something.” He mumbled, staring at their joined hands. 

“You don’t need to  _ do  _ anything Takanori. You’re here for him. That’s what’s important. Your mom is on her way over. It seemed like she wasn’t so surprised to hear what happened so maybe that’s good news. Like Kazuki said, Akira is going to be fine. He loves you too much for anything else to be true.”

Takanori wasn’t sure he believed that. “We… we are breaking up.” He whispered into his friend’s shoulder. 

“What?” Kazuki spoke up. “What do you mean you’re breaking up? Why? I thought you guys were getting on fine?”

“We are, but I’m moving to California and he won’t leave. We’ll never see each other and he’s right, I won’t come back here. We were going to tell everyone after graduation. It’s a m- mutual decision.”

Neither of them said anything and Takanori could tell they understood, and probably agreed. It hurt like hell, but telling someone did relieve the pressure in his chest a bit. 

"Taka? Oh my baby." 

Takanori's head snapped up as his mother came into the room and he stood as she hugged him close. Simply having her there made him feel less panicked. 

"Did you talk to them?" 

His mother shook her head, leading him back to sit down. "They're running some tests and doing MRIs right now. He's awake, but drowsy. I will go back in a bit and find out more. In the meantime, are you okay?"

That he scoffed at. "Who cares if I'm okay? I'm only worried about Aki. If he's awake I want to see him."

"You have to give them time Taka. I'll take you in as soon as they're done with the testing." She chided and he caught the way Yuu and Kazuki looked away from them. He didn't care. He was far too upset to care. 

Time ticked by. Minutes seemed like hours and though he'd been able to calm down, Takanori still felt sick. What if this was his fault? What if bringing Akira with them today had done something to him? He couldn't imagine knowing he had caused the older man pain. His fingers tightened and loosened on the end of his shirt. Idle hands; he needed something to do, but there was nothing. Nothing he could do to help his boyfriend, to protect him, and that was the worst part. The reality that he couldn't take care of Akira hit him like a brick to the face, and scrounged up all kinds of negative thoughts. Maybe they weren't meant for one another after all. 

"I'm...not good for Akira. Am I?" He muttered so only his mother would hear. 

"That's not true. You have been good for him. You got him out of the house, helped him face the public, and even helped him make some new friends. You've built his confidence. I...don't know what will happen to the two of you when you leave, but I know for a fact Akira will never regret having met you Taka. And he wouldn't be happy to hear you saying these things either. Ah, Hannah, are they done with his tests?" His mother asked and Takanori looked up to see the younger nurse smiling. 

"They are. Mr. Suzuki would like to see you first." She turned a sympathetic look towards him. "Alone, for now. He wants you to hear what the doctor has told him so you can relay it to your son."

Takanori let out a long breath; Akira wasn't pushing him away. He let go of his mother's hand and moved to sit back by Yuu to wait for her return. 

"If they keep him, will you stay here overnight?" Kazuki asked from the other side of his boyfriend. 

Takanori nodded. "Yeah, I'll stay. You guys can go one home if you want."

"No, no. That's not what I was getting at. I was only asking because I thought maybe we could bring you some clean clothes and anything else you might need."

Of course Kazuki hadn't been trying to leave. He wasn't that type of person. In fact, Kazuki was one of the most caring people he'd ever met. 

"I...I know Kazi. I'm so sorry for even saying that. No. You guys don't have to do that for me. I'll be fine. As soon as my mom comes back that is. But thank you for being such good friends to me."

The red head just nodded and fell silent again. When the doors opened again, Takanori didn't wait for his mother to join them in the waiting room, meeting her in the hallway instead. 

"What's going on? Is he going to be okay? Can I-"

She put her hands up to stop his torrent of words. "Akira is going to be fine. Long story short, there is a piece of shrapnel behind his left eye that the doctors were unable to remove when Akira originally had surgery. It's tiny, but they assumed it would stay put. It didn't, and moved enough to press on a nerve the wrong way. Basically he just passed out. It's not as big of a deal as it sounds. The piece has settled again and rather than cut him open again to try to remove it, they're going to monitor him for awhile instead."

"So he's okay. I want to see him now. Please."

"Taka there's-"

"Mama,  _ please. _ I need to see for myself that he's okay. I can't wait any longer."

Takanori could tell she wanted to argue, but in the end she only nodded and with a hand on his back, led him through the doors to the room they'd settled his boyfriend into. The moment he saw Akira, his eyes open and a smile on his face, every bad thought in his head was erased and he knew he was crying as he ran to the bed. Akira had already sat up, opening his arms for him which Takanori needed no persuading to hug him tight. 

"I'm sorry I made you worried." Akira's breath was hot against his ear. 

"I wasn't worried. I was  _ terrified.  _ Don't you ever do that to me again. Ever!" He replied, tightening his arms until he wasn't sure if his boyfriend could even breathe anymore. 

"Then I'm sorry I terrified you. I know this must have been scary for you to handle. Thank you for getting me to the hospital. You take such good care of me."

Now his stomach was dropping again. Takanori pulled back a bit. “Akira… What happens after this? What happens when I’m not here to take care of you?”

Akira smiled but it was tight and never reached his eyes. His hands rubbed up and down Takanori’s arms. “That’s something I need to talk to you about actually. Here, come sit with me.” He said, scooting over to make room. Takanori moved slowly, climbing in next to him. Hospital beds were so uncomfortable. How could they expect people to recover when they were sleeping on squishy cardboard?

“So what is this about? Did you make me sit down because you know I’m gonna be mad?”

“No, nothing like that. You see, the doctor told me about a place in the city where people like me live. A place where I can live on my own, but there will be people to check in on me every once in awhile. Just in case something like this were to happen again.”

Takanori was grinding his molars. “So...you’ll be selling the farm then? You’re going to leave it all and move to the city? What about Tally? What about...if I visit my mom? You won’t be here and- I thought I’d see you.”

Akira sighed, sitting up so they were face to face. “Takanori… I said that because I know you needed to hear it at the time. You and I both know we aren’t going to see each other again once you leave. A- and this move will make it easier. For both of us. You won’t have to worry about running into me when you come back to town and I won’t have to live in the house that reminds me of you. This will be a good move for me.”

“I hate that you’re right…” Takanori took a deep breath. “It does sound like a good place for you to be. And though I’m not exactly happy about talking about this break up again, I do think that it would help me, knowing that there will be people around to watch out for you. It doesn’t matter how far or long we’re apart, I will always worry about you. When are you making this move? And stop staring at me and comfort me already.”

The sound of Akira’s laugh made his chest tight, but his heart feel lighter. If this move made Akira happy and safe then really, who was he to cause a stink? They only had a short time together, he wasn’t about to waste it fighting. So instead he snuggled back up to the blonde’s side. 

“I love it when you’re bossy.” Akira replied, his thumb brushing across his bottom lip. “You’re so beautiful.” 

“And you’re getting off topic. Stop trying to distract me. Tell me the news then maybe I’ll let you kiss me.” He teased, sticking out his tongue to touch Akira’s finger. 

“You’re the only thing distracting here. Well, the doctor said that he was going to contact the housing department in the morning, but I told him I can't leave until after graduation. I won't miss it."

Takanori felt himself grinning. "Such a good man. I'll see if I can get the guys together for a 'pack Akira's house day', but for now, I think you earned that kiss." With a giggle, he used his southern Belle accent. "And if you're a real gentleman, I'll let you see what's under my bonnet!"

Akira was cackling, pushing him back onto the cardboard mattress. "My beautiful darling, I'm much more interested in what's under your skirts!"

"You're a dog! An absolute scoundrel!" Takanori laughed, his face hurting from hard he was smiling as Akira finally kissed him. It felt so right to be in his arms. If only it could last forever.

  
  



	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's taken me so long!!!! I hope you all enjoy this chapter. The count has changed. There's only one chapter left! The ending I had planned has....changed. You are all going to hate me but I like it so don't hate me too much!!

"Taka! Did you bring your cap and gown with you or does your mom need to bring it to the school?" 

Takanori chuckled as he righted the graduation cap on his head. Akira was stressing more about him graduating than he was himself. 

"No, I brought them!" He called back down the stairs. 

Akira's footsteps receded back into the living room and Takanori could not stop grinning. Over the past week or so, he and his friends had helped Akira pack his house up to move. It was strange seeing the boxes sitting around and at first, they'd made him incredibly sad, but he kept telling himself that Akira would be somewhere that people could take care of him and that calmed him down. He couldn't imagine what would have happened had his boyfriend been alone at home when he'd blacked out. That was a thought Takanori wouldn't allow back in his head. 

The moving truck would be here to load everything the day after tomorrow and Akira would be officially moved out by that evening. There wasn't much time left for them, but Takanori was going to do his damnedest to make a few lasting memories before they parted. Which was why he now stood in the floor-length mirror inspecting his attire. The dark blue graduation gown looked huge on him, almost reaching the damn floor, but the cap fit cutely on top of his newly bleached hair. He'd curled the ends a bit only because he knew Akira loved his hair that way. 

With a sly smile to his reflection, Takanori headed downstairs, his steps silenced by the soft carpet. Akira was sitting on the sofa, on elbow on his knee, flipping through a magazine no doubt left there by the younger at some point. He didn't look up as Takanori entered the room. 

"Well, what do you think? Do I look ready to graduate?"

Akira's gaze swept over his slowly, appreciatively. "Dark blue is definitely your color. Come over here. I'm so damn proud of you, you know that?"

Takanori was careful to keep himself covered as he slid into Akira's lap. No sense in giving away the surprise so soon. "Of course I know. You tell me  _ all  _ the time. Aki, I'm so happy that you'll be there today. I know our situation...sucks, but it means everything to me that you're here."

"I wouldn't dream of missing this." He replied, rubbing a comforting hand along the top of Takanori's thigh. A slight frown creased his forehead. "Taka, what exactly are you wearing under this gown?"

"Why don't you find out yourself?" 

Akira arched a brow at him, a grin tugging at the corner of his mouth. “You’re awfully daring this morning. What’s gotten into you?”

"Not daring." He replied, letting his fingers wander under the hem of Akira's sleep shirt. "Just confident. I know you keep telling me to wait. You think I'll fall in love with someone else and want to have saved myself for them, but I don't want that. I'm confident that you want me just as much as I do you and I want my first time to be with you. I love you and I probably always will. So won't you give me this memory?"

"Taka, I just think that-"

"What if the next person I fall for isn't like you? What if I decide to give it to him and he's not a good person? Wouldn't you feel better knowing my first time was perfect?"

"That's not fair Taka, and you know it. I just wish we had more time; a few years before making this decision. It doesn't seem right to let this happen right before we break up."

Takanori shook his head. "I think it's the best time for it to happen. I don't want to leave this relationship without giving you every piece of me. Don't you get that?"

From the look on Akira's face, Takanori knew he had won the argument, so why did he feel so...hollow? 

"Okay, I-"

"Wait." He finally spoke up, pressing his hands to his boyfriend's chest. "I'm sorry. If this is something you feel so strongly about, I shouldn't pressure you into it. That's not what I wanted. If this doesn't happen solely because we want it to then there's no point. I'm gonna go change then we can cook breakfast, 'kay?"

Offering him a smile that he hoped didn’t show his underlying disappointment, Takanori slid off his lap and headed back upstairs. In the bathroom once again, he leaned on his hands braced on the edges of the sink and stared at himself in the mirror. What he’d said was the truth; the last thing he wanted was to force Akira into something like this, but he just couldn’t understand why the older man didn’t feel the same way he did. Was this something he was too young and naive to understand? Or was it simple? Would giving in make things that much more difficult for them to part? Either way, the only thing Takanori could know for sure was that his heart was breaking again and again, day after day. 

Takanori pulled the cap off of his head and set it on the counter just as he heard the first uneven footfalls coming up the stairs. He didn't even attempt to hide his confusion as he stepped out into the hallway and met Akira at the top of the stairs. 

"What are you doing? I'll only be a minute, you didn't need to come up the stairs." Despite his growing disappointment Takanori couldn't help himself from worrying more about Akira than himself. 

"I know. But I wanted to come up to you. Taka, you're right, you know? I've always treated you like an adult and respected that you could make your own decisions, yet here I am making this one for you. I feel selfish because I want you. I feel like I don't deserve it when this is the last day we'll see each other. But it's your decision. If you want your first time to be with me, then I'm done saying no."

That had been the last thing Takanori had expected his boyfriend to say. He understood how Akira felt but at the same time, wasn't  _ he  _ being the selfish one? He wanted Akira and he'd been willing to tease as much as he needed to get his way. “No, I wasn’t right. It should be something we both mutually want to happen. I’m not going to push on this. Let’s just forget this conversation happened and move on with our day, okay?” He asked, reaching out to thread his fingers behind Akira’s neck. “Kiss me and we’ll start the morning over.”

With Akira a couple steps below him Takanori was taller for once, and he found he liked it when Akira wrapped his arms around his waist and laid his head against his chest. He let the older man hug him for while, just enjoying the closeness, but the need to change clothes finally won out. 

“Alright. You gotta let me go. I need to put clothes on. It’s too awkward wearing this.” He said, pulling out of Akira’s embrace. 

“Oh no you don’t. You and this naughty get up need to come with me.” Akira corrected him, grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the attic stairs. Takanori decided not to argue. This was in fact their last few hours alone, he wasn’t going to waste anymore of it fighting. 

In the attic room, Akira already had the sofa bed pulled out. Takanori didn't think much of it until he was spun around and then he was being kissed like Akira was starving and he was the only food in sight. They giggled as their teeth hit together but didn't stop. Akira's hands were sliding down his sides but Takanori was far too distracted to realize what was going on when he was suddenly lifted off his feet. He squeaked, instinctively wrapping his legs around the blonde's hips. 

"Aki you can't!"

"I can for a moment. Just shut up and let me kiss you." 

Now  _ that  _ he definitely wasn't going to argue with. It felt so good to be in Akira's arms like this. Takanori slipped his arms around his boyfriend's neck and initiated the next kiss, nipping playfully at his bottom lip. The groan that left his throat left Takanori gasping, grinding his hips against him for some kind of relief. 

"Tell me right now if you want me to stop Taka." Akira asked, his lips pressing kisses along his jawline. 

"Never. Never gonna say that." 

"I didn't think so."

Akira was gentle when he laid him down on the bed but whether that was for his own sake or not, Takanori wasn't sure and didn't care. It was like a fog had settled into his mind and all he could focus on was the way his boyfriend stepped back just long enough to strip down to his boxers before moving over him again. For a second he almost protested, but Akira knew his limits. No need to bring them up again. 

Akira's hands bunched in his gown, pushing it out of his way as he fit himself between his legs. Takanori felt himself becoming more and more nervous. It wasn't like they hadn't messed around before. Hell, he and Akira had done just about everything  _ but  _ sex. And yet when he saw the little bottle of lube in his boyfriend's hand he wanted to snap his knees together and never open them again. 

"A-Aki, wait. Just...hold on a second." He mumbled, sitting up against the pillows. 

Concern filled those dark eyes he loved so much. "It's okay Taka. Come here, just lay with me a bit hm? Let me hold you a while longer."

Takanori sighed, relief spreading through his chest as he laid down, resting his head on Akira's chest. Why was he so scared? Even Yutaka had done this! It was stupid. He wanted Akira. He knew it would feel good. So why was he hesitating? 

"Everything's fine Taka. Some things just aren't meant to ha-"

"I'm afraid because it's going to hurt." He blurted out even before his brain had a chance to catch up with his mouth. 

"Oh." Was all Akira said at first, his hand tightening over Takanori's where it rested on his chest. "Takanori, you know what it will feel like. Have I ever hurt you before?"

"Well…no, but this isn't your fingers."

Akira chuckled, pulling Takanori on top of him. He placed his palms on his cheeks, pressing a kiss to his nose. "Babe, I am not going to hurt you. I promise, if you want this, I will make it feel only good for you."

Takanori chewed on his bottom lip, tracing patterns on his skin with his fingertips. "Okay, I trust you, Aki."

Despite the seriousness of the moment, Akira smirked. "Are you going to freak out if I show you the scary bottle again?" 

"You are such an asshole!" Takanori pushed his hands away, a pout forming on his lips. "Give me the bottle.”

“Why?”

He held his hand out, palm up. “Because I told you to.”

Akira arched a brow at him but dropped the little bottle into his palm. Takanori smiled sweetly before standing up to turn around. He pulled his gown up around his waist before popping the bottle open and covering his two middle fingers in the cool liquid. 

“Taka, babe, what are you doing?” Akira asked from behind him. 

Takanori leaned forward a bit on his knees and reached behind himself, rubbing his fingertips against his entrance. He heard his boyfriend’s breath hitch when he began pushing one finger into himself. The angle was awkward and he knew it would be impossible to reach as deep as Akira could, but he wasn’t going to give the other the satisfaction of doing this. Not when he’d just made fun of him. 

A soft moan fell from his lips as he hastily added another finger and began moving them with the little bit of mobility he had.

“Takanori...let me do it for you. Please? I can do it better.” Akira’s voice was breathy and Takanori knew damn well he was watching. 

“No. You can just watch. Maybe you shouldn’t have made fun of me, hm? Now you don’t get to play.”

The growl that left his boyfriend’s throat threw him off for a second and the next thing he knew, he was shoved forward onto his stomach, Akira straddling the back of his legs. His lips ghosted over the shell of his ear as he spoke. 

“I’m sorry sweetheart, but you won’t take this away from me. Not when I only have one chance to make you feel as good as I can. You aren’t in the position to be teasing.” He whispered as he slid one long finger into him. Takanori groaned, his body trembling with how much better this felt. Akira had never been very rough with him but this was fine with him. They’d both been waiting for this for far too long. 

Akira scooted back and Takanori moved willingly as his hips were pulled off the bed. The position was embarrassing but whatever Akira wanted, he would give him. Especially when two fingers slid back home and began an easy rhythm to open him up. By the time Akira withdrew again, Takanori was whimpering and so hard he could feel himself throbbing. He only hoped his boyfriend was just as turned on. 

“Baby, come here. Please.” Those words were delivered in such a soft tone that Takanori turned around to find that Akira had sat back against the pillows again. He didn’t hurry, some of the adrenaline leaving his body as he turned around and situated himself on the other’s lap once again. His eyes closed as Akira’s hands fit to his hips and he rest their foreheads together. The moment was calm, like a peaceful break amidst the whirlwind of emotion they were both feeling. Takanori had a feeling Akira was about to apologize, about to put an end to what he’d started, and he wasn’t going to allow it to happen. 

Before he could protest, Takanori sat up on his knees to push Akira’s boxers down far enough to wrap a gentle hand around him. As he had suspected, the older man was just as hot and hard as he was and a beautiful moan left his lips the moment Takanori touched him. Akira’s head fell back, his eyes closing, and breathing becoming laboured and he took the moment of distraction to move again, placing the head of his cock to his ass. 

“Taka wai- Oh fuck…” He all out moaned as Takanori braced his hands on his chest and lowered himself. The stretch was painful despite how thorough Akira had been with him. His ass was on fire but he ground his teeth and continued until he was sat all the way against his boyfriend’s hips. 

He needed a moment to adjust and Akira seemed to understand without him having to speak. His hands were shaking as the unzipped the front of Takanori’s gown, pushing it back from his shoulders and throwing it to the side. Then his hands were suddenly everywhere, roaming over every inch of exposed skin, followed by the warmth of his lips. Takanori relaxed into his hold, his fingers digging into soft, blond hair, tightening as a tongue lapped at his nipple. He’d never get enough of Akira’s mouth. How was he ever going to live without this touch again?

_ No _ . He couldn’t think about that right now. 

It was a strange sensation to feel Akira so deep inside him like this; he swore he could feel his heartbeat throughout his entire body. The heat that had licked at his skin only minutes ago was building back up and Takanori held his breath as he lifted himself up on his knees just a bit. A cry tore from his throat, the dragging sensation inside him too strong, too  _ much.  _ It felt too good. His legs gave out and he fell forward against Akira’s chest with a laugh. 

“D- does it feel that good for you, Aki?”

His boyfriend chuckled, tightening his arms around his waist. “You have no idea. Hold on to me a second.” 

Takanori didn’t ask why, just wrapped his arms around Akira’s neck. He yelped in surprise as he was flipped over on to his back.

"Aki-"

"Shh just kiss me." 

He had no time to protest as their lips met again and he moaned into his boyfriend's mouth as Akira started to roll his hips against him. He'd been so right. It only felt good now. He couldn’t kiss any longer; couldn’t afford not to breathe. Akira must have felt the same way because their kiss was broken and he was panting against the side of his neck. 

It wasn’t long before Takanori’s nails dug into the skin of Akira’s shoulders as the pressure became almost unbearable. He reached between them but Akira wouldn’t let him get far. He knocked Takanori’s hand away, replacing it with his own on his sensitive cock and stroked him just twice before Takanori was crying out his name towards the ceiling. His eyes burned, tears leaking down his cheeks as Akira rode him through his climax and every inch of him was on fire. He heard Akira’s gruff cry just before his hips stuttered and a hot sensation filled him. Takanori wound his arms around the older man and held him close to his chest. His boyfriend was shaking, his breaths harsh in his ear. He’d never felt this good before. 

When Akira finally lifted his head, he smiled tiredly and eased himself from Takanori’s body before laying down beside him. “I’m- I’m sorry.” He spoke, his voice still coming in gasps. 

Takanori rolled onto his side, cuddling up against him. “What are you sorry for?”

“That was too fast. I’m sorry I finished inside.” 

Oh. “Aki. Look at me.” He said, pushing himself up to lean his arms on Akira’s chest. One dark eye and one hazy met his own and he couldn’t stop himself from grinning. “It’s alright. We’ll just take another shower. And it wasn’t too fast. I wasn’t going to last any longer. Don’t worry. I told you it would be perfect and it was. Don’t let any of those bad thoughts in. Not right now. ‘Kay?”

Akira swallowed hard and Takanori could see his eyes get shiny. The tears never fell though. Akira brushed his hair back and placed a kiss on his bare shoulder. “You’re perfect, you know that?”

Takanori rolled his eyes. “Duh. So...now you have to tell me...is it better with a guy or a girl?”

His boyfriend let out a loud laugh and grabbed his waist, pulling him back on top of him. “Honestly? I don’t know. I can say though that no girl or guy will ever be as good as you. My hand will never be the same again. I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to get off by myself.”

“Oh shut up. Maybe if you let me sleep for an hour or so, I’ll let you have a round two in the shower. If...I can walk, that is.” 

“Don’t worry. I’ll carry you.”

Takanori laid his head down, his ear pressed over Akira’s steady heartbeat. No matter how hard he tried to hold on to the feeling of this moment, the love and warmth and  _ happiness _ , he could feel it slowly slipping away. They were giving way to the dark thoughts that had been following him ever since Akira had gone to the hospital. This was all ending and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

___________________________________________________________

"I told myself  _ and  _ you that I wasn't going to cry, but Taka...I think I lied. Just look at you. You look so grown up and so beautiful. Doesn't he Akira?"

Takanori arched a brow at his boyfriend, daring him to add to the embarrassment. Akira only smiled and nodded. 

"You do look beautiful, Taka. I love it when you curl your hair like that. Plus I've told you, I love you in blue. Your mother's right baby." He said, pulling Takanori into his arms. 

"Oh, you're gonna mess up your hair!" 

"Mama stop! It's fine. Go with Aki and sit down. We're going to start lining up soon and I want to talk to my friends first. Okay?"

His mother frowned but eventually sighed. "Okay, okay. I'm going. Just-" She leaned forward, kissing his forehead. "Be good. And don't trip walking across the stage."

"Now you've jinxed him. Let's just go sit down."

Takanori shook his head as his mother hooked her arm through Akira's and he led her back towards the auditorium. Over the last few days as they'd prepared for graduation and the party afterward, he'd come to realize that he wasn't the only one losing Akira. His friends and mother were losing him too. Akira had become a good friend for his mother and she didn't take easily to new people. Takanori had hoped once he moved away that having Akira here would help her, but now that he was moving too...he just hoped she would be okay. 

“What are you brooding over? I can almost see the smoke coming out of your ears.” 

He turned around to find Yuu standing behind him, his arm wrapped around his boyfriend’s waist. Kazuki looked sharp in a simple black suit with the collar open. His red and black hair was now all a reddish-brown that Takanori thought suited him well. Yuu already had his cap and gown on, his long hair falling straight onto his shoulders. 

“Nothing to worry you two with. Kazi, are you happy to have this all over with now?”

He nodded. “Oh yeah, it was stressful but our class was much bigger than yours. Yuu didn’t even get to watch me get my diploma because only my parents were allowed into the auditorium. There wasn’t enough room for anyone else. I’m glad I get to be here for you guys today though. Have you seen Kouyou? He looks so stupid, but don’t tell him I said that.” 

Takanori frowned. “Why’s he look stupid?” 

Before Kazuki could reply Takanori caught sight of his friend coming around the corner, Yutaka animatedly talking about something beside him. It took everything in his power not to burst out laughing. Unlike the rest of them, Kouyou had apparently thought his hair was supposed to go into his hat and it made the cap stand up off his head. He looked like a bald giant. He could tell Kazuki was trying his damnedest to keep it together too and Yuu jabbed him in the side with his elbow. 

Kouyou’s smile fell from his face as he neared them. “Why is that every time I come near Kazuki starts giggling like an idiot? Do I have something on my face? My underwear showing somehow? What is so damn funny?”

It was impossible. All of them, Yutaka included, burst out into laughter while Kouyou just stood there with an angry expression that only served to make him look even funnier. 

Yutaka was the first of them to regain any form of composure but he was still holding his middle like it was hard to breathe. “Kou, please. Please take your hair down. The cap goes on your head, not your hair.” He barely managed to get out before breaking into giggles again. 

Kouyou looked absolutely confused. “I thought everyone else was just waiting to put theirs up!” He fumed, yanking the cap off his head. “It took me forever to get it all in there. Why didn’t you tell me?” Yutaka only laughed harder as his boyfriend whacked him with his hat. Kazuki finally caught his breath, stepping forward to help Kouyou brush out his long hair so it didn’t look like such a mess. 

Laughing felt good but only went so far to cover the anxiety Takanori was feeling in his chest. Two days from now Kouyou and Yutaka were getting on a plane to London. Yuu and Kazuki were leaving in a week to meet with advisors from their college in Florida. One week after that...Takanori would be on a plane to San Francisco. Alone. As he looked around at his friends he felt sad but also so proud of them all. To think the beginning of this year had started off with a drunken bout of vandalism and now here they all were, ready to graduate and move on with their lives. It seemed a miracle they’d made it this far. 

“I think after the party tonight, we should all go out. Just the six of us.”

Yuu’s voice brought him back to reality and Takanori shook his head. “Not six. A- Akira is leaving right after the ceremony. He um, he has to drive home and he’s not supposed to drive after dark anymore.” The looks of sympathy on his friends’ faces were breaking his heart all over again and he had to look away. If he cried it would ruin his makeup and his mother would see. Through all of this, he had made sure she didn’t catch him crying. She didn’t deserve to deal with anything more than she already was. 

“Um, I think maybe just the four of you should go out.” Kazuki offered quietly. “I love you all but this started as four and I think it should end that way too.”

Somehow Kazuki always knew what to say. 

Before any decision could be made though, a bell rang out through the hallways signaling that it was time for them to get in line. The five of them shared one last smile before parting ways to their respective places. This was it. 

____________________________________________________________

Takanori was having a hard time. 

No, that was an understatement. He was having an impossible time. His suitcases were packed; everything he’d need for the immediate future ready to be moved to his dorm room. All he could do was sit on the bottom step and stare at the bags lined up so neatly near the front door. Everything was just too neat, wasn’t it? 

Kouyou and Yutaka’s parents had allowed Yuu to drive their sons to the airport while they followed behind, giving the boys the last few hours together on the drive to the city. They hadn’t exchanged memories or fears. The drive had been mostly silent. What could they say to one another that made this hurt any less? At the airport Takanori had hugged them both tight, trying his best to memorize everything about them from Yutaka’s shiny, tear-filled eyes to Kouyou’s trembling lips as they looked back once more before crossing through security. The remaining three of them had stood silently, watching until they could no longer see them. It was real. They were gone and it was only a matter of time before it would only be Takanori standing alone. 

To their credit, Yuu and Kazuki had included him in almost every second of their days before leaving for Florida. Takanori hated the way they could see right through him. The very night before they’d left once again for the airport, Yuu had shown up late at his house. Takanori had been preoccupied, sitting on his bed bawling because everything just hurt too much. His friend had sat down and pulled him into his arms without so much a word and he had no idea how long they’d stayed just like that. Yuu somehow always knew. He always knew exactly what Takanori needed and in that moment, words hadn’t been it. Neither of them needed words of encouragement; of reassurement. Takanori had woke up the next morning alone but knew Yuu had been with him most of the night; he could still smell his cologne on the pillow his head rest on. 

At the airport, he hadn’t been able to keep his tears at bay, not this time, and Takanori had been so thankful that his mother was with him. She’d let him sleep all the way home, his body racked with sobs that wouldn’t seem to stop and all the while her hand had laid gently on his back. Not once did Takanori see her break. Even on the day that he left for California. 

And now Takanori sat alone on a plane that would be landing in less than twenty minutes in a city he’d never visited. His mother had offered to come with him but Takanori had declined the offer. If his friends could move away from home on their own, so could he. It was fine if he was scared. Being scared didn’t mean he would fail. They’d gone through everything meticulously; he knew how to get a taxi and had the address to the school where he would find his dorm. No big deal. 

A buzzing in his lap had him looking down at his phone, a grin spreading across his lips. It was a photo from Kouyou. He and Yutaka had settled in a bit and had been doing some sightseeing while they had the time. They’d sent him their reflection in some window with French writing on it. They looked happy and healthy and that was all that really mattered. Takanori found himself wondering how long the texts would continue. When they all started school they would drift apart, wouldn’t they? Maybe not. Maybe they really were strong enough to stay friends even though they were so many miles apart. They loved each other after all. 

Love. His smile turned bitter. Love hadn’t been able to keep him and Akira together. 

Takanori knew in his heart that he was thankful that Akira had found a place he was safe in. A place that would help take care of him when he was too stubborn to take care of himself. That knowledge didn’t make him any less angry though. And he  _ was  _ angry. At one point he’d gone to Akira’s old house and just walked around for hours. It had been so strange to see the barn devoid of parts and equipment to fix the Mustang, to see the stable empty knowing Tally wasn’t out in the field. Takanori had used his key to get in and seeing all of Akira’s things gone had made his chest ache. He’d gone upstairs and sat in the attic, on the floor where the pull out bed had been and cried. That was where he’d first seen Akira’s eyes, where he’d told the older man that he loved him. It was too much for him. 

That night the sadness had been replaced by anger he himself didn’t understand. Questions that never should have been in his head were so loud he couldn’t help but think on them. Was it all real? Had they really been nothing but a fling? Had Akira really even cared about him? How could he confess to loving him so much then just give up and leave? All of these questions spent the next week swirling in his head and leaving him more and more upset until the moment his mother had pulled the car into the airport parking lot. 

At that moment he’d wanted nothing more than to find wherever Akira was living and go see him. He wanted to tell him it was okay, that he understood why Akira needed to leave town. Most of all, he just wanted to tell him he loved him one last time. In the end, he’d stayed silent and now there was no chance at a final goodbye. Maybe it was better this way. As bad as it fucking  _ hurt  _ to think about the older man, Takanori knew someday their time together would bring a smile back to his face. This was just how it had to happen. There was no part of him that regretted spending so much time in their doomed relationship. He’d do the same thing if he had the chance to wind back the clock. 

Although, now that they were descending and Takanori could see the Golden Gate Bridge far below them, he did wish that his mother was with him. 

By the time they landed and Takanori had found the baggage carousel, his suitcase was the last one left. This airport was so much bigger than the one he was used to and it hadn’t taken more than a handful of minutes for him to get lost. He’d ended up asking an employee where the hell he was supposed to go. After gathering his suitcase, he followed the signs towards the pick-up line. He took a moment before trying to hail a taxi to pull up the address on his phone that his mother had texted him. His hands were shaking. Why was he so scared? Things were going well so far despite getting lost. He had no reason to worry. Once in the taxi, he gave the address to the driver and sat back to watch the city outside go by. The drive was about twenty minutes in traffic before they pulled up in front of an apartment building. It was nice, made of part brick and part pristine white siding, but this wasn’t where he was supposed to be. 

“Uh, this...this isn’t the right place. C-could you stay just a moment?” He asked the driver, stuttering out his question. 

The driver, a middle-aged man with greying hair, nodded and offered him a sympathetic look. He could probably tell how scared he was. 

Takanori pulled up his mother’s number and hit send. She answered after a couple of rings. 

“Hey baby, have you landed yet?”

“I did. Awhile ago. Mama, the address you gave me for the dorms, it wasn’t right. I’m in front of some apartment building downtown.”

There was a long moment of silence on the other end of the line before she spoke again. “There was a slight change in plans Taka. Don’t fret. Just go inside to the apartment number I gave you. Everything will be fine.”

“But Ma-”

“Takanori. Do as I tell you. Don’t waste any more time and call me later.” With that, she hung up and Takanori paid the driver before gathering his bags. 

What in the hell was going on? They’d talked about him getting an apartment rather than the dorms but hadn’t they decided against it in the end so he wouldn’t have to work? With a heavy sigh of defeat, Takanori went up the steps and inside the main lobby. The number his mother had given him was on the sixth floor, the very top of the building. Stepping out of the elevator he found one door on either side of the hallway. The one on the right read 602 so he knocked. When no one answered he tried the handle and the door swung open. 

It felt wrong. Why the hell was he just walking into a strange apartment? And why was his mother pushing him to do this? His heart was pounding as he stepped into the small foyer. From what he could see the apartment was furnished, it looked like someone lived here already. Had his mother really moved him into someplace with some  _ stranger _ ?

“H-hello? Is anyone here? My uh, my name’s Matsumoto? And I don’t know why I’m here.” He called out, gripping the strap of his backpack hard enough to turn his knuckles white. 

“Stop where you are and put your hands where I can hold them!!” 

Takanori dropped everything, his hands shooting straight into the air. “Please, I don’t kn-” 

Wait. Put your hands where I can hold them? That sounded like something only… With his heart in his throat, Takanori turned around. Tears were already trailing down his cheeks as he stood there, his mouth hanging open, hands idly hanging at his sides. 

Akira stood there, leaning casually against the wall. A pair of sunglasses were perched in his forever messy hair and the smile on his face took Takanori's breath away. Akira was here?! In California?? And all he could do was burst into tears.

"Taka!" Akira caught him just before his knees hit the ground, pulling him into his arms and holding him close. Takanori wrapped his arms around his waist, his hold too tight but he couldn't let go. None of them were true, the questions he'd been asking himself on the plane. Even if Akira was only here for a final goodbye, Takanori knew they were real. He was loved. 

A good ten minutes went by before he was able to calm down enough to release his death grip on the back of Akira’s shirt and the older man moved them until Takanori was sat on his lap, his legs on either side of his hips. He kept his cheek resting against the now damp fabric of Akira’s t-shirt, unwilling to meet his eyes again. 

“Th- thank you for coming here.” He whispered, a shudder rolling through his body as he tried to keep his breath from hitching. 

Akira’s hand cupped his cheek, his thumb brushing lovingly over his cheek. “You don’t have to thank me. I don’t...understand. I know I should have told you I would be here but I thought that you would be happy to see me.”

Takanori finally lifted his head. “It’s not that I’m not happy, Aki. I wanted to see you more than anything. I never thought that I would see you again, but doesn’t this just make it harder? We already said goodbye once. I thought that would be the last time. I don’t know if I’m strong enough to let you go again. As happy as I am that you’re here, I wish you weren’t.”

“Taka, I-”

He shook his head, letting go of Akira and getting to his wobbly feet. “I love that you came here to tell me goodbye. Really, it means a lot to me. I have to get to the school now though. They’re expecting me and I don’t want to try to find my way around after dark. Maybe if you're here for a couple of days, we could meet up tomorrow or something.”

Akira got to his feet but didn’t reach for him. “Taka, I’m not… I’m not leaving and I’m not here to say goodbye. This.” He gestured to the room around them. “This is  _ my  _ apartment. I  _ live  _ here and I guess I was hoping that you might want to live here too. I told your mother that I would help you move to the dorms when the semester is over if you don’t want to live with me anymore, but I thought we could at least try it. Unless you really don’t want me here and I’ve misread the whole situation. In which case I will help you find somewhere else to stay.” 

All Takanori could do was blink. His brain had completely fuzzed out the moment Akira had said he lived here. 

“I- I don’t understand. I thought you moved to the city? To the place your doctor told you about?” 

“I almost did.” Akira admitted, shoving his hands in his pockets. “But then I realized I was a fucking idiot. I couldn’t stand the thought of not seeing you for even one day. The day after I left the hospital, I talked to your mom and told her I wanted to make a place for us here. She agreed to it as long as you had the choice to leave, and I promised her you would. I can’t live without you, Taka.”

The tears...were back. 

“You moved to California for me?” He asked, though the answer was obvious and the grin on Akira’s face told him he was just not getting it.

“Of course I did. I love you. So please stop torturing me and tell me you want me to be here. Tell me you want to live with me too.”

Takanori was getting whiplash from his own emotions, the sadness he’d felt only moments ago gave way to a joy so vibrant he thought his chest would burst. Akira had  _ moved  _ here and wanted him to  _ live  _ with him? This could not be real. An hour ago he was in tears because he was so angry about having to leave and now… 

It felt as if he could finally breathe again. 

“Yes! Akira yes! I want to live with you but don’t talk about it only lasting a semester. I can’t think of you being away from me again. Please, never again.” 

In the blink of an eye, he was in Akira’s arms, his feet lifted off the ground. Akira kissed him like he was starving and Takanori held his own. It had seemed like an eternity since he was last in the older man’s arms and he never wanted to leave again. When they parted Takanori wiped at the tears on Akira’s cheeks and raised up on his toes to press another kiss to his lips. 

“I swear Taka, as long as you’ll have me, I will never leave you again.” He whispered, arms tightening around him again. 

“Then I will keep you forever.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it, we've come to the end.  
Thank you all so much for reading and sticking with me so long. I've received so many nice messages and they truly keep me going. This last chapter was never something I planned when I started writing this fic, so I hope it fits well. I like it. But don't hate me too much! I hope you enjoy!

The weather was far too cold for swimming. Too cold to even run your hand through the water and the waterfall was nothing more than a half-frozen trickle of its previous self. Takanori remembered a time when the sunlight had filled the small clearing, warming their skin as well as the cooler of cheap beer they’d brought along. The last time he’d been here was eleven years ago but not much had changed. At least not with the landscape before him. He had changed though; life had changed. Every twist and turn of his life over the last decade had been unexpected but, for the most part, he’d welcomed every moment. This last twist he wasn’t sure he could handle though. It was too much. 

Takanori sat down on the cold grass where he’d laid down a small blanket and his eyes focused on the small ripples of water as his mind wandered. The last time he’d been here he and Akira had made the final decision that they would break up but in the end life hadn’t been able to keep them apart. Akira had moved to California and Takanori couldn’t have been more surprised or happier. He’d promised to give living together a semester and see how he felt but he’d known from the moment Akira had asked him to live with him that there would be no moving out. 

Akira had continued his tech support job while writing music but also took a job with an army recruiting center as a consultant. They wanted him to sit down with young men or women who weren’t sure yet and help them make that hard decision. Takanori had been so proud of him and Akira had flourished having found a purpose. Living in San Francisco hadn’t been as difficult as his boyfriend had thought. Public transit made life so much easier and thought he never admitted it, Takanori knew Akira secretly loved the business of the city. 

Two years after their move, Akira had been accepted for a total knee replacement and after surgery and therapy he’d been like a whole new man. The first thing they’d done when he’d felt ready was walk from the bottom of Lombard street to the top. Takanori had about died from being so out of shape but what took his breath away the most was Akira dropping down on one knee. He'd proposed to him, right there in the middle of the street and of course the answer had been yes. Three months later, they’d had a small ceremony back home. His friends had all flown in for the wedding and instead of a honeymoon, they’d spent the week in town with everyone. Takanori had been so happy; he was sure life couldn’t get any better. 

But it did. 

Just before he’d graduated, Takanori had been approached by a man named Lyle Andrews. He’d done his research and found out Andrews owned a cosmetic company that he had built from the ground up. The man had fawned all over Takanori, praising the designs he’d seen him post online and in school forums. He wanted to invest and help Takanori build his own brand. And he’d done just that. Five years after moving to San Francisco, he and Akira had moved to New York where he’d built the homebase of his company. A year later he’d paid back the initial investment plus some and stood on his own two feet, with Akira’s never ending support of course. 

The two of them had spent the next three years flying all over the world for shows and events and though he would never admit it, Takanori knew Akira secretly loved it. He loved being busy and rushed schedules but they always somehow made time for just the two of them. Not to say they never fought but the fights were few and far between. For them, life was perfect, but they knew things couldn’t stay that way forever. Just before Christmas of their third year they had been spending a quiet evening in their apartment and Akira had gone to take a shower while Takanori cleaned up after dinner. He’d just finished putting the dishes away when he realized how long Akira had been in the shower. At first, he hadn’t panicked, thinking maybe his husband had simply gotten distracted and hadn’t got in the shower yet, but he could hear the water running as he entered the bedroom. With fear building in his mind, he rushed into the bathroom. Akira was sitting in the bottom of the shower, his head slumped forward, and it was just like the first time. He wouldn’t wake up and his breathing was shallow. Takanori had kept himself together and called the ambulance. Akira had woken up seven hours later and couldn’t remember even getting in the shower. Takanori had been terrified and Akira ended up with a monitor to alert the hospital if his heart rate dropped too quickly. After some time, he forgot about the scare and they moved on. Another four years went by without any complications. 

Takanori took a deep, shuddering breath, his mind refocusing on the present as he heard footsteps approaching from the hill. A few moments later Yuu walked into the small clearing, a smile appearing on his face when he met Takanori’s gaze. He wanted to return that smile but couldn’t muster the energy. Yuu seemed to understand, sitting down beside him on the blanket, their shoulders just touching. 

“I’m glad you’re here, Yuu. Didn’t Kazi come with you?” He asked, keeping his eyes focused on the chilly pool before them. 

Yuu nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, of course he came, Taka. He’s back at my parent’s house. We thought it would be best if I came alone. I didn’t know if you’d want to talk or just sit here. Either way, I’m here. As long as you need me to be.”

Takanori could feel his throat getting tight. Hadn’t he cried all the tears he possibly could? He didn’t think he had the energy to cry anymore. “Thank you. I...I want to talk about it but I don’t think I can do it without falling apart again.”

“That’s okay, isn’t it? No one expects you to be okay right now. We’ve got a few days; if you don’t want to talk about it yet, then we can wait a bit. Do you maybe wanna go get something to eat first? Or at least go somewhere we won’t freeze to death?”

He knew what Yuu was suggesting made sense. It really was far too cold to be hanging around by the pool, even if the sun was out, but he didn’t want to leave. He wanted to sit here and remember the day they all spent together before graduation. He wanted to remember how it had felt, Akira holding him in the deeper water and kissing him until he couldn’t breathe. Takanori could almost feel the softness of the blanket they’d wrapped around them while he sat in Akira’s arms and sipped from lukewarm beer. 

“Yeah, we should go. Could we just...drive around for a while?”

Yuu nodded. “Sure babe, whatever you want to do. Come on, gimme your hand.” 

Takanori let himself be pulled from the ground and followed Yuu back up the hill to where a car he'd borrowed from his parents was parked by their old bridge. He hadn't realized how cold he was until the heater was turned up and he leaned back in his seat to soak in the warmth. He knew what was coming next, and he wanted to talk about it, but...what if he couldn’t make it through?

“So...tell me what happened. Or tell me what I can do to help, at least.” Yuu asked, his eyes focused on the dirt road before them. Somehow he probably knew Takanori wouldn’t be able to hold it together if he looked at him. 

“We uh, it had been a long week. We’d been in LA for this conference I had to go to and by the time our flight got back to New York it was like two in the morning. Akira...he’d been whining the whole day about strawberry bagels. That’s all he’d wanted. You know the ones? From that little twenty-four hour bakery around the corner from our apartment building? I didn  _ not  _ want to go. I was so damn tired from flying and I just wanted to go home and fall in bed. You know how I get after travelling a whole lot. Anyway, he wouldn’t let it go and I can’t say no to him, so we ended up at the bakery at three in the morning. Despite being tired, despite having spent the whole week probably bored out of his mind, Akira was so happy, Yuu. He was so happy to be home, to be there. So happy to have that fucking bagel.” Takanori’s words trailed off for a moment, tears leaving wet streaks down his cheeks. “Even when I was grumpy and didn’t want to deal with anything, he could always make me smile, you know? There wasn’t a thing in the world I wouldn’t have done for him if he’d asked it of me. Yet he never would.” 

“I don’t think Akira wanted for anything other than to be with you. He was happy.”

Takanori nodded. “I know. He told me all the time how happy he was with how I’d just barged into his life and changed it. Anyway, after we left the bakery, we went home and headed to bed. Neither of us had any place to be the next day so for once we didn’t even set an alarm. We’d both been looking forward to a long sleep. At some point before dawn I woke up. I still don't know why. I just felt like something was wrong. I laid still for a moment and noticed it was raining outside. I figured that's what woke me up so I rolled over like I always do with my forehead pressed to Akira's chest. This time though...his arms didn't tighten around me and I couldn't feel his heartbeat. I immediately woke all the way up and called to him. I shook him and yelled and he didn't respond. At first I thought it was just another episode like the last but something was different. I could just...feel it." He had to stop for a moment, wiping at the tears on his cheeks. "The EMTs told me there was nothing I could have done and that he'd just drifted away. They- they were so kind. I asked if I could have a moment before they took him away and they stayed out in the living room for twenty minutes."

Takanori turned to look at his friend then. "Please don't think of me weirdly. I'm not some kind of sick person. I just couldn't let him go yet. I sat with his head in my lap like we always did and I finished the book we'd been reading. I knew he'd want me to finish it. I just ran my fingers through his hair, like he was sleeping still. When they finally took him...I just sat there on the floor of our bedroom with his pillow in my arms and cried until I couldn't hold my head up anymore."

Sometime during his confession, Yuu had pulled over to the side of the dirt road and turned off the engine. Now he was reaching out for him and Takanori went willingly into his arms. The angle was awkward because of the middle console but he didn't care. 

"I would never think of you weirdly for this, Taka. I could never imagine how you must have felt. Of course you'd want to stay with him as long as you could. I'm so sorry that you had to go through this alone. I wish you had told me sooner so I could have come to stay with you, to help you with everything.”

He shook his head but it took a few moments until he could get himself under control again. “It’s okay, Yuu. Really.” Takanori told him, pulling out of his embrace to sit back in his seat. “I told the officer who oversaw the center where Akira was working; where he transferred to after leaving California. His name is Commander Miles. He’s been such a good friend to both of us and I knew he could help me. I haven’t had to do much planning. Honestly, as good as it sounds to have people around to help, I just wanted to be alone. After the last incident, the doctors told Akira that there was always a possibility of something like this happening. He decided that day that we were going to live like those words had never been said. Aki didn’t want that hanging over our heads. So we did. We lived life to the fullest I think. I’m...sad doesn’t explain it, but I am sad that he’s gone. It hurts like hell and I don’t know how I’m supposed to live without him here, but I’m going too. That night when I rolled over, he was smiling. He’d fallen asleep  _ smiling.  _ A- and if he were here, he wouldn’t let me waste a single moment being sad. He’d tell me to appreciate the time we had and to look back on our time with happiness. So that’s what I’m going to do. The best way I can think to honor him is to continue living life the way we were. I’ll see him again someday. I don’t doubt that.”

As he spoke, a smile spread Yuu’s lips. “I think you’re right. I’m proud of you, Taka. And know that we’re all here for you anytime you need us. There will be hard days and I don’t want you to think that you’re alone when they come. Akira actually told me about this Commander a couple times. He told me about the first time you met him; how strange it was to see him in uniform standing with you, but apparently you two hit off?”

Takanori chuckled, nodding his head. “We did. We both have the same sense of humor and found picking on Akira to be a favorite past time. Oh god, the first time we met I was wearing shorts, one of Aki’s sweaters and my hair was up in a messy ponytail. I even had on giant sunglasses. I’m sure I looked so hungover. We’d just gone down the street to have breakfast. It was horrible, but Miles was so polite. I never really met with any of the people Akira worked with in San Francisco, I was always so busy, but I got to know a few of the guys here fairly well. It was interesting to see Akira with those people. He seemed so at home. I always told him he didn’t have to travel with me if he wanted to stay and work a permanent job at the recruiting center but he would always shake his head and tell me he couldn’t imagine letting me go alone. At first I felt selfish for always taking him away, but Akira just enjoyed every new experience we had. I was so damn lucky.”

_________________________________________

Four days later, Takanori sat in the front pew of the church. The sanctuary had been decorated beautifully, yellow tulips everywhere you looked. He’d thought Akira would like them much better than the usual funeral flowers. He remembered every tulip his husband had ever brought him. It was their thing. 

Admittedly, he was distracted by his own thoughts as the preacher spoke a few words and scriptures. A seemingly never ending stream of people had come through the church to let him know they were sorry for his loss and to make sure Takanori knew he wasn’t alone and the sheer number had caught him off guard. He hadn’t realized just how many people Akira had touched during his time in California as well as there in New York. They’d filled the church and Yuu had informed him that there were people waiting in the wings of the sanctuary as well since there was no more room. It warmed his heart that so many people, both civilian and military, had shown up to pay their respects. It seemed to him that every person Akira had ever met was there. 

A rough hand slid into his grip and he looked to the side to find Yutaka smiling at him. It must be time for him to get up. 

“You’ll do fine. Just say whatever comes to mind.” Yutaka whispered as the preacher announced that he wanted to say a few words before the end of the ceremony. Takanori took the note cards from his pocket and made his way to the podium. Standing there, looking at a church full of people, he realized nothing he’d written down was worth saying. 

“I want to thank you all for coming today.” He started, taking a deep breath. “I had this whole thing written down before I got here but I think I’m just going to wing it. I don’t need to stand up here and tell you all how great of a man Akira was. You’re all here because you already know what kind of person he was. I’m amazed by the amount of people he touched in his short life. I feel selfish sometimes for the amount of time I kept him to myself but in the end, I’m glad that I did.” 

Takanori paused for a minute, collecting his thoughts and wiping at his eyes. “Akira and I met when I was seventeen. I don’t know how many people know that. I was still in high school and Aki...he was only known as the creepy guy who lived on the edge of town. It was only by chance that we met and half a year later we were breaking up. We were both convinced we weren’t right for each other but my mother… from the very beginning she knew that wasn’t true. The very first time she saw us together she knew what we had was special. And it was. I wouldn’t be where I am now if it wasn’t for him. He pushed me and supported me and I will never be thankful enough. I loved him with every bit of my being and I will always love him. I’m going to let this hurt for a while but continue on  _ for  _ him. I’m going to make him proud. Thank you all for coming here and showing your support for Akira. I know he would have wanted to thank you all personally if he could.” 

His legs were shaking as he made his way back to his seat and Kazuki automatically put an arm around his shoulders. The gesture was comforting but also made it harder for him to stay composed. The preacher announced where they would be laying Akira to rest and invited those present to follow them to the cemetery. Takanori had told his mother he wanted to ride there with his friends and she’d seemed to understand without him needing to explain. 

“Here. Drink this.” A bottle of water was shoved into his hands and Takanori knew he was scowling at it. Kouyou only chuckled from the front seat of the car. “It’ll help calm you down. You did good back at the church but we can all see you’re at your limit. Don’t worry, we’ll stay with you at the cemetery.”

“And who cares if they see you cry, Taka. No one here is going to judge you for that.” Yutaka added. 

“Maybe not, but if I start crying again I don’t think I’ll ever stop. I’ll be okay. I’m just so glad you guys are here.” He said as they pulled through the gates of the cemetery. 

Once they were all sat under and gathered around the small tent, the preacher once again said a few words. Takanori wasn’t hearing any of it. His eyes were trained on the shiny, dark wooden casket behind the man. Service members had laid a flag over the top and the edge nearest him kept lifting just a bit with the breeze. He couldn’t stop watching it. Maybe his friends were right; maybe he had reached his limit and now his mind was searching for anything that would distract him from what was happening. He knew this was all for show. Akira wasn’t in that coffin, not really. Just a body that happened to have held the soul that had taken half his heart. What was the point in saying goodbye now? Why couldn’t he have had the chance to do it while Akira was here? Why had he been taken so suddenly like this? It wasn’t fair! Why had the person he loved most in the world been ripped so easily from him?!

“Takanori.” 

Yuu’s voice was calm as it broke through the angry haze of his mind. His friend was still seated beside him, hand on his arm, and Takanori realized at some point he’d stood up. Everyone was quiet while he stood there, tears running uncontrollably down his face. Yuu gently pulled his hand, leading him to sit back down. 

“I’m sorry.” He whispered as the preacher continued. 

“You’re okay. Just breathe.”

Another ten minutes went by before everyone stood and Yuu and Kouyou held both his hands as the first notes from the bugle broke the silence. No matter how many breaths he took or how hard he squeezed his friend’s hands, it was impossible to hold his composure. He couldn’t imagine how all the stoic service men around him were thinking of him. For a moment, Takanori imagined they found him weak but then he remembered how Akira had always said he wasn’t ashamed of showing emotion, that it didn’t make him any less of a man; Takanori hoped that wherever he was, Akira wasn’t ashamed of him now. 

A hush fell over the crowd as the flag from the casket was methodically folded into a triangle and handed to Commander Miles who then approached him. The older man knelt in front of him on one knee and held the folded flag out between two hands. 

“On behalf of the President of the United States, the United States Army, and a grateful nation, please accept this flag as a symbol of our appreciation for your loved one's honorable and faithful service.”

Takanori took the flag and held it to his chest. By the time he would make it home, the fabric would be damp from the tears he hadn’t been able to stop. 

_______________________________________________

Six days had gone by since the funeral and everyone had finally gone home, leaving Takanori alone in the apartment again. Despite the obvious absence of his husband, it was nice to be able to relax and not put up a front for anyone. His assistant had cleared his schedule through the rest of the week and Takanori had decided to take the time for himself to try and adapt to the way life would be now. Not that a week was enough time to even begin. Once again though, his plan was ruined by the ringing of his phone. The Commander’s name lit up the screen. 

“Good morning, Commander.” He answered, taking a seat on the sofa.

“Good Morning, Takanori. I hope I didn’t wake you.”

“No, I’ve been up for awhile. What’s going on?”

“I was wondering if you could meet me today? I have a few of Akira’s things from work to give you and something important to show you.” Miles replied rather vaguely. 

He really hadn’t wanted to leave the apartment today but he knew the Commander wouldn’t be asking if he didn’t think it was necessary. “Okay. What time do you want to meet and where?”

“I’ll text you the address. I think about two would be best, if possible for you.”

“Sure. I’ll be there.”

After hanging up, he took a shower and got dressed. The weather had been gloomy the last few days after allowing them a sunny day for the funeral so Takanori dressed warmly since it looked like he’d have a bit of a walk after taking the subway to the address he was given. The Commander was waiting for him in front of a small coffee shop, two steaming cups in his hands, and handed one to him as he approached. 

“Thank you for meeting with me Takanori. I know the weather isn’t the best today. It’s a latte by the way. I wasn’t sure what you’d like.” 

Takanori took the cup gratefully and let it warm his hands. “As long as it’s coffee, I have no preference. It’s cold out today but at least the rain has stopped for the time being. It’s strange to hear from you on a weekend, what’s going on? What did you want to show me?”

Commander Miles smiled and offered his arm which Takanori took, allowing himself to be led down the busy sidewalk. “Straight to the point. Akira always liked that about you. Do you remember a couple years ago when Akira began talking about opening up the consulting center to veterans as well as possible recruits? He wanted to create a place for any military persons to come to seek consultation without having to worry about money. He hoped that with the right advice and resources that it may help reduce the number of veterans coming back from war from falling into depression or ending up homeless. It took us awhile to finally get the funding promises we needed, the right people to say they’d make continued donations, but it worked. The city is holding a small ceremony tomorrow for the opening but I wanted you to see it first.”

Takanori felt like his chest was about to burst but this time from happiness and pride. This was a project Akira had been working on for awhile, doing everything he could to bring together the right people to make it happen, but Takanori had thought the idea would fall through now that he was gone. To know that his fellow servicemen had continued on with his dream to make it a reality was the greatest gift he could have been given. 

“I don’t even know what to say, Commander. Akira would be so happy and so proud of you all. I know this would mean the world to him.” 

A hand patted his own. “I think you’re the only thing that meant the world to him, but I hope that he would be happy with what we’ve accomplished. Ah, here we are. What do you think?”

The building itself wasn’t anything special, hidden between two larger buildings like most offices in New York City. The windows in the front were large and unobstructed, Akira had loved sunlight and being across from a park like this, the office would have plenty of it. The name in the stone above the door caught his eye and his throat grew tight, his hand tightening on the Commander’s arm. 

** _Suzuki Consultation & Resource Center_ **

“You...dedicated the building to him?” He whispered, unable to take his eyes off the words above him. 

“Of course. This was his accomplishment. Akira did most of the work, we only tied up the loose ends. Why don’t you come inside? I have a few of his things for you.” 

Takanori nodded and followed him inside. They seemed to be alone since the building wasn’t open yet but he could already tell that this would be a welcoming environment. He took some time to look around, reading the names of the psychiatrists that would be volunteering their time here and looking over the self-help pamphlets that laid on the front desk. Akira would have loved working here. It had taken the better part of five years before his husband had completely opened up about his time with the army and Takanori had tried hard to hide his curiosity. Akira had joined the army hoping to alleviate the worry his mom felt about paying for college but in the end, he’d loved it and being able to still be a part of it in some way had made him so happy. 

“Ah, here’s everything we could find. I swear Akira would have lost his head if it hadn’t been attached. He had a drawer full of stuff.” The Commander said, setting a small box on the front desk. “He um, he also gave me this.” He said, handing him an envelope. “Akira gave this to me when he came back to work after the last time he blacked out. He wanted me to give it to you if anything happened to him. I haven’t opened it. I’m sorry if it’s upsetting.”

“It’s okay. Thank you for keeping it for me.” Takanori replied, tucking the envelope into the box with the rest of Akira’s things. “Hey Commander, would there be any more room for another sponsor?”

Miles narrowed his eyes. “There’s always room for sponsors, why?”

“I think I’d like to be one.”

He smiled, green eyes lighting up. “You don’t have to do that, Takanori. I didn’t bring you here to guilt you into donating.”

“I know, I know. But Akira always supported me in everything I did. This project was his baby, I want to support it.”

_________________________________________________

The sun had gone down by the time Takanori settled down. The box with Akira’s things was still sitting, unpacked, on the kitchen island while he sat on the edge of their bed with the envelope in his hand. It terrified him to think what might be written inside. As far as he knew Akira hadn’t kept any secrets from him but now wasn’t the best time for him to figure out that was a lie. With a heavy sigh he opened the envelope and pulled out a small blue card. There was nothing on the front and only a handwritten note on the inside. His heart was beating wildly as he read over the words and realized he had nothing to worry about. Tears were burning behind his eyes as he read and reread Akira’s chicken scratch. He may have been heartbroken, may have missed his husband more than anything in the world, but at that moment he knew that things were going to be okay. 

_ Taka, _

_ Just in case I don’t wake up next time. _

_ I want to make sure you know how much I love you. _

_ You’re my one and you always will be.  _

_ No matter where I am.  _

_ My heart is with you. _

_ Love you forever,  _

_ Akira _

  
  



End file.
